Males and Females

[no country for old wainds]

that’s even worse, better to be an incel than a poof

 

[CiG]

Since you've been both and can compare, I'll take your word for it.

 

[arg]

God damn this girl doesn’t wash her mouth or pussy when we do it, her breath smells like garlic and her pussy smells like week old mackerel. Her asshole is actually her best smelling hole

how can I tell her without hurting her feelings

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

Did the first time not tip you off???

Or was her hygiene actually passable at that time?

Either way, that's a #1 dealbreaker to me. Time to move on. I understand that you ain't going to smell like a rose 24/7/365, but ffs...no grown man or woman should be gag-inducing during coitus

 

[Slammed]

Hang a toilet bowl freshener from your tongue, through a piercing if it suits, if she doesn't get the hint at least you'll be doing your bit to help others.

 

[arg]

I forgot to mention, this girl works at my office, just hired a month ago actually, and I believe our boss will try to bang her because he’s making her go on a 3 day “business trip” with him. Fuck me

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

I forgot to mention, this girl works at my office, just hired a month ago actually, and I believe our boss will try to bang her because he’s making her go on a 3 day “business trip” with him. Fuck me

Yikes, so it ain't like you can just drop her and then move on as if nothing happened.

Well, I guess it's ol boss boy's turn to learn about her abysmal hygiene.

 

[Onder]

haha working on that
it was surprisingly not difficult

get food
she offers weed and we smoke it in a park
hang at her place
play motionless in white
make vodka crans
Hey wanna see my tattoos and I take off my shirt
Hey I have some too and she takes off her shirt
Want a back massage, sure
How about an ass massage, ok
Can I lick it, if you like

On the first attempt, wtf

This is poetry. Good job.

 

[arg]

This is poetry. Good job.

Hey bro I missed my triennial Czech visit, need to go back this year

anyway I figured out fucking a real girl is almost exactly the same as fucking a hooker, except you save some bucks but get a less hot girl

on the 4th time fucking her she was lying on top of me saying emotional feelings shit and i wanted to run

I’m gonna keep screwing her though, until it fizzles out by itself, or the boss finds out and things go to shit

 

[CiG]

she was lying on top of me saying emotional feelings shit

I’m gonna keep screwing her though, until it fizzles out by itself

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

some of you folks just...make me weep for humanity

 

[terminaldesolation78]

jesus fuck

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

some of you folks just...make me weep for humanity

https://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/threads/males-and-females.605240/page-442

https://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/threads/males-and-females.605240/page-443

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

so, when we have problems in our sex lives, this might be why
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201208/the-real-problem-porn-its-bad-sex

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

if i ever get married, i think i'll might take my wife's last name
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/...eir-wives-last-names?utm_source=pocket-newtab

 

[arg]

so the coworker i was screwing got fired 2 weeks ago because she would not screw the boss. hr made up a fake reason to fire her because they are ass kissers of the boss. i visited her in her hometown 1 week ago and screwed her a few times. i probably will visit her again

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

so the coworker i was screwing got fired 2 weeks ago because she would not screw the boss. hr made up a fake reason to fire her because they are ass kissers of the boss. i visited her in her hometown 1 week ago and screwed her a few times. i probably will visit her again

so
now that she's not your co-worker anymore
no one's gonna be able to fire you for fucking her
kinda sad about her getting fired though

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

so the coworker i was screwing got fired 2 weeks ago because she would not screw the boss. hr made up a fake reason to fire her because they are ass kissers of the boss. i visited her in her hometown 1 week ago and screwed her a few times. i probably will visit her again

does she still smell like the bottom of an old shoe?

 

[arg]

Lol I had gotten used to it but she did wash up a little

 

[Obscureinfinity]

My hair thins even more at the mere idea that CiG has been laid in the past 15 years.