So my boss lectured me today before a class. She started out by saying I use wood too much with the students. I just froze and this was honestly my thought process:
Shit, does she mean my penis? Why would she think I've been using my penis with students? What the fuck have I done lately?
Nothing! Umm...oh, does she mean actual wood? When did I use wood to beat students with? I've used a variety of objects like books, cards, rolled up paper, etc but wood?
Nope, I haven't done that either.
I then figured out she meant "would" not wood. Apparently I'm not to use "would" when speaking with students because it confuses the fuck out of these slant-eyes.