teh joke thread omg

[Nitronium Blood]

What do you call someone who has $4.50, for an item that's worth $5.00?

A retard.

 

[marduk1507]

Conversation between George W. Bush and his National Security Advisor
>
> George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
>
> Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
>
> George: Great. Lay it on me.
>
> Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
>
> George: That's what I want to know.
>
> Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
>
> George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
>
> Condi: Yes.
>
> George: I mean the fellow's name.
>
> Condi: Hu.
>
> George: The guy in China.
>
> Condi: Hu.
>
> George: The new leader of China.
>
> Condi: Hu.
>
> George: The Chinaman!
>
> Condi: Hu is leading China.
>
> George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
>
> Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
>
> George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
>
> Condi: That's the man's name.
>
> George: That's who's name?
>
> Condi: Yes.
>
> George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
>
> Condi: Yes, sir.
>
> George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
>
> Condi: That's correct.
>
> George: Then who is in China?
>
> Condi: Yes, sir.
>
> George: Yassir is in China?
>
> Condi: No, sir.
>
> George: Then who is?
>
> Condi: Yes, sir.
>
> George: Yassir?
>
> Condi: No, sir.
>
> George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
>
> China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
>
> Condi: Kofi?
>
> George: No, thanks.
>
> Condi: You want Kofi?
>
> George: No.
>
> Condi: You don't want Kofi.
>
> George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
>
> And then get me the U.N.
>
> Condi: Yes, sir.
>
> George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
>
> Condi: Kofi?
>
> George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
>
> Condi: And call who?
>
> George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
>
> Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
>
> George: Will you stay out of China?!
>
> Condi: Yes, sir.
>
> George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N
>
> Condi: Kofi.
>
> George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
>
> (Condi picks up the phone.)
>
> Condi: Rice, here.
>
> George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
>
> should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

 

[Vizjaqtaar]

Why have women such small feet? ... So they can stand closer to the kitchen stove.

 

[Dark_Silence]

but I wear size 40. It isnt small for a woman.
the problem is that women are not very tall (most of them) and they cant reach the top of cupboards in the kitchen. That happen to me all the time, I have to spring to catch the things above the cupoard.

 

[Siren]

That's why we have men.

 

[incendo]

Conversation between George W. Bush and his National Security Advisor
>
> George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
>
> Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
>
> George: Great. Lay it on me.
>
> Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
>
> George: That's what I want to know.
>
> Condi: That's what I'm telling you......

I've heard this conversation in a web site with voices, long ago, I can't tell which site it was. I remember I couldn't get half of it because I was craked up. very funny, really.

 

[Cuthalion]

but I wear size 40. It isnt small for a woman.
the problem is that women are not very tall (most of them) and they cant reach the top of cupboards in the kitchen. That happen to me all the time, I have to spring to catch the things above the cupoard.

on the other hand kitchen sinks are too low and when i worked as a glass washer in a night club i had to bend all the time and it was horrible
It is a discrimination i tell you

 

[GONE Ridin' Hood]

Conversation between George W. Bush and his National Security Advisor
... (continued)
>
> George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
>
> Condi: Yes.
>
> George: I mean the fellow's name.
>
> Condi: Hu.
>
> George: The guy in China.
>
> Condi: Hu.
>
> George: The new leader of China.
>
> Condi: Hu.
>
> George: The Chinaman!
>
> Condi: Hu is leading China.
>
> George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
>
> Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
>
> George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
>
> Condi: That's the man's name.

HAHA LOL LOL LOL. That;s hilarius. I wonder if that has actually happened in the White House...?

 

[The.Jester.Race]

I've heard this conversation in a web site with voices, long ago, I can't tell which site it was. I remember I couldn't get half of it because I was craked up. very funny, really.

lol its real? O________________o no way

 

[incendo]

^no, of course not, 'not' of course, not that far It is fake.

 

[marduk1507]

Btw. what did you mean by "craked up", incendo? That you had been on crack, and therefore you didnt understand a thing?

 

[incendo]

I started listening to the conversation. in a minute, I found myself laughing very hardly and instead of trying to listen to the 'end' of it, I prefered to keep laughing. that's what I was trying to mean

 

[Blitzkrieg Pajo]

sure that you were laughing very hardly?

 

[incendo]

OK, then. ---> "...I found myself laughing loudly..."

how about this? I know I've been making grammer mistakes very often, lately, and I have a serious lack of ability to use phrases and idioms in English.

 

[Taliesin]

You see, hardly means "very little". It's the joke in "Working hard or hardly working!?"

 

[incendo]

yep. thanks everybody.

*starts studying 'hard/hardly..hard/hardly..hard/hardly'*

 

[marduk1507]

Yeah, those adjectives and adverbs can be tricky.

 

[RampageSword]

Yeah, those adjectives and adverbs can be tricky.

Got that right. I was walking down the street and right when I was about to cross at an intersection, Reluctantly hit me in the back and stole my wallet. Bastard.

 

[marduk1507]

Reluctantly is a sneeky bastard, I hope he didnt hit you hard.

 

[RampageSword]

TYPO!
sneaky