There is an annual Orange Blossom Festival in Shitterside (Riverside, like where I live and stuff) where the whole downtown area puts a shindig on selling all kinds of crap and food and booze and such right. So I went this year per usual, start off at the local pub at 11am when they open, get hosed, go to the Beer Garden (some tasting shit), get hosed more, go home. Well there was a slight change in plans for this year. Story time!
Go to the pub at 11:15am, usually the place is packed as fuck by then but this year started off slow. No biggy, more beer and service for us few fuckers that were there. Get hosed per usual, but take a slight detour before the Beer Gardens to head to the Mission Tobacco Lounch where that one crazy bitch I'm sorta dating right now works. Get some beer, get all fucked up, pass the FUCK OUT on their couch, broad I'm seeing writes "I was @ MTL and I had a nap!" on my hand, I wake up in the middle of such a disgrace to my person and say "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?" to which she just laughed and continued to write. So I was all fucked up and took a nap, had to do it before I fuckin' died right. So I go outside, grab a god damn hot dog and start to feel better about my situation. Head to the Beer Gardens and drink some shitz, then it's time to bail. Wait around by my car for other fuckers to show up, they finally do and we're on the way. Okay, I'm heading right towards the freeway, my one friend (3 in the car with me) says "no dude, go straight" so I'm thinking he knows a shortcut. Nope, fuck says "STOP." and I do, he flings the door open and horks, haha wuss. Okay he's done, let's get the fuck out of dodge. Flying down the freeway at 80mph or so, OH NO he starts horking again. Somehow the shit flies back INTO the car, hits me, my fuckin' seats, my one bro in the back, and my other bro in the back IN THE FUCKING EYE. Okay, pull over, regroup, wipe all our shitz off, head back to my other bro's pad, and my horking friend passes the fuck out in the lawn for the next 3 hours. I get a burrito and a Powerade, get back into focus any sort of humanity I have left in my system, and bail home. Drop off a few fuckers, head home, and it's now 9pm and I'm about ready to pass the fuck out and sleep for the next week or six.
Moral of the story, my car smells like hork and I just let this same dude drive my shit going 110mph the night before. What a fucker!
Go to the pub at 11:15am, usually the place is packed as fuck by then but this year started off slow. No biggy, more beer and service for us few fuckers that were there. Get hosed per usual, but take a slight detour before the Beer Gardens to head to the Mission Tobacco Lounch where that one crazy bitch I'm sorta dating right now works. Get some beer, get all fucked up, pass the FUCK OUT on their couch, broad I'm seeing writes "I was @ MTL and I had a nap!" on my hand, I wake up in the middle of such a disgrace to my person and say "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?" to which she just laughed and continued to write. So I was all fucked up and took a nap, had to do it before I fuckin' died right. So I go outside, grab a god damn hot dog and start to feel better about my situation. Head to the Beer Gardens and drink some shitz, then it's time to bail. Wait around by my car for other fuckers to show up, they finally do and we're on the way. Okay, I'm heading right towards the freeway, my one friend (3 in the car with me) says "no dude, go straight" so I'm thinking he knows a shortcut. Nope, fuck says "STOP." and I do, he flings the door open and horks, haha wuss. Okay he's done, let's get the fuck out of dodge. Flying down the freeway at 80mph or so, OH NO he starts horking again. Somehow the shit flies back INTO the car, hits me, my fuckin' seats, my one bro in the back, and my other bro in the back IN THE FUCKING EYE. Okay, pull over, regroup, wipe all our shitz off, head back to my other bro's pad, and my horking friend passes the fuck out in the lawn for the next 3 hours. I get a burrito and a Powerade, get back into focus any sort of humanity I have left in my system, and bail home. Drop off a few fuckers, head home, and it's now 9pm and I'm about ready to pass the fuck out and sleep for the next week or six.
Moral of the story, my car smells like hork and I just let this same dude drive my shit going 110mph the night before. What a fucker!
