I was just at a local bar with my band's singer, when a "heavy" (see: fat) girl in a red dress came over and told my singer that she recognized him from Church. She asked me what religion I am, and I told her that I'm an Atheist. She said "Why are you such an Atheist?" I said "Why do you believe in a talking snake, a burning bush, and a man that lived after getting eaten by a whale?" She said "because of the Bible." I said "so, all of this stuff that a couple of drunk guys wrote inside of a book and said it was God's word is true?" she said "my bible is god's word." i said "it isn't what i live by." she says "why don't you come to ________ Church?" i said "do i look like a child molester? also, are you about to engage in pre-marital sex?!?!" she said "we aren't catholic, and i'm not sleeping with him." i said "neither am i." she went back to her friends after saying "i'll be back."
she came back a half hr to an hour later, saying "I came back!" i said "Ok, I see that. And everything you're talking about, I don't give a shit." she said to my friend and singer "he's pissed off. i'm leaving."
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Yes. My friend and singer is around 39 years old. Yes, he teaches Sunday School. No, he isn't afraid to sing for a Zombie Metal band. Yes, he has a sense of humor. No, he isn't judgmental.
Why must religious people come up to me and tell me what to believe? Nobody fucking knows the truth about what happens when we die. We are all alive!
Jesus butt-fucking Christ!
Love,
William L. Bozarth
ps. Tonight was $10 bottomless domestic drafts.