Males and Females

I was hangin with a girl I know from a bar/club and we decided to go on some sort of vague date. I think it's supposed to be ironic or something idk. Anyway I got her number and we've been texting since Saturday. I told her about my recent purchase (flesh light) and I haven't heard from her since she said "yea cool" lol. So the fleshlight is amazing and really is working for me on so many levels. This will be part of my review on amazon
 
Krow said:
Both of you could just take your noses out of each other's assholes...
Click to expand...

This reminded me of something.

My girlfriend and I are on a rocky slope because women are complex creatures, and I sense an impending breakup tomorrow. In fact, I'm 99% sure it will be the last time I'll ever see her again.

Anyway, I went down on this girl about a month ago while she was on all fours. It was an awkward angle, but it was such an intense session that my nose ended up lodged into her butthole and I could only breathe through my mouth. Well my mouth was kind of busy too, so I was slowly suffocating. Even with brief moments of breaks to catch my breath, it was still getting crazy, and my neck began hurting something awful at the end so finally I pulled my face out of her behind and exhaled super loudly as if I just came up from the ocean after a 10m dive without equipment. She later told me that she thought the exhale was one of the hottest things she's ever heard.

I'm gonna miss her.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nephilim96, zabu of nΩd, Funerary_Doom and 4 others
3HnJg43.gif
 
  • Like
Reactions: TechnicalBarbarity
Manic Ferocity said:
So, my Gehennah elitism on OKC is working wonders. Now on the third and prettiest one who started off calling me an asshole and then, as usual, kept talking to me. Now she's throwing herself at me in a round about way like the other two. I've been avoiding going through with any of these women I've been talking to but I'm gonna have a hard time not doing it with this one.
Click to expand...

Just met her last night. Gorgeous 31 year old Heathen woman covered in anti-Christian and pagan tattoos. Super fun, intelligent, and opinionated. Got to mess around with her, but we're holding off on sex. Regardless, this is the hardest I've hit it off with anyone in years.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nephilim96, Funerary_Doom and CiG
One thing I've realized with women, at least working class women, is that because they aren't repressed and they've usually always been very straightforward with their sexuality and around men who also are, they're kind of terrified of men who seem repressed, they're naturally disgusted by them. Given the nature of the human species, it's hard to respect that.
 
-CyanideChrist- said:
My girlfriend and I are on a rocky slope because women are complex creatures, and I sense an impending breakup tomorrow. In fact, I'm 99% sure it will be the last time I'll ever see her again.

I'm gonna miss her.
Click to expand...

Well it happened. I'm a fucking mess right now. Goddamn it. I just went through an almost equally rough break-up just over a year ago for similar reasons. What the fuck. Even though I had a full week to prepare myself for this, I simply wasn't ready..

And seriously, women of UM. If a man is willing to shove his fucking nose up your butt, isn't he a keeper?!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Lasse Lammert
humans are sick!!
Replies
32
Views
2K
Bar
Mancha
M
Krilons Resa
Sex Dictionary
Replies
7
Views
743
RC
Ayeka
A
VEHEMENCE
Everything you need to know about making sex fun. (shared with loved ones)
Replies
4
Views
718
Vehemence
satanicnugz
S
Dustin
UPDATE: The death and ressurection of Katagory V?
Replies
7
Views
2K
Katagory V
drum_addict_48
D
Executioner213
Is it wrong of me?
Replies
17
Views
1K
Bar
Executioner213
E
Top Bottom