The Worst of Myspace (part whatever)

[Necromunchkin]

So I get an add request from this band:

http://www.myspace.com/firethornmetal


There was a point when I was thinking to myself "What if a band combined the least enjoyable parts of power, melodic death, black and even metalcore into a single style?" And then I realized, no, I never wondered that. I don't want to fucking know. But now I do. uke:

 

[EricT]

Holy balls... that is awful.

 

[Demilich]

I made it until the "vocals" started

 

[Krilons Resa]

holy shit! lol

 

[Captain Beard]

Oh fuck this.

 

[Reign in Acai]

My take on the cacophonous dins that are battering my senses like Susperia's gingered and seasoned snatch after a manaje thumb, is not a positive one. Good Christ, what the fuck is this shit?!?! The song "A Maniacal gaze" could rise a Sleepy Time Gorilla out of his slumber and in to the arms of a negar who mistakenly misplaced her child. "The Eternal Flames" starts off as a paean to the Gods who bore the world the gift of music, but milliseconds later ends up being an ode to those who have enough common sense not share their experience of that gift.

As for the rest of it...Silence brings deliverance.

 

[Nico]

I'm going to have to listen to an awful lot of Priest to wash out my ears after that.

 

[Reign in Acai]

I'm so sick of seeing these amateurs passing off such drivel as "metal". Music is only subjective to a point. This is the equivalent of a "painter" splashing oils wrecklessly on a canvas.

This is noise, nothing more.

 

[Ars Magna]

The sad thing is that there are droves of fuckers (and some "respected" outlets) that would probably eat this trash up. These fucks should be fired from rock and roll for even thinking this crap up.

 

[Evil?]

uke: x The biggest number ever.

 

[tone]

its funny how many haters are out there. dont be jealous b/c your crappy generic metal bands dont get attention or plays. and as for the ones who cant play in the first place.....well there you go, you cant play! roflcakesss!

i see one of you listened to all the songs, good for you!


but seriously, dont kid yourselves, you are all now closet fans, sure its trve to say what you're saying, but we dont mind having closet fans, you're all flamers in our eyes



<3 tone

 

[EricT]

Haha, oh please tell me that was actually a band member and not someone else!

 

[Evil?]

 

[anthraxsnax]

ok first of, im glad to see that you guys have bands.


who here even knows what a chromatic mediant relationship is?

12 tone serialism?


any takers?

HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

what is a quarter note?




you dont know?

if you do you googled it im sure.



i am a member of firethorn, and ill tell you right know, that vi vi IV V gets old the first 3 bars, fuck iron maiden, choose a different key than e minor - and stop playing in 4/4



even if we took the worst from power/death/black metal it would be more interesting that playing faggity ass glam rock.

IM SORRY, WE ARENT A MAIDEN COVER BAND. WE DONT PLAY OUT TO THE HIGHWAY. AND WE DONT WEAR LEATHER JACKETS.



if you dont like us, dont accept the friend request. cause honestly, we dont give a fuck what some corner of the earth forum says about our music.






you are all ney sayers.
and you sit and spend your time on FORUMS

go outside and breath fresh air.... maybe talk to a girl.



better yet, pick up instruments and show me your work.


this is asmodeus of FT, http://myspace.com/kylejudkins





if you want to say something, go ahead and say all you want... ill play your game, and i wont even read it, and ill laugh with my closed minded friends and down strangers because all know we have no balls of our own.






have a mod ban me plz. i dont even like royal carnage. this forum has already proved foul to me.

brutal death metal community has people that would actually APPLAUD this music, and have welcome thoughts.




funny... death metal? goregrind? = nice

and you people are worse than sharks.


have a nice day, and i just hope this got to one of you.

im not sure why i even bothered, i just figured i might make sense to atleast one of you.

 

[EricT]

If I knew the maximum amount of I could have in a post, I would definitely try and reach that right now.

ok first of, im glad to see that you guys have bands.

You know, because having a band is totally the say all end all of metal these days. If you don't have a band, you know shit about metal! And some of us do have bands. Of course, they'll never amount to the kvlt and tr00 status of FIRETHORN (OF FIRE!).

who here even knows what a chromatic mediant relationship is?

12 tone serialism?


any takers?

HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

what is a quarter note?




you dont know?

if you do you googled it im sure.

I lost brain cells reading this. Not in awe of your musical knowledge (congrats, you know what a quarter note is, NOW INVEST IN A FUCKING METRONOME), but the fact that you think that you're insulting people by showing your supposed "theory-cock", is laughable.

i am a member of firethorn, and ill tell you right know, that vi vi IV V gets old the first 3 bars, fuck iron maiden, choose a different key than e minor - and stop playing in 4/4

... cause you know, this forum is dedicated to Iron Maiden and all. We totally don't listen to any underground kvlt tr00 X-TREME METHUL band like you.

even if we took the worst from power/death/black metal it would be more interesting that playing faggity ass glam rock.

IM SORRY, WE ARENT A MAIDEN COVER BAND. WE DONT PLAY OUT TO THE HIGHWAY. AND WE DONT WEAR LEATHER JACKETS.



if you dont like us, dont accept the friend request. cause honestly, we dont give a fuck what some corner of the earth forum says about our music.

Now we listen to Glam Rock? Fuck! I think we need a poll to decide what the hell we listen to.

if you dont like us, dont accept the friend request. cause honestly, we dont give a fuck what some corner of the earth forum says about our music.

Yeah, cause you know, you're too kvlt and tr00 blasting your 3 Inches of Blood and Kalmah albums in your evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Toyota Corolla to actually pay attention to what others say about your music, to realize its shit.

you are all ney sayers.
and you sit and spend your time on FORUMS

go outside and breath fresh air.... maybe talk to a girl.



better yet, pick up instruments and show me your work.

Yeah, cause we spend all our time on forums.

Well, obviously someone must spend a lot of their time on forums, or on the internet period, to of found this thread only a couple hours after it being posted.

if you want to say something, go ahead and say all you want... ill play your game, and i wont even read it, and ill laugh with my closed minded friends and down strangers because all know we have no balls of our own.

Spend less time in a failing band and more time in school. The English Language will help in your future career options.

have a mod ban me plz. i dont even like royal carnage. this forum has already proved foul to me.

brutal death metal community has people that would actually APPLAUD this music, and have welcome thoughts.

Lol, brutal death metal community. Most "brutal death metal" communities wouldn't know their head from their ass when it comes to death metal. If it talks about raping a goat in the lyrics, they like it.

funny... death metal? goregrind? = nice

and you people are worse than sharks.

I do like well structured Death Metal. It is nice. Goregrind? Goregrind era Carcass is alright. And we are worse than sharks. You could say we even... jump the shark.

have a nice day, and i just hope this got to one of you.

im not sure why i even bothered, i just figured i might make sense to atleast one of you.

Your epic amount of tr00 kvlt und3rgr0und methul wit got to me. I will now enjoy your band. I shall listen to all the songs, and then I will put on the latest Three Inches of Blood album. YEAH!

 

[NAD]

and i just hope this got to one of you.

It moved me.

Also of note: I've been playing music since before all but one of ya'll were born.

 

[Captain Beard]

Hairy balls of the gods, this got good. Who knew that band lurked RC?

 

[Evil?]

Beware the penis!

 

[anthraxsnax]

actually someone here had the balls to message us about us being "discussed" on this forum.


no way in hell would i lurk such a pointless forum.


and fuck you. honestly - the guy who sent me the message listens to tool, radio head and metallica.


power metal is the epitome of 'rock and roll' and as much as i love power metal, i dont want to write it.



because quite frankly, its boring. and no we arent some trv3 l33t underground metal band... we're a fucking local band.

lets see what my friends have to say about your music... we'res those bands you guys are in??!?!



honestly, you kids just never fit in while you had a social life, so you get together on such depressing and lowly sites like this, to flame bands to feel powerful.



well guess what, picaso's works look like shit, his work reflected that of a child trying to paint... but he knows how to used a paint brush, and he knows how to paint.

and fuck you, im a theory wiz, and a good guitarist, and ill flaunt it, because some internet leech insulting my skill and knowledge is a joke.


put it to you this way.


you like any old bands??


lets see.... morbid angel... do they sound great?


slayer??

judas priest??!?!




because all of the people at that time SCOFFED at that heresy that rob halford called music... and all of their little friends did too... but they kept doing it, and thats how new things happen.



as for your shit, all you've done is laughed at the size of my junk, but im really curious to see how funny it is when you're the one whos being measured.


i know the english language well enough to communicate with you - i know that the only words cavemen know are ugghh and ghra!

 

[EricT]

Morbid Angel? Judas Priest? Slayer?

Nope, never heard of them.