Magrathean
worldbuilder
Something like that was bound to happen. But i don't think we have to take that. I believe it is (more or less) general opinion that everyone here is gay.Vizjaqtaar said:
teh joke thread omg
- Thread starter Malaclypse
- Start date
wildfyr
unus spiritus est
Magrathean
worldbuilder
RampageSword
AWARE! BEWARE! WAR!
This one lacks moral values but is still funny :
Q : What's another name for an epilepsy seizure?
A : The bacon dance.
Q : What's another name for an epilepsy seizure?
A : The bacon dance.
Rincewind
Find tranquillity in dark
Magrathean
worldbuilder
Rincewind
Find tranquillity in dark
Magrathean
worldbuilder
wildfyr
unus spiritus est
Magrathean
worldbuilder
Okay, here goes:One day, George W. Bush decides to send a "gift" to Fidel Castro. He takes some shit (as in excrement), wraps it in a box and sends it to Cuba. A few days later, a square box with a ribbon arrives at the White House from Cuba. Mr. President has it checked in case it's a bomb or something, and after his best specialists decide it's not a bomb he opens it. Inside he finds a habano cigar of the finest quality and a little note. He takes the note and reads it: "Each country exports what it produces."
Oh, well, it's funny if you tell it in spanish and with your voice rather than a keyboard.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
Magrathean
worldbuilder
Magrathean
worldbuilder
It's horrible, isn't it?
(Until you and your brother find out that you can make a joke out of the fact that all of your father's jokes are terrible, of course.)
(Until you and your brother find out that you can make a joke out of the fact that all of your father's jokes are terrible, of course.)
UndoControl said:It's horrible, isn't it?
(Until you and your brother find out that you can make a joke out of the fact that all of your father's jokes are terrible, of course.)
Actually, what was in my mind when saying "one of those dads" was very similar to these little thingies you've just wrote up there.
Rincewind
Find tranquillity in dark
Three Hells
A bad person dies and is greeted by Saint Peter. Peter tells the man he must choose between three hells.
The first hell is very hot and he sees a lot of people burning in fire. The next hell is freezing cold and he sees people shivering and clamoring. In the third hell, he sees people standing in shit up to their waist but they look quite happy. They are drinking a cup of coffee and are chatting with each other. So the bad person says to Peter, "I choose the third hell with all the people standing in shit up to their waist."
So Peter admits the bad person to the third hell. He gets a cup of coffee and feels quite comfortable. Suddenly he hears a beep from a loud speaker that says, "Attention. Attention. Coffee break is over. It's time to stand on your head now."
A bad person dies and is greeted by Saint Peter. Peter tells the man he must choose between three hells.
The first hell is very hot and he sees a lot of people burning in fire. The next hell is freezing cold and he sees people shivering and clamoring. In the third hell, he sees people standing in shit up to their waist but they look quite happy. They are drinking a cup of coffee and are chatting with each other. So the bad person says to Peter, "I choose the third hell with all the people standing in shit up to their waist."
So Peter admits the bad person to the third hell. He gets a cup of coffee and feels quite comfortable. Suddenly he hears a beep from a loud speaker that says, "Attention. Attention. Coffee break is over. It's time to stand on your head now."
that joke isn't funny. i mean burning in fire and freezing may be better than swimming in shit. but not really if you have to do it your whole afterlife.
