Males and Females

[CiG]

inhale her farts and hold it in like a hit of weed

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Started talking to this mistress on Fetlife recently. I'm hoping it ends up turning into a meetup at some point, unfortunately she lives across the country so it would take a little bit of planning for that to happen. I've wanted to be dominated since I was 14 and unfortunately the few girls I've been with have been vanilla or on the more submissive side. What CiG said about it being exhausting is true, it's like I feel like I have to change who I am just to enjoy getting my dick sucked. I don't care about getting my fucking dick sucked or sticking my dick in some girls ass. I want to lick a pair of high heels, have my face trampled, be degraded, be ridden like a pony while my ass is being beaten, inhale her farts and hold it in like a hit of weed, now that's the shit that gets me going!

lurk less

 

[mutantllama]

I'll try!

 

[The Ozzman]

Just make sure your mistress' husband doesn't find out

 

[CiG]

Most mistresses in my experience are in open relationships.

 

[EspaDa]

That's exactly what I thought.

 

[The Ozzman]

Most mistresses in my experience are in open relationships.

That was the joke

"My wife's boyfriend" etc

 

[CiG]

That was the joke

"My wife's boyfriend" etc

Oh okay I didn't get it, since it's the same thing everyone I know says to me about the mistresses I've seen in my life lol.

 

[CF87]

Maybe the mistress will let the mutated lama inhale her farts, inhale and get high on the farts.

 

[The Butt]

Maybe the mistress will let the mutated lama inhale her farts, inhale and get high on the farts.

Beyblades, let it rip.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Still trying to decide if this girl I'm dating is right for me.

There's a fiercely independent side of me which hates "neediness" in any form, and she definitely has a neediness which I find off-putting sometimes (frequently texting me stuff like "I miss you", "can't wait to see you again" etc) but I'm wondering why I feel that way, and whether there are different types of neediness, some of which are less oppressive than others. I consider my parents needy in an oppressive way, for example, and perhaps I confuse their kind of neediness with hers.

At the present moment, I don't feel oppressed by her. She's overstepped boundaries a few times, but each time she's done so she's quickly stepped back and apologized for it. I have plenty of space overall, and when we're together I don't feel like I have to pretend to be someone I'm not.

I'm often more myself around her than around most people I know. I think I have a crazy side which disturbs a lot of people, and she's pretty cool with it because she has a crazy side too. I like to talk about weird shit, and she does too.

I still have Dak's caution about differences in values in mind, and we definitely have such differences, but it's hard to tell how much conventional values matter in a relationship between two unconventional people. Maybe we both have a desire to share our weirdness with someone which transcends our conventional values.

 

[CiG]

Are you able to express any of these things with her?

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Well I told her I needed space during one of our drama moments, and she accepted that, but I'm not as candid with her as I am in my previous post. Is anyone really that candid in a relationship? It seems like there's all kinds of shit people avoid saying to their SOs to avoid causing unnecessary hurt feelings.

 

[CiG]

I can't speak for anybody else but yes I happen to be that candid. It might be why I have a long past of rocky failed relationships but I believe it's best to burst that blister rather than to nurture it until it actually hurts you.

That you self-censor your deepest feelings and desires with someone you also want to be with is a sign that you are being oppressed in some sense by the relationship and you should probably take the leap into honesty, it will either ruin the relationship or make it fundamentally immune to internal sabotage, imo.

 

[CiG]

Essentially what you're doing (and I know from experience during a time when I wasn't so candid) is indulging her neediness while simultaneously nurturing your own resentment at how needy she is. It's a pretty strong recipe for disaster down the road.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Got any more cold water from that fire hose?

I've never thought about this shit before, so I'll need time to process it. That fiercely independent side of myself also tells me that neediness and love are closely related, and that maybe I'm just too much of a callous asshole to fall headfirst in love. What would I do then, warn every girl I date that I'm a callous asshole who may never fall in love? Something doesn't add up there.

 

[CiG]

Well first of all, stop redefining your own needs as callousness because that kind of self-pitying negativism will only hold you back from ever progressing beyond the realm of dating. Secondly, neediness can be simply an expression of love, but love can destroy once it's allowed to become paternalistic (which is what you're currently allowing it to become).

It has to be tempered and since you're not needy (or at least you have a strong desire for down-time and privacy) you're in a unique position to, if you're honest with her, set up boundaries that will in turn actually help her to become a better person (or simply leave you) but that's the risk you have to take if you want to be in a healthy relationship rather than a twisted partnership wherein you sell her enablism and she sells you her ever-inflating unhealthy attitude towards your space.

As Patrice O'Neal said; be the truth and everything else will roll off your back. You might be surprised by what transpires.

As an aside, I'm not suggesting you become some kind of MGTOW coward but rather that you either separate yourself from a potential mess or actually have the backbone to improve the relationship.

 

[Carpe Mortem]

He gives solid advice. My partner is a bit needy, and I've just had to ice cold shut him down on occasion. He gets cranky about it but also gets over it, and my need for alone time is secured. Some people just would rather do their thing, doesn't indicate a lack of attraction or affection, just a general lack of interest in dedicating all your energy to humans when there's hobbies to be enjoyed.

 

[Carpe Mortem]

The whole spending every moment together thing is usually a bit mental. We die alone after all. All people should enjoy their solitude with relish. What matters is that when you do want to socialize it's predominantly an interest in doing so with her.

 

[CF87]

He gives solid advice. My partner is a bit needy, and I've just had to ice cold shut him down on occasion. He gets cranky about it but also gets over it, and my need for alone time is secured. Some people just would rather do their thing, doesn't indicate a lack of attraction or affection, just a general lack of interest in dedicating all your energy to humans when there's hobbies to be enjoyed.

isnt that suppose to be somewhat the other way around, i never seen a NeedyGuy.com TV commercial before, if you get done from work or something do you not get take out food or something enough, what does he need ?, who is this fuckin guy