Calm down. I never said you were a bad writer, I said you need to practice more. The more you write, and the more poetry you read, the more you will learn and improve. It's a skill, takes time and effort to get very good. I said it's a good start, now build upon it!
But if you can advice me some books,I will build upon it.I hope that "harsh critizes" wont be an earthquake...I will resist and practice.Thanks for your attention.
I was calm already.But now Im in 8th grade and ı am studying for an exam which is very very important in my life.I always wanted to write but I cant.Its a truth that I dont read so much book.
http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/cob-off-topic/283924-time-some-poetry.html?highlight=poetry
anyway: me like, but they do sound kinda like My dying bride (maybe that's why I like em)
Try Iambic pentameters (which means 10 syllables per line, or have each line with equal syllables) ,and rhyming schemes, and more decisive/critical, large words etc. Rhyming makes poems more attractive, though cliche it is still a skill to hook the reader. Don't worry about yourself and this whole emotion thing, if you cannot do it yourself, learn to be empathetic and adopt somebody elses role, as if you are somebody else writing a poem.
Look dude, if your work is shit- I will tell you. Constructive criticism and honesty is the best way, and if I lie to you it won't help. I would say your poem has a good sense of emotion, yet it is not that appealing to my tastes, it uses techniques that I don't seek in a poem, I'm a more rhymy dude as you seeThank you.At least theres some one who encourges me except Heartless_Name
