Males and Females

[Blurry_Dreams]

My new girlfriend is in love with my pheromones

She's OCD and seemingly bi-polar
Her 2 poles seem to be
A) totally head over heels in love with me
And
B) wanting to kill me

Oh, wait I've been through this before

At least she's not beating me with guaranteed-to-be-unbreakable umbrellas...yet...

this girl went to Louisia, thank God

 

[Master_Yoda77]

Still dating the same girl. Who woulda thunkit?

 

[SentinelSlain]

Is she gay?

 

[Master_Yoda77]

DAMN that post didn't age.

Single as fuck and ready to rail a line a blow of a strippers cunt. Who's down? Ozz? TechBarb? No?

 

[CiG]

Sucks to hear mate.

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

I have been having an on-again-off-again relationship with a woman who is Tom Brady's cousin

Really not anywhere near as awesome as a hard core football fan might imagine

The off-again parts are because this woman is a total bitch

EDIT
Really don't give a shit about football
If I gave a shit about football I would have been bragging about banging Tom Brady's cousin a long time ago

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

Is this another one of your crack induced fantasies?

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

Is she gay?

this girl went to Louisia, thank God

yes, she is actually
she seemed to be in love with my penis for a while
then she ditched my dick to go back to eating pussy

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

Is this another one of your crack induced fantasies?

no, i really was dating a woman who has been divorced 5 times
her 5 ex husbands hate her now
she hasn't been able to get married a 6th time because she's now so much of a bitch she can't get a 6th guy to marry her
she was thinking about me being husband number 6 but she's a bitch and me getting married sounds like a bad idea anyway
her maiden name is Brady and she loves football and she tells anyone that cares that NFL star Tom Brady is her cousin
although, now that i'm thinking about it, Tom being her cousin might be a fantasy on her part

 

[Master_Yoda77]

Went on my first date in over 2 years. I wore a shirt with a dude puking as the art, talked about smuggling drugs through TSA from Central America, how the Lord of the Rings rules and the Hobbit films sucked, and Shrek memes.

Good time. Oh, I had 3 shots and 2 beers in like 2 hours and now I'm lit AF

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

Went on my first date in over 2 years. I wore a shirt with a dude puking as the art, talked about smuggling drugs through TSA from Central America, how the Lord of the Rings rules and the Hobbit films sucked, and Shrek memes. Good time.

that actually sounds like a really fun date

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

Went on my first date in over 2 years. Oh, I had 3 shots and 2 beers in like 2 hours and now I'm lit AF

you post in an online forum
and have trouble getting a date
so, why didn't you just use an online dating site??

congratulations on getting a little drunk

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

I wear skinny jeans (with a skinny band shirt) to emphasize my ass at the bar. No shame.

this is me on a date (how i dress for a date)
https://www.voyeurstyle.com/watch/9818/sub-guy-sucks-her-toes-at-the-busy-bus-stop/

 

[CiG]

this is me on a date (how i dress for a date)
https://www.voyeurstyle.com/watch/9818/sub-guy-sucks-her-toes-at-the-busy-bus-stop/

How long ago was this?

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

somewhere between mid 2011 and the crazy day bible-thumpers flooded chick-fil-a in support of traditional marriage on Aug 1st 2012

 

[CiG]

You still had hair lol.

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

the video ended up on Tosh.O but for some reason i can't find the video
they cut out all the parts with the black people and you only say me sucking the white girls toes with Tosh saying "did she step in something delicious?"

 

[CiG]

Blurry is UM's very own celebrity.

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

i think i actually posted the Tosh.O video at some point
i just can't find it right now

 

[CiG]

i think i actually posted the Tosh.O video at some point
i just can't find it right now