OT: Who gets the last word?

[Anarchy X]

Originally posted by nafnikufesin
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?"

Wahahahahaha!! Long face!! Cuz it's a HORSE!! So of COURSE it has a long face! It's a HORSE!!! That's the best joke EVER! Except for this one...

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One looks to the other and says, "Man, it's getting hot in here." And the other one looks back and says, "HOLY CRAP! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Long face... I gotta remember that one...

 

[Anarchy X]

Originally posted by bRaTpRiNcEsS
A naked blond walks into a bar holding a poodle under one arm and a 2 foot salami in the other. She sets the poodle down on the table. The bartender says, "I don't suppose you'll be needing a drink." The naked lady says...

Are we supposed to finish this one or something...?

 

[nafnikufesin]

How would you finish it?

 

[SLAYER85]

gettin a little old school with the long face joke

 

[bRaTpRiNcEsS]

Holy shit, now I'm old.

That joke is from when Judd Nelson is crawling through the ceiling in The Breakfast Club. He fell through the ceiling before he finished the joke. I've never met anyone who can finish it, but everyone I've ever known, except for you dorks, knows where it came from.

 

[ThraxDude]

Sheeeeit, bRaT.
You aren't that old. I remember when a friend of mine made a fake permission slip to see that movie....
...in the theater...
...the week it came out!

I think that movie came out in 84. So my friend was about 12.


(Yes. They actually let you into an R rated movie if you had a note from your parent's saying it was okay. At least they did in Evergreen, CO.)

 

[Riehlthing]

Since we're going tasteless jokes, anyone up for some dead baby jokes? Lawyer jokes?

 

[Anarchy X]

How do you get 10 dead babies into a small bowl?

Blender.

How do you get them back out?

Nachos.

What's more disgusting then a dead baby nailed to a tree?

A dead baby nailed to ten trees.

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lexus?

There's no Lexus in my garage.

Which is easier to unload, a truckful of bowling balls or a truckload of dead babies?

Babies. Can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.

How do you make a dead baby float?

A bottle of Vernor's and two scoops of dead baby.



Phew... btw, they DO have Vernor's outside of Michigan, right?

 

[Anarchy X]

Originally posted by Riehlthing
Since we're going tasteless jokes, anyone up for some dead baby jokes? Lawyer jokes?

I don't know any lawyer jokes...

 

[Lordlindsey]

I get the last word, dammit!!!

ENOUGH!
ENOUGH I SAID!
THIS IS MADNESS.

 

[Riehlthing]

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
Cause it was stapled to the back of the chicken.

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

What do you called a lawyer buried neck deep in sand?
Not enough sand.

What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a lawyer?
The bucket.

The dead baby jokes I remember besides the one above were posted already. Damn you!

 

[Riehlthing]

Oh yeah...another lawyer joke. Just remembered it.

A truck driver loved to see lawyers walking on the side of the road, he would swerve over and hit them. He liked the sound of the lawyer being run over. Well, one day, he sees a nun walking down the side of the highway. Her car had broken down. So, being the good citizen that he is, he picked her up to take her to the next town. About 15 minutes later, he sees a lawyer, forgetting momentarily that he has a nun with him, he swerves over. At the last second he remembers and swerves away. He thinks he misses, but he hears a weird thump. He could have sworn he missed, and the thump sounded different. Feeling bad, he tells the nun, "I'm sorry, I thought I missed him." The nun replies, "It's okay, I got him with the door."

 

[nafnikufesin]

Why are lawyers like sperm?

There's millions of them, and but only one of them has a slim chance of becoming a human being.

 

[Riehlthing]

Why don't sharks eat lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

 

[Anarchy X]

Originally posted by Riehlthing
The dead baby jokes I remember besides the one above were posted already. Damn you!

Have you guys seen the drummer/bassist jokes at ironmaiden.com? Pretty funny shit.

 

[mrthrax]

i saved a 16 year old girl from rape yesterday???

i couldnt catch the bitch!!!

 

[mrthrax]

a bloke walked into the police station and the officer said"what can we do for u"and he replied"i hear there's a man wanted for rape i am up for the job!!!

 

[mrthrax]

whats the last thing princess diana saw before she died?

the radiator.

 

[Riehlthing]

What was John Lennon's last hit?
The pavement

What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts

Did you hear that Christie McAufliffe had blue eyes?
One blew this way, one blew that way

Where did Christie McAufliffe spend her Summer vacation?
All over Florida

Why is Coke the official soft drink of NASA?
Because they can't get 7-Up

 

[nafnikufesin]

This is my token post in this thread for the day.