The Where The Fuck Are You Thread

Thanks to dorian including "fuck" in the title, I cannot post in this thread from school
 
I'm assuming the smartphone has replaced the traditional "reading material." That makes me sad. :(

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At homethrone I have a stack of magazines (mostly Playboy and The Nation), but I use the Shartphone for workpooping.

I used to look at pocketporn whilst engaging upon said workpooping but one time I got a boner and that was just fucking awkward.
 
On the way home after seeing the new bond. I smuggled in a bottle of macallan 10. We nearly died when the villain got out bottle of the 50yo.
 
At homethrone I have a stack of magazines (mostly Playboy and The Nation), but I use the Shartphone for workpooping.

I used to look at pocketporn whilst engaging upon said workpooping but one time I got a boner and that was just fucking awkward.

Dude, that shit is terrible. Especially when my cannon starts to rise and touches the porcelain and just grosses me the fuck out. Immediate UTI paranoia.
 
Dude, that shit is terrible. Especially when my cannon starts to rise and touches the porcelain and just grosses me the fuck out. Immediate UTI paranoia.
hahaha exactly. OH GAWD NOW I MUST PEE AND DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE.

Ick, I had an UTI once. The only cool thing about it was that I got to take medication at work and say "these are my dick pills" which was funny.
 
I don't understand how people actually chill out on the shitter, reading some bullshit like they are kicking back in a recliner, in front of a fire, on a cold winter night. When I gotta drop a spike, I sit down, shit, smell, wipe, and gtfo. I never understood that.
 
I was about to question the merits of reading any book on the pooper, let alone the Silmarillion, but I read most of that on a fucking exercise bike at the gym some years back. Might as well have been crapping my pants all the while.

Taking a dump is the only time I read magazines. Get in, get out, goodbye. Well if I'm in the middle of reading and have to poop sure I'll bring the book in with me, but bookmarking without using the poohand or accidentally dropping the novel into a random puddle of small-yet-ruinous-amount of water somewhere fucking sucks.

This is why throne Playboys work best. I'd rather just pollute my jerkoff material with subtle pooflakes instead of ruining a good book. Probably explains that UTI from a few years ago. Wow that's fuckin' gross.