Another interesting day at work... One retard showed up for work today (the other never showed up again)... First thing in the morning, had some rail cars full of foam rolls to get unloaded. About the 6th or 7th car, I go over to check progress and bullshit with the rail guys. So I'm talking to them about various shit, and the final retard, whom, might I add, has a really high pitched voice, comes up to ask me a question. The conversation went as so:
Retard (Really high pitched, imagine Ross the Intern from Jay Leno) - "Eri..."
Train guy 1 (younger, fresh out of military service) - "Are you gay?"
Retard - "What?!"
Train guy 1 - "Are you gay?!"
Retard - "No, I'm LDS"
Train guy 1 - "Well, you sound pretty god damn gay."
Retard - "But I'm going to become a missionary!"
Train guy 2 (Really old guy) - "Once heard on the news something about a gay missionary porno with real missionaries"
Retard - "Thats SICK! EWWWWWW!"
Me - "Well, we've come to the conclusion that there are gay missionaries, thus not disproving the fact that you could indeed be gay."
At this point the retard is starting to become uneasy, almost sickly.
Retard - "WELL I'M... NOOOOOOOT GAAAAAAAY"
Train Guy 1 - "That way you just waited before saying not gay and held those vowels, think you had to think about your answer."
Retard - "This is REALLY obnoxious!"
Me - "Well, it wouldn't be so obnoxious if you'd just admit you're gay."
Retard - "BUT I'M NOT!"
Train Guy 2 - "I heard a yes."
Retard is starts blinking rapidly and screams:
Retard - "I'm not GAY. NOT GAY GAY GAY!!!"
Me - "You just screamed gay 4 times. Was that some sort of a hint!?"
Retard - "NOOOOOOO! I"M NOT GAY! GOD WOULDN'T LOVE ME IF I WAS GAY!"
Train Guy 2 - "Based on your current mental state, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt too much if you were".
At this point I broke out laughing, couldn't hold it in anymore, and the poor tard walked away. He stayed the rest of the day, despite the fact EVERYONE (Including the spics) made fun of him all day.
Stayed away from him most of the rest of the day, since I was quite busy, except for one instance when I was explaining things to him and he told me that I said fuck 8 times in the last minute. I congratulated him and told him if I had a scratch and sniff sticker, he would be the proud recipient of it.
Wonder if he'll come in tomorrow.
