Onder's chilli (*21.1.2014)

[Onder]

I have to warn you. What I'm about to present to you is both megasad and megacute. Basically most of the seeds planted on 21st are dead and haven't germinated. Only 5 did and some of them struggle. However, those that survived are the cute part and I have pictures.

The first real leaves showing up! Cry! Why not just let the tears go?

 

[Onder]

Two of the plants fucking kill but still the first stages of development are slower with these ultra-hot varieties I think. This is the one that's most lively, today.

Now meet this year's fucking cripple. It took her quite some time to get rid of the seed remnants, well, I actually did it with scissors in the end and hoped not to kill her. Now it seems the epicotyl is developing normally so we'll see how it goes.

And here's a germinating one I planted on 4th when I realized most of the Bhut Jolokias died. From now on I will only use jiffys for germination because the wet towel shit is just so 1900's.

Something wicked this way comes.

 

[Onder]

Today.

 

[Onder]

It's been a while you pieces of turds. Girls are trying even though this environment clearly isn't good for them. I buy the best soil and I throw in some really special fertilizers, if I drank those fertilizers there would be leaves coming out of my body and roots coming out of my ass and I would cum pollen but it's the LICHT. DER LICHT. There's just not enough.

Here's my most successful chinense varieties so far on the southern window. Kaval and Bhut Jolokia Peach (yes the tags are wrong on the pots). I replanted one of those right after I took the picture but then ran out of my royal motherfucking substrate.

Here's a picture of them on the floor, with two fucking tennis balls. It's their friends.

Here's some Cayennes and a Jalapeno on my room's parapet. They're doing well and growing fast. Life's striving for prosperity to be seen in my room. No tennis balls either it's just the plants fuck you. You really have to realize what's important in life. I pinched off like 30 flower buds already as well. These girls are doing good.

I really need the super-hot bitches to FUCK OUT above to fucking GET GOING.

 

[arg]

those look badass dude i'm gonna have to try some when i go there in january

 

[Onder]

those look badass dude i'm gonna have to try some when i go there in january

I doubt I will have any left in january but we'll definitely meet up for some beers.

On topic: Look at the leaves on the replanted Peach Bhut. I need to replant the others tomorrow so they have room to grow.

 

[YungVoidWitch]

im not gonna lie here i dyslexia'd the title of the thread into "Order Chilli's" and i got really excited

 

[Onder]

Long time no chilli post, but the waiting is almost over. As this shitty year is also referred to as the year of the faggot according to a chinese calendar, I ordered some zygotes of chilli plants. After some unsuccessful tries to cultivate annona trees or baobabs I'm returning to Capsicum annuum. Today they sent me an email from the shop and the seeds are on the way. I ordered two varieties. One produces peppers shaped like a penis, and the other produces peppers shaped like balls. I do have some experience with chillis so I think we should get to the stage when I post several pictures of my penises in summer. If you don't like dickpics there's always balls. Fuck you for now, I will post when they start germinating.

 

[Carpe Mortem]

Have you ever considered creating your own hybrids?

 

[Onder]

Have you ever considered creating your own hybrids?

Even though I'm very much interested in plant breeding and even had such subject in the uni, it's a tedious process and I don't really have enough space. Besides, there's a penis shaped pepper, what more could I bring to the table. A vagina pepper? Who would want to eat that.

 

[SentinelSlain]

 

[Carpe Mortem]

Even though I'm very much interested in plant breeding and even had such subject in the uni, it's a tedious process and I don't really have enough space. Besides, there's a penis shaped pepper, what more could I bring to the table. A vagina pepper? Who would want to eat that.

Cool as penile peppers are, can't you just force them to grow into a mold to achieve that result? Being such a fuckin nerd about it, I thought you might be into flavor manipulation, not just shape.

I hope you get space for the dick flavored vegetables of your dreams someday.

 

[Onder]

Cool as penile peppers are, can't you just force them to grow into a mold to achieve that result? Being such a fuckin nerd about it, I thought you might be into flavor manipulation, not just shape.

I hope you get space for the dick flavored vegetables of your dreams someday.

I care about the flavor. Anything you produce has more flavor than stuff you can buy in the asian stores, basically. In general usually the decorative varieties have boring taste and indeed I had the Zimbabwe Bird thing with really small peppers all around and they were kinda bitter if anything. From my experience the Jalapeňos have the best taste, I had Jalapeno Delicias or something and it was amazing, especially if you let it ripen all the way into beautiful red, it's extremely sweet and fruity. I don't really see the reason to harvest Jalapenos when they're green which is usually the case.

As far as the hotter chinense varieties, I like the taste of Habaneros for example, but hell, I had the Bhut jolokia peach one and it had this really strong perfume smell that you remember and then you bite into it and it obviously gives you fucking abysmal hell and since then you really have the smell connected with that pain. I never had them again because I just cut one open and smelled the perfume and said no not today it makes you wanna puke.

But anyway, I'm pretty confident in the taste of those I received in the mail today.

 

[Onder]

Seeds were planted. It's the waiting game now. I will have to buy some more pots though.

 

[Onder]

9/9 have germinated so that's a 100% fucking germination rate motherfuckers. They look kinda weak though, hopefully today's sunbath has helped. I doubt all of them will make it that would be unusual. Here's the first 7. 2 are still in the germination box I will move them tomorrow.

 

[Onder]

Presenting: THE HATEFUL EIGHT.

The first picture shows five pots and one little faggot still surviving in the peat. I decided to put it in the old Jalapenos pot on the left and see if it can survive in the shade of the old pepper in a depleted soil. I call it THE EIGHTH PEPPER. The second picture shows the weakest two that I just transplanted to them pots I bought. The pepper number 9 died and was thrown out. I didn't have enough soil nor pots for it anyway so fuck you. It is the 8.

 

[Baroque]

Any updates on the chilis? I just planted my first batch of the year yesterday

 

[Onder]

Any updates on the chilis? I just planted my first batch of the year yesterday

Yes sir 7 are doing exceptionally well. This season should yield some penises and balls oh my god yes. To my mouth please go.

Good luck. What exactly are you planting?

 

[Baroque]

Yes sir 7 are doing exceptionally well. This season should yield some penises and balls oh my god yes. To my mouth please go.

Good luck. What exactly are you planting?

Thanks. I've planted Tabasco, Jalapeno, Cayenne, Habanero (orange), Serrano, Caloro, Anaheim, Purple Bell, and Red Hot Cherry peppers. These penis and ball peppers sound entertaining to grow, where did you find seeds?

 

[Onder]

Thanks. I've planted Tabasco, Jalapeno, Cayenne, Habanero (orange), Serrano, Caloro, Anaheim, Purple Bell, and Red Hot Cherry peppers. These penis and ball peppers sound entertaining to grow, where did you find seeds?

Well the penis ones should look something like this. It's called Peter Penis Pepper. Tbh the balls ones I just made up, they're like large brown feferoni. I thought they would look good with the penises.