The last post is quite meaningful. Thank you, Valerie. "Anything but live in here and now", just what I feel. You're too newbie to know it, but I often expressed my will of change this world, and the strong belief on that, a feasible way to go through. That was the expression of my wishes, the sound of my inner battle I can't keep inside.
Right now, and thanx to my lack of success changing my own life (for the moment), I'm feeling actually bad, with quite impressive mood changes, and without solid proofs about any possibility of change to better times.
Yeah, I know deeply all these optimistic stuff about believe in my possibilities and skills, etc, so don't repeat yourself if you're thinking sth similar. I still believe on that, but when you were hungry over the years, it's hard to keep believing there's food somewhere.
This is NOT new in my life, and I see this is NOT unusual. Several doubts are playing black unholy metal in my mind (noisy!), and dunno the right way to define my life. ¿How to live in a world that does its best to enforce you to live under certain rules? ¿How can I keep looking for food when I feel my stomach so empty? ¿How to change that world when it seems to don't wanna change itself?
|ngenius.
