The Whining and Bitching Thread
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fuck ftagn
CiG
Room with a View
Onder
Active Member
- Apr 10, 2006
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I guess I have a lot of shit to whine about, mostly regarding my health.
On sunday I was having beers after work and after a sixth one, at 21:30, my dictor calls and tells me that there's place for me in the hospital so they can do some shit to me under narcosis and I was waiting for that for two or three months so I said ok. So I went to the hospital right in the morning and spent the first three days of this whore moon in a hospital. I wanted to fucking work on my school shit but no, let's fucking chill in a fucking hospital that's not even in Prague it's in some shithole where I have to take a fucking train to get there.
I like trains though. The train I took there was named after Franz Kafka and the train I took back was named after Karel Čapek. There's now wifi and electricity sockets in the trains so I'm thinking about taking my girlfriend on some trip later when I'm healthier. Who needs a fucking car if you can watch stuff on a train together.
They took my blood and did all kinds of shit because of the narcosis and the anesthesiologist was definitely a gay buddy poo he was writing some shit down and in the end asked "do you understand when I say examination of anus?". Well I fucking hope I do brother. Later right before I was injected the sleepy stuff in a gynecological position the anesthesiologist asked me to tell him what they're gonna do to me, they need to hear this to ensure I know what's happening or something, I don't know, and I said "examination of the anus" and he laughed. Goddamit brother, don't laugh yo.
There were three old fagets ridden with a colorful disease spectrum driving me crazy in my room. One farted one burped, the other one kept fucking bothering the nurses and shit. One farted the second said "that's nice" and the third said "that's terrible" and there went another fucking minute of my life ruined. Time is running in the waste for fucks sake. Nurse comes in the evening and he asks her some sleazy bullshit. "Are you gonna sleep tonight girl?" She says yes sure buddy, "Are you gonnu sleep like a fox?" She doesn't know what that means but it basically means that she will sleep with a tail in between her legs.
This guy had what he remarkably called a traveller's testicle. Basically his testicle turned large as fuck and it was really firm and it started going somewhere I don't know where, I think it left his scrotum and went on a walk into his belly or something. That's what you get for having a mustache anyway you old shit. Have a nice day you gangrenous motherfucker.
Well anyway, doctor did some shit in my ass while I was asleep and afterwards he told me he didn't have the right machine there to do what he wanted so we would repeat the examination when I'm awake so he can take biopsy and take pictures for whatever reason and stuff. So I was like, ok, so I get raped in the ass twice once in my sleep and then fully conscious. But that's not all. Basically I had to buy some dildos (this will sound like I'm making it up on the go but trust me), some medical dildoes and I will have to insert them in my asshole at home rather regularly. I didn't know this was a thing until now, but it made me convert from my very gnostic atheism to some other parts of the spectrum. I just fucking think that when your health condition requires you to painfully peg yourself then it means there's a fucking buddy pal god in the skies having a masturbation session. He went "here we have little Onder, he would love to lead a straightforward and peaceful heterosexual life with his pretty and intelligent girlfriend and he thinks he's so fucking clever so why don't we make him fuck himself in the ass?" so here I go.
My mother bought me the dildo today. I didn't feel like doing it myself. She comes back from the medical props shop and says "I have no idea why it's so expensive" and I feel her, it's just a plastic peg, but hey, dildos are expensive. My girlfriend's dildo apparently costs a little over 1000 czk but that one vibrates and has like three gears and shit, my dildo just stretches my inflamed ass so I'm in more pain.
I was in the pub yesterday with my girlfriend. She has some low blood pressure issues and not even beer helps her so sometimes her head starts spinning and she falls on things. Especially during her period. Once a month I see her with bruises and I'm like who, and she says she just fell on some furniture.
I would like to find some positive things in my life because I feel the light of hope gleaming inside but there's not much left and I'm just fucking tired. I have two 12h shifts this weekend and I should really just stay at home and sleep but I just have to go there. My butt hurts. I need to wake up at 4:10AM and I need to do school work at my actual work. I mean, seriously, goddamit.
Positive things in my life:
1) I bought some cheap ass canned fish with mustard sauce. It's rubbish food but I'm all in for the mustard sauce game.
2) I almost completely changed the music on my iPod so now I will listen to all fresh shit on my way to work.
3) Err. I'm in bed right now, I guess I could also be sleeping under a bridge freezing to death and bleeding or something.
It's the small things in life I suppose.
On sunday I was having beers after work and after a sixth one, at 21:30, my dictor calls and tells me that there's place for me in the hospital so they can do some shit to me under narcosis and I was waiting for that for two or three months so I said ok. So I went to the hospital right in the morning and spent the first three days of this whore moon in a hospital. I wanted to fucking work on my school shit but no, let's fucking chill in a fucking hospital that's not even in Prague it's in some shithole where I have to take a fucking train to get there.
I like trains though. The train I took there was named after Franz Kafka and the train I took back was named after Karel Čapek. There's now wifi and electricity sockets in the trains so I'm thinking about taking my girlfriend on some trip later when I'm healthier. Who needs a fucking car if you can watch stuff on a train together.
They took my blood and did all kinds of shit because of the narcosis and the anesthesiologist was definitely a gay buddy poo he was writing some shit down and in the end asked "do you understand when I say examination of anus?". Well I fucking hope I do brother. Later right before I was injected the sleepy stuff in a gynecological position the anesthesiologist asked me to tell him what they're gonna do to me, they need to hear this to ensure I know what's happening or something, I don't know, and I said "examination of the anus" and he laughed. Goddamit brother, don't laugh yo.
There were three old fagets ridden with a colorful disease spectrum driving me crazy in my room. One farted one burped, the other one kept fucking bothering the nurses and shit. One farted the second said "that's nice" and the third said "that's terrible" and there went another fucking minute of my life ruined. Time is running in the waste for fucks sake. Nurse comes in the evening and he asks her some sleazy bullshit. "Are you gonna sleep tonight girl?" She says yes sure buddy, "Are you gonnu sleep like a fox?" She doesn't know what that means but it basically means that she will sleep with a tail in between her legs.
This guy had what he remarkably called a traveller's testicle. Basically his testicle turned large as fuck and it was really firm and it started going somewhere I don't know where, I think it left his scrotum and went on a walk into his belly or something. That's what you get for having a mustache anyway you old shit. Have a nice day you gangrenous motherfucker.
Well anyway, doctor did some shit in my ass while I was asleep and afterwards he told me he didn't have the right machine there to do what he wanted so we would repeat the examination when I'm awake so he can take biopsy and take pictures for whatever reason and stuff. So I was like, ok, so I get raped in the ass twice once in my sleep and then fully conscious. But that's not all. Basically I had to buy some dildos (this will sound like I'm making it up on the go but trust me), some medical dildoes and I will have to insert them in my asshole at home rather regularly. I didn't know this was a thing until now, but it made me convert from my very gnostic atheism to some other parts of the spectrum. I just fucking think that when your health condition requires you to painfully peg yourself then it means there's a fucking buddy pal god in the skies having a masturbation session. He went "here we have little Onder, he would love to lead a straightforward and peaceful heterosexual life with his pretty and intelligent girlfriend and he thinks he's so fucking clever so why don't we make him fuck himself in the ass?" so here I go.
My mother bought me the dildo today. I didn't feel like doing it myself. She comes back from the medical props shop and says "I have no idea why it's so expensive" and I feel her, it's just a plastic peg, but hey, dildos are expensive. My girlfriend's dildo apparently costs a little over 1000 czk but that one vibrates and has like three gears and shit, my dildo just stretches my inflamed ass so I'm in more pain.
I was in the pub yesterday with my girlfriend. She has some low blood pressure issues and not even beer helps her so sometimes her head starts spinning and she falls on things. Especially during her period. Once a month I see her with bruises and I'm like who, and she says she just fell on some furniture.
I would like to find some positive things in my life because I feel the light of hope gleaming inside but there's not much left and I'm just fucking tired. I have two 12h shifts this weekend and I should really just stay at home and sleep but I just have to go there. My butt hurts. I need to wake up at 4:10AM and I need to do school work at my actual work. I mean, seriously, goddamit.
Positive things in my life:
1) I bought some cheap ass canned fish with mustard sauce. It's rubbish food but I'm all in for the mustard sauce game.
2) I almost completely changed the music on my iPod so now I will listen to all fresh shit on my way to work.
3) Err. I'm in bed right now, I guess I could also be sleeping under a bridge freezing to death and bleeding or something.
It's the small things in life I suppose.
viewerfromnihil
Vein-Marbled Tower
!That totally sucks though. I was having some butt problems for a while a couple of years ago. Then I found out that hemorrhoids and fischers (or whatever they're called) can be caused by pushing your shit out and by sitting on the toilet for too long. So I started attempting to do the opposite of push, which is very awkward and sometimes uncomfortable, and, what do you know, the poo still does its thing. I also hold off on assuming the throne until I have to run to it, so I only spend about 60 seconds on it. It seemed to work and I haven't had many issues since. I also eat a bunch of yogurt (plain greek, no strawberries and banana cream for my ass) and fiber, which seems to help too.
Last edited:
Krow
Garbage Connoisseur
Years ago when I worked at a machine shop I got the ol' finger up my ass when I strained myself lifting something.... Causing a small tear on my testicle, only to have it get fucking infected two weeks later. Felt like someone kicked me in the sack and never removed their foot for nearly a month... Doctor was like... We gotta check your prostate you faggot. Get a female doctor if you're having a problem that might require a finger in your ass. My doctor is a big tall motherfucker and he crammed his phallufinger deep into my stank hole covered in red grease. My starfish was fucked up for a week afterward. Having a sore butthole and sack at the same time is pretty much why I became an alcohol. Couldn't beat off, couldn't shit... Where's the fucking pleasure in life?
viewerfromnihil
Vein-Marbled Tower
Onder
Active Member
- Apr 10, 2006
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I just think it's pretty fucking annoying to be sober.
The Ozzman
Melted by feels
Carpe Mortem
Benevolently Batshit
- Aug 21, 2013
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http://www.turntablelab.com/products/junichi-masuda-pokemon-colored-vinyl-vinyl-lp
And I wasn't fucking quick enough, and frankly I have never been more depressed about not owning a particular score.
And I wasn't fucking quick enough, and frankly I have never been more depressed about not owning a particular score.
Carpe Mortem
Benevolently Batshit
- Aug 21, 2013
- 3,745
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Dak
mentat
Maybe all you dudes with ass issues need a squatty potty.
viewerfromnihil
Vein-Marbled Tower
The Ozzman
Melted by feels
Just get a shower head on the long hose so you can easily move it. That's what I use
PrincessHades
Active Member
- Apr 11, 2015
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PrincessHades
Active Member
- Apr 11, 2015
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Why did you allow someone to put their finger up your ass at work? Beat the fuck out of them, it's sexual assault to do that. Fingers up the ass don't hurt, but I guess if your lifting something...
End of Glory
Crucify Your Faith
PrincessHades
Active Member
- Apr 11, 2015
- 3,032
- 1,435
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End of Glory
Crucify Your Faith
