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. What's wrong with him?
monoxide_child
New Metal Member
- Jul 30, 2008
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"cutting" is usually not about attempting suicide
most of the time, it's about feeling worthless, useless, powerless, faceless, invisible, sexually rejected, etc etc etc
when you're cutting yourself, it's not the same as a "pain addict" who gets their entire body covered in piercings/tattoos
when you're cutting yourself it's about re-aquiring control, you yourself control the blade, you control exactly where to cut, how deep/shallow, how long/short the length of the inciscion, you're in control over which type of instrument to use
you're in control of how long the sewing needle stays inside your arm
by cutting the blood vessels or cutting between them, you control how much/little bloodflow there is
some people avoid the bleeding-to-death by "cutting the nerves instead of the blood vessels" for them, "cutting the nerves" is much more a stabbing/burning than cutting, it's much more painfull than ripping open the bloodvessels, and "the phisical pain makes the emotional pain go away"
in other people, they will actually come sort of close to bleeding out, even though they're not trying to die, for them, seeing the blood gush-like-a-gyser helps, the wet, sticky, tactile sensation of feeling the blood from your forearm slide across the palm of the hand is even more exhilirating than anything else that person will ever experience, a very intense almost spiritual experience,
but most of these people are NOT actually trying to die
they want to live, they just have fucked-up shit going on with their lives and the cutting is a coping mechanisim for mental trauma
like "foxhole religion"
even some of the "cutters" that actually die are not actually trying to kill themselves
unknown
fuck ftagn
Dak
mentat
unknown
fuck ftagn
Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
Going to try to go off Adderall this week. I suspect it might be perpetuating the problem by down-regulating my brain's dopamine production, which is a lot like what happened this summer when I was drinking way too much coffee and energy drinks during my summer job, and contributed to my cognitive deficiencies. ADD meds help focus, but at the expense of your brain's ability to generate that focus on its own (pharmacological axiom!).
I realized that the best I've felt the past two months was just after the weekend a month ago when I visited Schmidt and Bleull. The fact that it was the only time I wasn't on ANY medication (just came off antidepressants and about to start ADD meds) may have been meaningful.
Here's to hoping I don't cave and pop it in desperation. I have a meeting with a professor today to defend the in-class essay I wrote as part of my Greek exam last Friday. If I'm feeling like a zombie it may be very tempting. I should probably keep this stuff at home.
I realized that the best I've felt the past two months was just after the weekend a month ago when I visited Schmidt and Bleull. The fact that it was the only time I wasn't on ANY medication (just came off antidepressants and about to start ADD meds) may have been meaningful.
Here's to hoping I don't cave and pop it in desperation. I have a meeting with a professor today to defend the in-class essay I wrote as part of my Greek exam last Friday. If I'm feeling like a zombie it may be very tempting. I should probably keep this stuff at home.
Cronopio
Glorious Imperator
I'm on Sertralin, which has been the case since roughly 2008. Before that I was on Zoloft and before that I took Fontex (fluoxetine) starting the second year in high school, which was 1999. I feel great, baby!
No, actually, I don't. I need something else. This shit isn't enough.
No, actually, I don't. I need something else. This shit isn't enough.
Master_Yoda77
Juggalo
Lazy as fuck this past weekend. Not giving a shit about this squib paper I'm writing, not giving a shit about any of my current homework. Just want to watch TV and eat food all day.
Whatever, I'll snap out of this shortly.
Whatever, I'll snap out of this shortly.
ASD
observing the sabbath
Krow
Garbage Connoisseur
Krigloch the Furious
Pants full of poo
Dak
mentat
Depends on what your body type/objective you have. I just caught AE bootcut relaxed jeans on sale for 25$.
Krigloch the Furious
Pants full of poo
Dak
mentat
Cronopio
Glorious Imperator
Dude, you drink like an alcoholic. People have different ways of dealing with life.
monoxide_child
New Metal Member
- Jul 30, 2008
- 6,210
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Onder is the one saying this??
really??
i would have expected this exact post from KafkaX or maybe Zyphyrus saying that we should use perscription pills in they way they were designed to be used instead of using perscriptions to get high
but for freaking alchoholic Onder to make this post seems a little out of character
AllShallFall
Senior Member
KafkaX
Mr. Self Destruct
Zephyrus
Tyrants and Slaves
Speaking of which, Day 2 off of Adderall, and I feel even worse. I sat in my office for three hours and managed to read one article, which I could barely process mentally. I had to leave and walk/drive around town for a few hours just to stop going crazy.
I told myself to try going a week, just to see if I end up feeling better. Otherwise, I just might have to commit myself to this medicine for the long-term.
That or I'll just start taking it again tomorrow morning.
I told myself to try going a week, just to see if I end up feeling better. Otherwise, I just might have to commit myself to this medicine for the long-term.
That or I'll just start taking it again tomorrow morning.
