The shit thread

[Krigloch the Furious]

stand!

 

[Chanakya]

Chanakya, your username sounds like the noise an Indian person might make while taking a poop.

Thanks dawg. I'm assuming that you remember that I changed my username due to deranged female issues.

 

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

Were the deranged females hurling feces at you?

EDIT: BTW, this is why I like to shit it public restrooms:

 

[Onder]

I sit when I wipe, ldo.

 

[Blind Guardian]

lately I've been having nasty paste poops. Not sure what is causing it. annoying as hell.
almost have to wipe like 50 times.
Today was much better though. I think alot of it has to do with me eating less and exercising more.

Do you have shit stains inside the toilet too, or do you scrub it after every shit you take?

 

[Einherjar86]

Here's a poem I wrote about Moby Dick whilst taking a shit in the bathroom at UChicago:

I seek the green and docile Earth
Advis’d to me from ‘top the mast
Of Fiction, but this girdled girth
Has dropp’d, and I must cry “Avast!”
Upon the vessel porcelain
I sight the six legg’d demon crawl
From out the darkly, downward drain
Within this kingliest of stalls.

The grass, alas! The seas elude
My fancy in this flimsy cell
Where I can picture but the crude
Tattooed vicissitudes of hell;
The flushing maelstrom ends the gale
Of which I had no little need
I thus zip up my great white whale
And seek a better place to read.

 

[Blind Guardian]

Where I can picture but the crude
Tattooed vicissitudes of hell;

I've always wondered what function the "but" has in these types of texts. Does it mean "only"?

By "these types of texts" I mean texts using high-flung language.

 

[Einherjar86]

Indeed. 'Tis meant to convey "naught but," or "nothing but"; ergo, "only." The solitary word is used for brevity's sake in verse.

 

[Tonka Time]

During my vacation I would eat a bunch of hot wings, force myself to drink a bottle of water, and smoke a cigarette before I felt the wings in my guts. This would result in an extremely explosive shit that pretty much emptied me out.

 

[Cronopio]

That poem is actually pretty good, thus sorely misplaced.

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

just took a nice 10" shit. feels good

 

[unknown]

man. something I ate or drank last night did not agree with my stomach...takin it easy today

 

[thrashOVERall]

 

[Master_Yoda77]

This thread needs more Mr. Lahey Shitisms...

 

[Kara-Shehr]

I pee sitting down and shit standing up just to be different.

 

[A1a23]

This thread needs more Mr. Lahey Shitisms...

Fuck yes!

 

[Shysh!t]

Our band's main focus is shit and excrements of all sorts Here are two links to prove it! lol

Toilet Doomsday!:
Hold the blast I gotta shit!:

 

[zabu of nΩd]

what the fuck just happened

 

[Episteme]

My brain just shat itself.

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

cool