You laugh, you lose

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http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/7647/paranoidboner.jpg

Fuck do I hate that. Doesn't help that I wear baggy pants so what would ordinarily look like a small one instead looks like I'm padding myself with a roll of socks.

EDIT: The solution to #2 is just to speed walk everywhere and never stay behind a woman in semi-close proximity for more than several seconds.
 
The only thing with potential for funny in that was the kid running after milking himself, and there they overdo it by having him run back and forth to make absolutely certain that the audience doesn't miss their once-a-season good joke.