Males and Females

[CiG]

You can always reverse the procedure anyway man. I know guys that did it and they have no regrets so far.

Fuck putting trust in someone else with something as insane as 18 years of child support at the very least.

 

[EspaDa]

Reversing it is pretty expensive though. That's what I read.

 

[Vegard Pompey]

Well, having children is pretty expensive to begin with.

 

[Vilden]

Pretty fun tho.

 

[Dak]

Someone who doesn't want kids shouldn't have them. The broader issue is why do so few millennials and Gen Z'ers want kids?

 

[The Butt]

I don't see not wanting kids as an "issue".

 

[CiG]

It is if it is or becomes the norm for fairly obvious reasons.

 

[The Butt]

I mean, I haven't looked at any data but I wouldn't be mad if population started decreasing.

 

[CiG]

Problem is, population only starts decreasing in certain countries with certain cultures. Religious and regressive cultures and countries don't stop breeding.

 

[Dak]

Pretty much all of the industrialized world is already at or below replacement level fertility.

 

[CiG]

Do you genuinely like her enough to rough it out through the potential (inevitable really) future breakdowns as well as the day-to-day personality issues or is this just a product of loneliness on your part, if you don't mind me prying?

 

[zabu of nΩd]

I'm not lonely. I've had two short-term relationships in the past two years that were "just okay", and after both I felt relieved to be alone again. When I met this girl, I was very content with single life and not looking for a date - she's the one who asked me out.

I know a future breakdown is pretty likely. I don't know how it'll change my feelings for her. We've kinda talked about that already - I told her that I think there's extra uncertainty about things working out long-term because we both have mental illnesses, and she agreed. I can see potential day-to-day issues if we start living together, but idk if that's worth dwelling on right now.

 

[TechnicalBarbarity]

Women that have or have had breakdowns is a big red flag imo.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

I had a bad breakdown myself five years ago. I was unemployed for three years, largely as a result of it. Hard for me to judge her for her own.

 

[CiG]

I have depression myself, it's very mild these days through my own tinkering of certain things in my lifestyle, but I was seeing someone who had overwhelming personality disorder and fairly regular breakdowns and that was the most exhaustive period of my entire life.

That was probably the moment I realized I cannot maintain an all encompassing relationship without deteriorating.

So from one mental health sufferer to another, be careful man. You're probably stronger than me in that area, but still.

That shit aside it seems like you've met someone you genuinely like, given she basically snagged you and reeled you in from your single and happy life lol. Good sign!

 

[TechnicalBarbarity]

I had a bad breakdown myself five years ago. I was unemployed for three years, largely as a result of it. Hard for me to judge her for her own.

well i guess it depends on what kind of breakdown. Didnt really wanna bug you by asking for details. Women seem to have more intense breakdowns from what i've seen.

 

[Dak]

"Breakdown" is an extremely vague term. One can have a case of severe depression, a psychotic break, a manic break......

 

[zabu of nΩd]

I was being intentionally vague.

Anyway, she's already become an emotional wreck. Started off with her wanting to have serious talks about long-term commitment less than 3 weeks into seeing each other. At least it didn't take long for the absurdity of that notion to become obvious to her, given her mental state. I guess I should be flattered that she feels so strongly about me?

She says she wants to get together again in the near future, but needs a break for now. She's pretty active in a treatment program, so hopefully she can work her shit out. Idk. I'm fine getting back to single life, but now I have these feelings for her, and this silly hope that it'll work out somehow. Blech.

 

[CiG]

Started off with her wanting to have serious talks about long-term commitment less than 3 weeks into seeing each other.

I guess I should be flattered that she feels so strongly about me?

More likely a manifestation of needing stability as well as some form of clinginess. Both are very common traits with females who suffer from personality disorders.

Sorry it went to hell so quickly, but to look at it from another perspective, you haven't sacrificed too much even though it sounds like it had the potential to ruin your life say, a year down the road.

 

[Carpe Mortem]

It's actually better off for her more than anyone that it not work out. Your feelings may be strong now, but yeah, a year down the road when she's freaking out that you don't actually love her because you looked at a magazine with another woman on it, you'd end up breaking her crazy little heart, and possibly reverse years of therapy.