Metal Bands That Suck...8-]]
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The Ozzman
Melted by feels
CiG
The Veils of Negative Existence
crimsonfloyd
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Mort Divine
Shrine Maiden of the In-Crowd
CiG
The Veils of Negative Existence
Baroque
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HamburgerBoy
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CiG
The Veils of Negative Existence
HamburgerBoy
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Asphyx, holy shit what a boring band. van Drunen totally wasted his talents there.
Bathory. At his best, he could pull off a good Slayer clone.
Cloven Hoof, third-rate garbage whose popularity defies me. Their first album is a total mess and A Sultan's Ransom is sterile schlocky Maiden-worship. Their new garbage is only slightly worse.
Conception, they basically pioneered the power/prog style of just chugging one syncopated chord endlessly as a backdrop to flowery shit melodies.
Death Angel, they have exactly one great song, Voracious Souls, that's it.
Emperor, worthless discography.
Exumer, there are hundreds of obscure thrash bands more original and better than them.
Fifth Angel, I used to at least dig their first album but it's so safe-sounding now, maybe three songs with legitimately good hooks and that's about it.
Bathory. At his best, he could pull off a good Slayer clone.
Cloven Hoof, third-rate garbage whose popularity defies me. Their first album is a total mess and A Sultan's Ransom is sterile schlocky Maiden-worship. Their new garbage is only slightly worse.
Conception, they basically pioneered the power/prog style of just chugging one syncopated chord endlessly as a backdrop to flowery shit melodies.
Death Angel, they have exactly one great song, Voracious Souls, that's it.
Emperor, worthless discography.
Exumer, there are hundreds of obscure thrash bands more original and better than them.
Fifth Angel, I used to at least dig their first album but it's so safe-sounding now, maybe three songs with legitimately good hooks and that's about it.
HamburgerBoy
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Gargoyle, the Japanese one, just one of dozens of smorgasbord J-metal bands throwing random ingredients onto a bland metal plate. Good lead guitarist doesn't save them, every album I've heard has a couple good songs in the speed/power/thrash vicinity, and greater amounts of lolrandom shit.
Hobbs' Angel of Death, see Exumer.
Immortal, one good album (their first one), otherwise very bland from what I've heard.
Incubus, because Burns-era Sepultura wasn't dry and chuggy enough, we need to praise an even less interesting version of that.
Jag Panzer post-80s.
Kreator, for the most part. Yes, Pleasure to Kill is masterful. Other than that, hard to give a shit. They weren't pioneers beyond that one album, they were late on the scene compared to Destruction and Sodom, let alone the Bay Area. Endless Pain is a trivial album, Terrible Certainty and Extreme Aggression show improved technical abilities at the expense of energy, Coma of Souls is more watered-down than what even Testament was doing at the time. Renewal and Cause for Conflict are a little underrated by fans, at the very least they were mild experiments and showed ambition, but then you have 20+ years of sucking it to follow. Fuck Kreator.
Lulz Rockit.
Hobbs' Angel of Death, see Exumer.
Immortal, one good album (their first one), otherwise very bland from what I've heard.
Incubus, because Burns-era Sepultura wasn't dry and chuggy enough, we need to praise an even less interesting version of that.
Jag Panzer post-80s.
Kreator, for the most part. Yes, Pleasure to Kill is masterful. Other than that, hard to give a shit. They weren't pioneers beyond that one album, they were late on the scene compared to Destruction and Sodom, let alone the Bay Area. Endless Pain is a trivial album, Terrible Certainty and Extreme Aggression show improved technical abilities at the expense of energy, Coma of Souls is more watered-down than what even Testament was doing at the time. Renewal and Cause for Conflict are a little underrated by fans, at the very least they were mild experiments and showed ambition, but then you have 20+ years of sucking it to follow. Fuck Kreator.
Lulz Rockit.
CiG
The Veils of Negative Existence
HamburgerBoy
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Malice, don't know why they have a reputation as USPM when they're a clone of mid-80s Priest's least inspired moments.
Manilla Road, goes without saying that Mark Shelton is a hack of a songwriter.
Meliah Rage, had to relisten to their first two albums recently and it's no wonder that plebs thought thrash was creatively bankrupt with major labels signing bands like them. First album is barely even thrash, it's like if you took a mid-tempo trad metal band and just told them to incorporate a few slow thrash riffs occasionally and to trim the level of melody down to the level of a late-80s Anthrax album.
Mortification.
Mr. Bungle, I have a soft spot for Carousel and a few other songs, otherwise laughable (but not funny). Good stuff for when you only listen to metal and need to branch out, otherwise Oingo Boingo makes them irrelevant.
Nuclear Assault, after the first album. Crossover is shit, "mosh thrash" is shit, and these guys didn't even have the manly gruffness to make that kind of style work.
Onslaught, their songs make Metallica and Iron Maiden look positively compact. Steve Grimmett's vocals are the only good thing to ever happen to them. Textbook in-crowd thrash for people that don't actually enjoy thrash metal.
Manilla Road, goes without saying that Mark Shelton is a hack of a songwriter.
Meliah Rage, had to relisten to their first two albums recently and it's no wonder that plebs thought thrash was creatively bankrupt with major labels signing bands like them. First album is barely even thrash, it's like if you took a mid-tempo trad metal band and just told them to incorporate a few slow thrash riffs occasionally and to trim the level of melody down to the level of a late-80s Anthrax album.
Mortification.
Mr. Bungle, I have a soft spot for Carousel and a few other songs, otherwise laughable (but not funny). Good stuff for when you only listen to metal and need to branch out, otherwise Oingo Boingo makes them irrelevant.
Nuclear Assault, after the first album. Crossover is shit, "mosh thrash" is shit, and these guys didn't even have the manly gruffness to make that kind of style work.
Onslaught, their songs make Metallica and Iron Maiden look positively compact. Steve Grimmett's vocals are the only good thing to ever happen to them. Textbook in-crowd thrash for people that don't actually enjoy thrash metal.
CiG
The Veils of Negative Existence
HamburgerBoy
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Persuader, basically melothrash for closeted groovephobic power metal fans.
Pharaoh, what the fuck was with this hype? Tim Aymar yarls like the Disturbed guy, the guitar tone is synthetic-sounding as fuck and mostly plays fruity (and often stolen) melodies, just tons of gallop-gallop and a "DUDE OLDSCHOOL" reputation is all it takes I guess. Bullet for My Valentine literally has stuff about on par with them.
Portal, memedeath, muh esotericism.
Queensryche post-Promised Land, the most abrupt fall from glory in metal's history.
Redemption, I'm glad Alder got this Dream Theater pop-prog-metal out of his system without attaching it to the Fates Warning name.
Rigor Mortis. WOW FAST, too bad you couldn't write a riff to save your life. Anyone that thinks this is death/thrash is clinically retarded, just another third-rate speed/thrash band with undue reputation thanks to a major record deal and a band member connected to other, more famous (but still shit) bands. iirc the Freaks EP has a good song somewhere though.
Rotting Christ, and the rest of the Greek scene tbh, flowery melodramatic crap with a production/aesthetic gimmick.
Sabbat (UK), more overlength compounded by a tendency to rehash the same fundamental riffing units over and over. Walkyier can't save those songs. Sneap's productions are more interesting than his riffs.
Sacred Reich, the definition of whiffle thrash.
Sieges Even. They had a brief respite with their mid-90s period, Sophisticated/Uneven where they played a sort of progged-up Van Halen-y shred metal/rock that was actually pretty good. Otherwise, their first album is the definition of plagiarism in metal, the second one is one of my all-time least favorites, and everything else is sleep-inducing.
Pharaoh, what the fuck was with this hype? Tim Aymar yarls like the Disturbed guy, the guitar tone is synthetic-sounding as fuck and mostly plays fruity (and often stolen) melodies, just tons of gallop-gallop and a "DUDE OLDSCHOOL" reputation is all it takes I guess. Bullet for My Valentine literally has stuff about on par with them.
Portal, memedeath, muh esotericism.
Queensryche post-Promised Land, the most abrupt fall from glory in metal's history.
Redemption, I'm glad Alder got this Dream Theater pop-prog-metal out of his system without attaching it to the Fates Warning name.
Rigor Mortis. WOW FAST, too bad you couldn't write a riff to save your life. Anyone that thinks this is death/thrash is clinically retarded, just another third-rate speed/thrash band with undue reputation thanks to a major record deal and a band member connected to other, more famous (but still shit) bands. iirc the Freaks EP has a good song somewhere though.
Rotting Christ, and the rest of the Greek scene tbh, flowery melodramatic crap with a production/aesthetic gimmick.
Sabbat (UK), more overlength compounded by a tendency to rehash the same fundamental riffing units over and over. Walkyier can't save those songs. Sneap's productions are more interesting than his riffs.
Sacred Reich, the definition of whiffle thrash.
Sieges Even. They had a brief respite with their mid-90s period, Sophisticated/Uneven where they played a sort of progged-up Van Halen-y shred metal/rock that was actually pretty good. Otherwise, their first album is the definition of plagiarism in metal, the second one is one of my all-time least favorites, and everything else is sleep-inducing.
HamburgerBoy
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CiG
The Veils of Negative Existence
Satanstoenail
My Larpstyle determines my Derpstyle
HamburgerBoy
Active Member
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HamburgerBoy
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I can almost endorse this. If they put out a couple more albums as bland as the last two, I'll agree.
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