How about top 5 most fucked up/disturbing things you've ever dreamed?
I considered the topic after a particularly fucked up dream, but then I went and had another top tier Bloopy dream moment. So I'm gonna let my subconscious simmer over the course of the year and see what other utterly sick shit it comes up with. They often seem allergy-driven, or it may be that allergies change my sleep pattern and help me remember the horrors. Anyway, I wouldn't wanna come straight out with 5 that nobody can compete with.
So in the meantime here's 5 WTF things I've dreamt that didn't even make the Bloopy top 10:
- Refereeing a 3-way fight including racing driver Tim Slade who'd animorphed into a python. I had a view of my own forehead as he sliced across it with a garrotte wire (presumably held by his mouth and tail), leaving a long flap of oddly thick skin dangling. It hardly bled at all and I fitted it back into place. Then I saw myself with huge eyes, asleep. I used my fingers to lift one of my own eyelids and tried to coax out a piece of lint.
- Helping my sister to breed some sort of biotech pets in a toy store. The little male's long pencil dick was raw and bleeding by the time he'd impregnated over 20 females.
- I was an astronaut on a moon with rivers. The rivers had solid bits in them that looked like the marshmallow pieces from Lucky Charms cereal. To collect samples to be tested for life, I had to get out of my spacesuit and lie down in the river, allowing any moon lifeforms present to assimilate with me.
- Racing driver Allan Simonsen's fatal crash, except he had long shaggy hair, and no helmet nor sufficient seatbelt so he hit his head on the tree. He stumbled away from the crash but started to feel sick and vomited. I found him lying down in a shower next to a cooked steak after having lost control of his bowels, and then saw car parts arranged on tables for examination.
- Just beyond the doorway of a bathroom installed in a cave, there was a horrifying alien creature on the ground. It was the size and shape of a small melon, with a wedge-shaped opening revealing it was something like a cocooning insect or a gooey giant isopod. It launched itself at my arm and bit me, at which point it kinda resembled a shrunken head of a big cat. I prised it off with a block of tree bark or something like that, hit it into the toilet and found it was too big to flush. I laughed as I woke up, knowing it'll smell like piss when it gets me next dream.