Males and Females

[Satanstoenail]

TI'm extremely surprised that only krampus agreed with me. I guess we just have a different idea of friendship than the horde of people who think it's totally cool to bang your friends ex/sister/brother/mother/father and still remain good friends. Each to his own I guess.

Coming in late here, but I pretty much agree with you also. Certain circumstances or personalities can allow for this sort of thing to happen and for everyone to be relatively fine, but usually it's going to cause jealousy and resentment and kill friendships quickly. It's base level human reaction. Zeph also pretty much agreed with you btw.

I only just read Andy's post tonight, and the thing that struck me with it was how quickly he wrote off this supposed 'best friend' of his because he was pissed about the situation after finding out. How does he know that this guy didn't still have feelings for her? Surely Andy's best move would be to understand that his best friend is pissed instead of going 'oh well, fuck him'. Of course the guy is going to be hurt by the situation. It's his ex and his best friend.

What makes your argument so abrasive and difficult to agree with is how you seem to harbor a viewpoint that having sex with someone is the greatest dishonor you can do to that person's relative. It's nothing I'll ever agree with, because I consider it to be a natural part of life. As long as intercourse is taking place consensually between two adults, I don't see why it should or how it can harm anyone who didn't take part.

It's quite obviously got more to do with than just the sex.

I'll do you one up, I'd rather my sister have sex with one of my friends than a total stranger. I know my friends' histories.

I wouldn't want most of my friends having anything romantic to do with my sister because I know their histories.

 

[damnromulans]

I think a lot of it has to do with what you feel your options are and how confident you are about yourself in the dating world. And then there are all those weirdos who like to be friends first.

 

[The Ozzman]

Coming in late here, but I pretty much agree with you also. Certain circumstances or personalities can allow for this sort of thing to happen and for everyone to be relatively fine, but usually it's going to cause jealousy and resentment and kill friendships quickly. It's base level human reaction. Zeph also pretty much agreed with you btw.

Same rationale behind having sex with coworkers or dating coworkers. It can and never will be 'just sex' and if you date it won't be normal at all afterwards, especially if you have to interact with them somehow.

 

[V.V.V.V.V.]

@Satanstoenail, I didn't immediately say "fuck him", his response to finding out was to tell his ex that he couldn't be friends with either of us if this was going to be a thing. I think that demonstrates a real lack of understanding about what's going on. It's not like I snagged up his ex 2 weeks after they dated; they'd been dating for like 6 months, he moved across the country (and in some conversations with him prior to moving, he had mentioned part of it was to get away from the emotions that dating her caused him due to their incompatibility) and they'd been separated for several months at that point. I seriously didn't think he had any more romantic feelings for her. I don't think I really have to "ask permission" in that case, but maybe I'm being insensitive.

Also, he left me a voicemail the other night that said "we're still like brothers and I'll always love and respect you but for as long as you're with her, we can't be friends."

 

[Matt]

Didn't read much into your first post, but it depends on if you want to sacrifice a friendship for a chick. Despite how arbitrary his ultimatum might seem, friends are better investments than women IMO.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

@Satanstoenail, I didn't immediately say "fuck him", his response to finding out was to tell his ex that he couldn't be friends with either of us if this was going to be a thing. I think that demonstrates a real lack of understanding about what's going on. It's not like I snagged up his ex 2 weeks after they dated; they'd been dating for like 6 months, he moved across the country (and in some conversations with him prior to moving, he had mentioned part of it was to get away from the emotions that dating her caused him due to their incompatibility) and they'd been separated for several months at that point. I seriously didn't think he had any more romantic feelings for her. I don't think I really have to "ask permission" in that case, but maybe I'm being insensitive.

Also, he left me a voicemail the other night that said "we're still like brothers and I'll always love and respect you but for as long as you're with her, we can't be friends."

If anything, it sounds like he's more mad at her than anything. I find his response silly. If he loves and respect you, why can't you guys still be friends?

 

[Onder]

He's clearly a douche.

 

[Zephyrus]

My perspective is that any woman who is an ex is a whore in the mind of the ex-boyfriend, and thus anyone she associates with is persona non grata. If it's a friend, he's not a friend anymore. It's how people (especially insecure people) deal with breakups. They invent whatever they can to justify in their minds that the person they used to date was the sum of all vices. Those who might disagree with that interpretation (i.e. someone now dating/banging said female) are especially threatening to what the ex-boyfriend NEEDS to believe in order to move on and find someone new. It's a part of getting over someone: justifying to oneself that the previous partner was a total mistake.

 

[Master_Yoda77]

This is how I figured I'd always take being brokenup with, but I haven't had that experience yet. I just wine em, dine em, and sixty-nine em.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac2Nq33SEx4

 

[Zephyrus]

In other words, one's best friend dating the person you are no longer dating is a threat to neat categorization of "ex-girlfriend bad, friend good".

 

[Zephyrus]

Which is consistent with my theory that exes cannot be friends. Convincing oneself that a former partner is evil is a coping mechanism.

 

[Nephilim96]

Which is consistent with my theory that exes cannot be friends. Convincing oneself that a former partner is evil is a coping mechanism.

I disagree with you there (and I'm sure guys like KafkaX do too). I think there's a possibility you can form a friendship, but it all depends on how the breakup happens... but 99.99% of the time, breakups aren't pretty. So basically, I think it can happen, but it usually can't/won't.

 

[Vimana]

It also depends on the reason you guys broke up. It's one thing if they got drunk and beat the shit out of you, but it's another if you guys just found yourselves not clicking romantically.

 

[Matt]

It's hard but not impossible, like Vimanna said it just depends on how and why the relationship ended. My most recent ex and I talk sometimes because we know each other so well, no background or anything is needed when discussing problems. It's good to have that perspective. But we do not hang out or do anything aside from talk occasionally.

 

[MasterOLightning]

I think it's easier to stay friends with an ex if you have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy about future romantic relationships. That's a lot easier if you don't have the same circle of friends and aren't going to run into any gossip.

 

[Onder]

Was at the girl's place yesterday and stuck my peen to her mouth boom boom and came on her face and then I played with her boobs and waited a bit for my dick to respawn and then I fucked her and still came too fucking early which was kinda awkward. Took like 4 liquid shits at her place yesterday as well. Now I'm at my dad's place listening to Janáček's Suite for String Orchestra JW 6/2.

 

[The Butt]

To be honest... Ive always believed that when it comes to my male friends, exes are immediately off-limits.

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

Personally I couldn't give a fuck who said chick is related to I'll still bang her if the opportunity arises.

 

[Onder]

Personally I couldn't give a fuck who said chick is related to I'll still bang her if the opportunity arises.

If I saw her family was full of dirty village gypsies then I'd fucking take my time deciding, even if the girl looked clean, clever and hot. One mate from my neighborhood fell in love with this silly little bitch that looks all cute and shit, but I looked up her relatives and "ew". No wonder she got pregnant when she was 15.

 

[The Butt]

Gypsies are the fucking worst. They can take their gypsy weddings and child pregnancies and tax evasion and fuck off.