The shit thread

[Onder]

You have to be good live.

 

[Astrum]

just got a job at a burrito place.

needless to say, my shits have been ruthless lately.

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

bad idea. /Arnold

 

[CF87]

I never poop.

Me either. I smell amazing always.

 

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

Only 2 squares? Must have been a ghost poop.

 

[Shysh!t]

Ya, only two squares. It was a political decision to ease up the animation process lol

 

[A1a23]

Damn, I have been seriously shitting every half hour today.

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

I had awful gas today from the awesome bean and sausage and noodle whatever the fuck it's called dinner that dad cooked on Wednesday night.
Finally dropped out the goo. smelled so bad...ly!

 

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

I shit about 6 times today, all solid. Hooray fiber!

 

[entanglement]

It would be great to create some kind of wall on the border of city above which people would sit and release huge amount of liquid shit. Everybody with diarrhoea would be forced to shit there BY MOTHERFUCKING LAW. Underneath there would be christians and muslims praying for fast death. But their god wouldn't hear. Low, simple, weak vaginas would forever smell like shit that they are.

 

[damnromulans]

I have had some EPIC shits lately, from BBQ and from Vietnamese curry. They were long and laborious and smelled pretty bad. HUGE piles.

 

[unknown]

this seems like a good place to post this:

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jo5at/iama_guy_that_hasnt_pooped_in_the_month_of_august/

 

[~Neurotica]

I love GMD, seriously...
Thank you for making me a better person through all these years...

 

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

this seems like a good place to post this:

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jo5at/iama_guy_that_hasnt_pooped_in_the_month_of_august/

My favorite comment:

Lol.. I had to do this for my 3 month old baby once. The poor little guy had a bit sticking out and it wasn't coming out. He hadn't pooped in 4 days, which for a baby is pretty crazy. So, I removed the "plug" very gently with a the tip of a rectal thermometer. The "plug" was weird and very dry and sandy looking, then some more, and more, and then all of a sudden it was like a soft serve chocolate ice cream machine, it just kept coming out! The little guy was screaming and giving it all he had, I felt so bad for him, but also happy. And when he was done he had this really tired smile and looked so content. Then he passed out. (Babies do that a lot anyhow) Thank god baby poop doesn't stink too bad.

TL;DR: I'm going to have a great story to use as blackmail material when my son gets to dating age. And as a bonus, it involved poop. And poop is funny.

 

[Onder]

I think that baby poop smells much worse than real people poop.

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

Ya wtf
Taking a milkshake shit as we speak. Not fun. Damn you, drunk me

 

[unknown]

yeah seriously. baby poop is the worst

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

I love farting before I sit down to shit. The smell goes right into my nose

 

[Saparmurat_Niyazov]

Farting on the toilet is like farting into a 1000 watt Mesa Boogie stack. The volume amplification is the shit (pun intended).

 

[Onder]

Sometimes when I sit on a toilet and can‘t get it out, I stand for two seconds and then sit down again. It comes out with fanfares.