This guy fucking LOVES me!

Apr 24, 2002
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www.novembersdoom.com
http://www.live4metal.com/reviews-263.htm

Novembers Doom - The Pale Haunt Departure (The End)* Review by Metal George

Wow, I can’t believe that metal renaissance man Dan Swano would allow his name to be attached to such a devastatingly mediocre and bottom-dwelling band as Novembers Doom. To be fair, it isn’t really the musical core of the band which is the proverbial albatross, so to speak. The name of that anchor goes by the name of Paul Kuhr, vocalist of said also-rans.*
For truth be told, the music contained within “The Pale Haunt Departure” is suitably melancholic and depressive, everything this sort of Death/Doom is supposed to be. However, the moment Mr. Kuhr opens his mouth with his absurdly childish and immature lyrical skills and inept pseudo-growl, everything the band has musically erected up until*

that point crumbles to dust.
It’s painfully evident that Novembers Doom desperately wishes to capture the vibe of the mid-90s Peaceville Doom Metal explosion, when bands like My Dying Bride and Anathema will still the master purveyors of 10 minute, epic dirges of neo-gothicism. However, those bands have long since grown up and achieved greater success by venturing on to greener pastures, at the same time creating true masterworks which display the true artistic talents that lay within those early, primordial efforts.
Of course, there will always be a market for nostalgia, as evidenced by the Bride themselves getting on the old horse again and riding the Doom/Death train for all it’s worth, to mixed results. Within this market lay the fortunes of Novembers Doom, for their genre of music is not a forward thinking one, but one with an eye solidly affixed to the past.
Not that this is necessarily a terrible thing, but in this case, I simply feel that most fans of a certain age (like myself), enjoyed this sort of thing the FIRST time it came around, and may not be totally “on board” with going through it a second time, especially from a band like N. Doom, who isn’t even performing it that well in the first place.
Again, I need to refer back to the track record of American bands attempting to mimic a genre that has already been perfected by their European counterparts; it very rarely is successful. “The Pale Haunt Departure” tries oh-so desperately to enter the upper echelons of the Doom Titans, yet even when the album succeeds (the end of “Autumn Reflection”, and “Dark World Burden”, where Swano himself makes a guitar appearance), the fact that Paul Kuhr seems to be unhappy unless he’s continually doing his best Aaron Stainthorpe (MDB) imitation will always keep this band from being anything more than an opening act.
If I want to hear real emotional Doom/Death, I’ll go listen to the British masters, or old Katatonia. If I want to hear a real American band performing this style well, I’ll listen to While Heaven Wept, and leave Novembers Doom to endlessly imitate and never innovate. A shame… www.novembersdoom.com* | www.theendrecords.com*
 
If anyone would like to share a comment with George, here you go!

georgebio.jpg


George Pacheco
E-Mail Address: metalgeorge666@hotmail.com
Age/Birthdate: 25/July 16, 1979.
 
SHIT! I was just going to cut and paste that review for this forum! What a fucking tosser that guy is.

He makes a habit of personally attacking bands.
Read another one of his reviews:

"Hecate Enthroned - Redimus (Candlelight) By Metal George
Honestly, is there anyone out there who can say they're a fan of these British plagiarists? If there is, I've never met one, and with due cause, because Hecate Enthroned have literally made a living out of unabashed Cradle of Filth mimicry. Hell, the bio even states, "will appeal to fans of Cradle of Filth"! If that isn't truth in advertising, I don't know what is! Featuring a vocalist (one John Richard) who, for about 5 minutes, played bass for the Filthy ones, Hecate Enthroned, album after album, have been content in following about 5 steps behind everyone else in the metal scene. Apart for a momentary dalliance with Death Metal leanings on 1999's Kings of Chaos, every record this band has released has been a
shameless tug on their betters' coattails. It is apparent within every track here on Redimus, as well. From opener "Soil of Sin", to "No One Hears", on through "The Face of Betrayal" and "As One", this is total Cradle of Filth worship. The same chord progressions, the same sense of melody, identical rhythms and gothic atmosphere, and a similar vocal style (albeit a tad lower nowadays). Play this opposite any Cradle release, and the photocopy is painfully obvious. So bottom line, is Redimus a bad record? Yes, and in the worst possible way. It is a dishonest album; one that has not a single drop of creativity, honesty, or originality. Moreover, it is one that seeks to insult the listener's intelligence. To think that any self-respecting Cradle of Filth fan, or any metal fan for that matter, would give this more than passing thought is unfathomable. Even at their best ("The Shining Delight", "An Eternal Belief" Hecate Enthroned are nothing more than a second rate cover act. Redimus is one of the most useless records of the year. Avoid at all costs."


An honestly written negative review is one thing, but to launch a personal attack on a band is crossing the line.
 
That guy sounds like a bitter, jealous douche. I think the album is amazing. Now if I could only find a way to get it out of my wife's car.

BTW, too bad Chris Davison didnt review you for live4metal. That guy practically blew us in his review of Cryptobeast.
 
Your wife listens to metal? What a lucky man! :tickled:

Mine listens to the most unbearable pop imagineable.
Several of her cds have gone 'missing', if you know what I mean.
This morning I snuck 'Into the Grave' into her player.
The divorce papers should be arriving shortly. :lol:
 
In the spirit of Metal George... am I the only one who thinks that the dude's beard strongly resembles 70's-porn muff?
 
Paul: Did you know I was going to get smashed when you posted that email addy? And if so... should I post logs of my email correspondance with George?
 
Just because some dude got beat up and likely violated with a bar of soap during gym class in high school doesn't give him reason to take out that aggression at metal bands/members via reviews years later. Seriously though, I haven't seem him lash out with as much prejudice as he did above compared to the other reviews he wrote.