random rant/vent

Will Bozarth

Everlasting Godstopper
Jan 26, 2002
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New Jersey
www.facebook.com
Ever since I went in to the hospital to get treatment for depression, my mom has turned in to a bitch. For instance, she thinks I am lying about being depressed to "look cool" to the people I talk to on "the message boards" [here] I go on. She constantly yells at me about simple things. An example of that, I was out with Christina, Bill, and his girlfriend last night until 11:45. I was to stay at my grandparents' house that night when I got back. My mom said I had to be there at 11, but I asked my grandparents if I could stay out until 11:30. Time was rolling around to leave, and when we went back upstairs, we had to sing happy birthday to Bill's girlfriend and say goodbye to everyone. We left, and I got to my gparent's house at 11:45. My grandfather bitched at me about how 'disrespectful' I am. Now, this morning, after my mom picked me up, she yelled at me. Saying that I never listen to what she says, that I took advantage of my grandparents, that I did it on purpose, etc. My mom also yells at me in the mornings when I go to school if my shirt isn't buttoned all the way and I am sitting at my computer. She says it's time to go, screams at me saying that I'm not dressed... Every fucking day it's something new. Does she not realize that one of the reasons I have mental issues is that she constantly yells at me about shit that is not under my control? meh
 
she also said that if my attitude doesnt change, i will not be playing at my band's show on January 10... what the FUCK kind of attitude do i have? she's gone fucking psycho
 
sounds a little like my mom about the yelling at your for completely pointless reasons..

but my mom turned out to be bi-polar and i ran away from her... so i can't help you, sorry
 
Well, sounds like a few things are going on.

First, your mom sounds like she is not handling your depression well and maybe she needs someone to talk to about it.
Second, 11:30 means 11:30 Will, not 11:40, 11:45 etc. :err:
According to Willy Wonka, time is a precious thing, never waste it.
Have your mom talk to a shrink, get her some Zanax or a joint.
 
yeah, the rest of the stuff sounds like legitimate reasons for being upset at her, Will, but the 11:45 thing... thats just normal for parents. my mom would get upset about stuff like that, i think many would.
 
like hal for example... he was right outside his house playing football with the neighborhood kids...

and he got grounded for a month for being out there past midnight...right outside his house
 
i think the "11:30" or your "shirt" are just little issues that stand for a much much bigger issue.
believe me.
your mom doesnt care for 11:30, nor about your shirt.

from what you've said, seems to me she has much bigger issues with you, and those little things are just an excuse.
i dont think your mom is going "nuts" or "psycho" thats not true,
you two have a major lack of communication, which due to that: you simply cannot understand each other at all.
you think she is yelling at you for no reason, and at the same time, she thinks you have no respect at all.
Why? I don’t know, but you guys have to work it out.

i'd suggest you to do something i did with my mom (which btw, i had similar problems with my mom as a teenager) its not a simple thing to do, and it has to take alot of effort from you, and a lot of maturity: if you think you can handle it, then i think you should take your mom to a nice cafe, sit with her, and try to talk to her and tell her whats really on your mind.
The reason im suggesting it to be in a public place is because its “easier” to act “more mature” when people are around you. That way you two wont yell at eachother, and wont shut the door to eachother faces.
dont yell, dont argue too much, in other words: try not to be a typical "rebel" teenager.
the more mature you will be during that conversation, - the more chances she will sit there, look at you, and simply LISTEN.
now, how would you like your mom to really listen to you?
isnt that what this is all about ?


of course it means you have to listen to her as well.
dont take her words like she is there to harm you, she;s your mom Will, she loves you, believe me. dont think she criticizes you too much if she has things to say- you wont like so much.
just LISTEN.

You guys can work a solution. Its all up to you.

Then, believe me – your shirt will be the last thing on her mind.


I helped to me with my mom.
So take this free tip and do whatever you want with it.


Good luck.
 
The whole thing where she blames you emotional issues on "material" things like the Internet sounds way too much like my mother...

There were times when I'd tell my mother that I thought I had problems with depression, or about my athiesm, and she'd get incredibly defensive about it. If it was about my depression, she'd blame my music, my friends, how much time I spend on the Internet, etc. She wouldn't even consider that depression is a problem with the brain or that it's hereditary, because there's a good chance that I get a lot of this from my dad.
I think she was scared that it was her fault, that she wasn't a good mother, etc. I guess that's a typical fear of her's, or maybe she just didn't want to acknowledge it since she's been around suicide all of her life, practically- her adopted father shot himself the day after her 3rd birthday, a good friend of hers shot herself when she was a teenager, and she'd just said goodbye to one of her coworkers one afternoon right before he jumped out of a window. And she got a call from my school guidance counselor a few years ago, saying that someone had reported I threatened to kill myself. That's when she really got defensive and accusing towards me. I guess she thought that she could try and find a solution for any of my emotional problems by doing whatever she could herself, that way she wouldn't have to consult doctors and shrinks, and she wouldn'thave to let anyone outside of my immidiate family know "Laura has emotional problems and she needs help." I feel like a lot of it is her being so concearned with "keeping up appearences"

But, Will, it sounds like, as DreamNeonBlack said, your mom isn't handling your depression well. Maybe she's scared that, with that and the whole 11:30 deal and your shirt not being buttoned up, etc., she's afraid she's loosing control of you, in a way. Maybe she's scared that she's one of the things that caused you a lot of these problems and, if she isn't, tell her that and explain to her that this is a problem she can do nothing but be understanding about and try to help you through. If she is a large part of your problem, then maybe you should try to get her to talk to a doctor as well...
 
Sounds like lazy parenting to me...my parents didnt pull that shit with me unless there was an explaination...seriously, if my parents were to yell at me about something they always stated a good reason why...it sounds to me like your mom doesnt wanna take the time out to actually discuss why you feel the way you do...if she would do that, things may get easier..i suggest asking her about that...
 
I think Karen's right...your mom has more issues than this minor stuff. Probably she feels that your depression reflects badly on her as a parent, and she's frustrated because of it. Might have some of that "My baby is growing up too fast" vibe cause of your budding musical career...who knows.

You're not totally in the right, but either way she sounds like she's getting way too angry. Just tiptoe carefully around her, come in on time, and just stay out of her way cause it sounds like you guys are bringing each other town. Talk to her when you think she's cooled off a bit...again, I second Karen's advice on the cafe thing.
 
mama has problems with herself. I think she'll be sorry. if she's not sorry every day already, but can't control herself. ;)
 
hmmm...parents...all I have to say is they just look out to seek what's best for us and to our eyes most of the time it seems unfair and ridiculous but we must remember that they were once teens and they just don't want us to mess things up or do bad stuff or whatever they might have done...but like karen said, there is much more to this than what meets the eye...it's not that 11:30 - 11:45 issue or the shirt or the pc...you two have to sit an work things out...it always helps to talk about it...let each other know how you feel...and then work on a solution.
 
hey Will, you're dealing with something that most of us have had a taste of...one thing to keep in mind...

your mom could be going through some shit also, which makes it difficult for her to have patience with you. women are prone to chemical swings and its difficult for us guys to always relate (I swear to God if I had a dollar for every argument I've had with my wife, where we go back and forth, and then she says "well, that's not really the issue here"), but depending on her age, if she's going into menopause those swings are sometimes greatly magnified. Also I don't know about your parental situation but if your parents are still together, they may be having troubles. There is nothing that saps your strength more than a troubled relationship.

obviously these are just hypotheticals, but sometimes we're so close to our own misery we don't see the misery of others.

hang in there, dude. been there done that.
 
dead6skin6mask6 said:
Ever since I went in to the hospital to get treatment for depression, my mom has turned in to a bitch. For instance, she thinks I am lying about being depressed to "look cool" to the people I talk to on "the message boards" [here] I go on. She constantly yells at me about simple things. An example of that, I was out with Christina, Bill, and his girlfriend last night until 11:45. I was to stay at my grandparents' house that night when I got back. My mom said I had to be there at 11, but I asked my grandparents if I could stay out until 11:30. Time was rolling around to leave, and when we went back upstairs, we had to sing happy birthday to Bill's girlfriend and say goodbye to everyone. We left, and I got to my gparent's house at 11:45. My grandfather bitched at me about how 'disrespectful' I am. Now, this morning, after my mom picked me up, she yelled at me. Saying that I never listen to what she says, that I took advantage of my grandparents, that I did it on purpose, etc. My mom also yells at me in the mornings when I go to school if my shirt isn't buttoned all the way and I am sitting at my computer. She says it's time to go, screams at me saying that I'm not dressed... Every fucking day it's something new. Does she not realize that one of the reasons I have mental issues is that she constantly yells at me about shit that is not under my control? meh


Depression??? You worthless, pathetic shit heap. Kill yourself and save the taxpayers some money. WHO CARES??? I fucking dont. Your just another bitch ass kid looking for attention. BLOW your BRAINS out and you will get it!!!