Here's where the guitar fits in:
.
.
Drum Cymbals and high end from tom's/snare/kick (really high highs)
GUITAR HERE IN THE MIDDLE
Kick drum thud, Bass guitar, tom thud (really low lows)
The guitar is a MID instrument. It was made that way from the first time anybody ever made one. The drums cover the highs and the lows, the bass guitar fills everything in from the really low stuff to right before where the guitar is suppose to fit. You can't throw a ton of bass and highs on a guitar tone and expect it to cut through all of that stuff that is already there.
You just CANNOT compete with cymbals. If you try, you're going to pierce the ever loving shit out of your ears. You cannot compete with the bass guitar, you'll never win, it's got way more low end than a guitar will ever have. So there's only one more spot of spectrum- the middle. Stop trying to make your guitar sound badass by itself and try being a team player for once, make it cut through without being shrill and harsh, and listen to the bass guitar when you're playing together. Try and make your tone pick up right after the bass leaves off, frequency wise. A lot of people don't realize that they will probably hate the way their guitar sound by itself, but love it once they hear it with drums and bass guitar. If you hate it by itself, it's right. Just a thought...
~006