So my ex-girlfriend tried to kill herself.

[Executioner213]

Best way to end a relationship: perform the "Bucking Bull".

Get her in bed, start banging her from behind...tell her that her sister (or mother, or best friend, or whoever you know would really ruin her day) was even better this morning, and hold on as tight as you can until you are done. Even more perverse, you could 1-up this in many ways...

Then blow it in her hair, and go to sleep. She'll most likely be out by dawn.

 

[drew_drummer]

Then blow it in her hair, and go to sleep. She'll most likely be out by dawn.

Yeah... with your cock in her handbag.

 

[Executioner213]

Yeah... with your cock in her handbag.

Depends on if it's the aforementioned, Attention Seeking type or not....

 

[DanLights]

They're obviously too busy making dinner and sucking cock.

I loved this hahaha

 

[spioraid]

and by tried to kill herself I mean made a desperate call for attention.

So today my ex girlfriend kept calling me and harassing me - I told her yesterday that we could be friends and nothing more, and that wasn't good enough for her apparently.

so finally I answered the phone and long story short she really pissed me off and I said some mean things. I hung up on her and she sent me some somewhat scary texts. I tried calling her back to make sure she wasn't doing anything stupid, and somehow somebody answered the phone but all I heard is like paramedics and cops and shit. After a little while it just went silent and I basically had no way of finding out what happened or even if she was alive or anything. Nobody was at her house and I don't have her parents' phone numbers or anything like that. So I went on an excursion to a few local hospitals and finally tracked her down - she's fine... throwing up charcoal and high as a mother fucking kite, but fine. She swallowed a whole bottle of unknown(to me) pills. I have never been so unamused with someone in my entire life.

So I went ridiculously out of my way and put myself behind on a shitload of work I'm already late on to see if she was ok, and what does she do when I get there? try to make me feel even more bad. unbelievable.

drama for the lose. I hate when people involve me in drama so much.

just thought I'd share that with my sneap bros.

I can make out two scenarios here:

She is...

a) Clinically in need of help. If she really is doing things like to get YOUR attention, she needs therapy and someone to work as a suicide watch. It's a mental addiction disorder, nasty stuff if it goes deep.

b) She's a whiny brat that needs to be taught a lesson. I can't tell you how many times I've had girls claim they have some sort of disorder, sickness, tragic or deeply disturbed life when all they want is comfort. These are also the people who were not spanked enough as a child. Leaving won't help, but discipline will get them to at least behave.

I leave the methods of discipline up to you. Nothing kinky though, they might end up liking it.

 

[Jevil]

I sometimes have the feeling, that kind of girls feel like YOU ARE their hobby!

Wise words.

 

[ahjteam]

A woman crying is a woman with an agenda.

 

[Trevoire520]

I sometimes have the feeling, that kind of girls feel like YOU ARE their hobby?!?!?!

This is exactly right. And this is why they crave attention and want to spend every free minute with you. Because you are their hobby. This is also the reason why women generally don't:
Play sports
Play music
Get into cars/audio production/anything technical
etc
etc

They might moan that all men want is sex (not true) but to be honest all women want is men. As long as they have a fella they're generally happy with life.

 

[[UEAK]Clowd]

wow this thread turned into a goldmine of advice, humor, and quotes! "A woman crying is a woman with an agenda." I like that.

Thanks for all the serious advices dudes - no worries though, I'm done with that shit. The only reason I talked to her again to begin with is because I felt really bad and I guess I did kind of want to stay close with her. It's just a pity it had to end up like this. oh well.

I think gabriel is my new idol.

 

[plague_rider]

is it wrong that i just imagined the next time a crazy chick picks up a knife, the response should be "you making me a sammich?? awesome!!"

 

[DanLights]

I love this thread haha

 

[Trevoire520]

is it wrong that i just imagined the next time a crazy chick picks up a knife, the response should be "you making me a sammich?? awesome!!"

Literally lol'd at that one!

 

[[UEAK]Clowd]

Literally lol'd at that one!

me too hahaha

 

[CatharsisStudios]

when I stopped dating metal chicks all these problems also stopped.
all metal chicks are mental...bulimic, borderliner, cutting themselves, overly jealous, sluts...cause they need attention, threatening to kill themselves (had that everytime when I broke up with one).....

now being with a girl that has nothing to do with metal all is good.
seriously, I fucking hate metal/goth chicks (for a relationship at least)

+1

 

[J the TyranT]

Saw this on Fark once... epic:

All women are whores.

I have to disagree. At least whores theoretically provide an equitable trade for services.

Most women are self-absorbed, solipsistic me-machines. So they are like whores who take your money, don't bang you, reach up under your ribcage and pull your farking heart out like a Aztec priestess and then go through your pockets for loose change.

Which sounds bad enough. But that's only metaphor.

The reality is not nearly as merciful because they take years to do it, leaving you a dried-out husk of your former self abandoned having wasted the only good years you might get in this miserable farking parade of loss and suffering that is this life having tried to make her mercenary soul-sucking ass happy like feeding planets into a massive black hole until you have nothing left but emptiness and every damn morning when you wake up you curse the fates because you didn't die in your sleep yet again.

But, generally in nicer colors.

 

[narcossintese]

They're obviously too busy making dinner and sucking cock.

LOL. Hard.

 

[Notuern]

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

 

[El_Gato]

wait, they got other hobbies: shopping, ...........










j/k lul

 

[Erkan]

seriously, I fucking hate metal/goth chicks (for a relationship at least)

Might this right here be the best thing ever written by mankind? Seriously... I think it is.

+infinity to that!

 

[FloridaRolf]

This thread is full of win.