Alec's Tavern : The Frost Blast

[Defiance]

ending a 5 year relationship on the phone??? that's pretty callous!! i can't believe some girls can be so cruel... *hugs*

Indeed… it wasn't nice. We were going to meet on Tuesday to have the talk, but apparently my "I love you" SMSs that I sent on Monday night "affected" her, so she called me. I had figured out that she was going to break up with me so I went to my best buddy's house, and well, things didn't turn out so well. I know that she was really hurt (didn't cheat on her), and that she didn't want to break up. But the hurt was more than the love, and so we've separated. I'd like to think that we can be together again… I hope so, but I don't think it'll happen any time soon. What really bothers me was the "promise me you'll take care" stuff, fuck, how can I take care if I'm not with her? I was really getting pissed off at that moment, so I basically told her "let's end this now, I love you" and then hung up.

Ahh so fucking depressed. I was even going to visit a psychologist because she said I had issues and was, well, insane. I hate psychologists but I was going to do that for her. Before I went to CO she said something like "last chance". There was no last chance, we ended the relationship the same day I came back.

And now I do have to go to a f* psychologist to have all my Asperger and deliriums scientifically diagnosed (to see if they're real or if I'm just inventing them). Ahh bollocks, not nice.

 

[Elvina]

hmm that really sucks... But it sounds like there is hope. If she still cares about you but is very hurt, time might help. When the feeling of loneliness without you starts hurting her more than whatever you did to cause her this pain she might eventually come back... I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, but the best thing is just take time and wait, and not force anything... The first few weeks after the breakup are really the toughest because you need to learn to live a new - single - life, where everything what you used to do together - all the small things - will be reminding you of her... If she still cares about you, then it's going to be just as tough for her too... Let's hope she'll realize she can't live without you!

So you want to visit a psychologist just because she told you to? Do you yourself also believe she is right and you really need that? Because that's what i tell my bf almost every day too. And although i do really mean it and things get really seriously insane here at times, i don't really expect him to actually do it...

 

[Defiance]

hmm that really sucks... But it sounds like there is hope. If she still cares about you but is very hurt, time might help. When the feeling of loneliness without you starts hurting her more than whatever you did to cause her this pain she might eventually come back... I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, but the best thing is just take time and wait, and not force anything... The first few weeks after the breakup are really the toughest because you need to learn to live a new - single - life, where everything what you used to do together - all the small things - will be reminding you of her... If she still cares about you, then it's going to be just as tough for her too... Let's hope she'll realize she can't live without you!

So you want to visit a psychologist just because she told you to? Do you yourself also believe she is right and you really need that? Because that's what i tell my bf almost every day too. And although i do really mean it and things get really seriously insane here at times, i don't really expect him to actually do it...

As my lit. professor says, "thanks "Elvina", you're a sweetheart".
I guess there's still hope, but I don't really want to think about it.
Yeah she did mean to go to the psych., seriously. My grandma was schizophrenic, so there's a tendency for craziness in the family. I know a psychiatrist might be better, but I hate the pills they prescribe; they're more damaging to you than anything else.

This was pretty funny:

 

[Allfader]

Well, man.. you must be strong, for you specially. I remember when I ended a 7-year relationship (like 3 yrs ago, I even was about to marry her!!), 'twas quite the shock. If you were a good gf with her, she'll be back to your side unless she's stupid or something (no offense). I think you were, at least to keep her interested on you 5 years, that counts. You'll miss her a lot for a while, but try to keep calm and leave her alone; enjoy your new loneliness and you'll be alright with time.

I'm not sure why you must see a psychologist or something, but I believe that one can do well if one really want to. I was heavily depressed at the beginning of this year - after the break-up with my latest Gf - and I thought I needed help (I had some medical treatment for depression in secondary) but you know? I just felt all that pain, swallowed all those tears, thought about what I did wrong and what she did wrong (VERY important), learnt some lessons and finally moved on. 'Twas a hard task to accomplish, but it's possible. You seem to be a very smart guy, so I hope you'll be able to manage the situation with your brain. Anyway, if it's just too much for you ask for the precise help.

If that's how you feel, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to listen the Prophecy Rec Compilation, it's very depressing! but maybe it'll help you to shed some tears and let go all those feelings.

 

[Defiance]

Well, man.. you must be strong, for you specially. I remember when I ended a 7-year relationship (like 3 yrs ago, I even was about to marry her!!), 'twas quite the shock. If you were a good gf with her, she'll be back to your side unless she's stupid or something (no offense). I think you were, at least to keep her interested on you 5 years, that counts. You'll miss her a lot for a while, but try to keep calm and leave her alone; enjoy your new loneliness and you'll be alright with time.

I'm not sure why you must see a psychologist or something, but I believe that one can do well if one really want to. I was heavily depressed at the beginning of this year - after the break-up with my latest Gf - and I thought I needed help (I had some medical treatment for depression in secondary) but you know? I just felt all that pain, swallowed all those tears, thought about what I did wrong and what she did wrong (VERY important), learnt some lessons and finally moved on. 'Twas a hard task to accomplish, but it's possible. You seem to be a very smart guy, so I hope you'll be able to manage the situation with your brain. Anyway, if it's just too much for you ask for the precise help.

If that's how you feel, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to listen the Prophecy Rec Compilation, it's very depressing! but maybe it'll help you to shed some tears and let go all those feelings.

Thanks for the kind words . Well I do feel I need to go to a psych, what a waste of money buy hey I've got issues and not only emotional ones. I already cried a hell lot, but there's still more to come. It was such a long relationship… we started when I was 19 and she was 18, so key parts of our lives/personalities were made together. She was the first and only woman I've ever slept with, and the amount of things that remind me of her, right here in my room, is staggering.

 

[Defiance]

Ahh just deleted the one pic I had of my girl on my FlickR, and another one of my (former?) best friend who became a drug addict and so now we have barely anything in common because, besides that he follows the way of "Jaa". Oh bollocks I feel like shit.

I apologise for hijacking the thread to vent my personal problems, but I really need to put them somewhere; I really like you all guys and gals so I'm sure you understand.

 

[lefay82]

defiance, i understand you when you say you have some psychic diseases in your family because i've too and i'm fucking scared that one day i will go completely mad (i mean madder than i am )
i think it is totally normal and physiological now to cry and desperate, i don't see anything ill or worrying in this. so cry and desperate how much you want.
but then raise again your head and look to the future. is the only advice i can give you.
you, we all, have an inner force we don't know to have. we all. it's just a question to find it whereever it hides and find the will to move on and survive.
this kind of inner force comes out in the hardest times, i know it's tough and difficult, but you cannot cry at yourself forever, shouting how unlucky you're or such.
believe me, i'm not judging or criticizing you. there are moments to cry, and it's perfectly right and good, it can help, but i'm saying you not to immobilize in this state.
what i've learned from my experiences is that the will makes a lot of difference, there are some ill people that doesn't want to recover, and hopes that only medicines will get them out from that state. it's the worst approach that people can have toward illness, and also toward everything in life.
i know some moments looks so black and without escape, but you're the escape! don't forget it!

i cannot do anything more for you, being so distant, than give you a new perspective, some hope and courage.
i know some things should never happen, but sometimes i think we all share the same destiny on this earth, the only difference is how we decide to front this. try to be positive, i know it's hard, but life doesn't end. we are all lucky in some ways, someone has a good and strong family, someone friends, someone has the faith, someone can be helped by music. but all of us have some still points from which we can gain some new strenght, in which he can hide when things go wrong and find some consolation.
and try to learn a lot from people that you have near you. this can truly help.
i remember what a friend of mine told me when his father died "i was lucky because i was with him for 32 years, and someone didn't have this chance" this phrase helped me a lot when my father died two years ago when i was 26. find the strenght to think positive and treasure all the good things, even if little, and all the good memories you had with this person. no one will steal them to you!

i hope everything will turn better for you, with all the fibers of my being!
good luck defiance!!!

 

[Defiance]

^ Grazie, cara mia, I really appreciate it. Even if it seems like it, I haven't been depressed the entire time, I gotta work hehe . But it's hard, thinking of all the things we did together and how it all came to this. What hurts me is that it both of us are to blame. She had been unhappy for some time, but didn't tell me so. Why express all your feelings, your anguish, when you're breaking up? With me, I didn't notice, so my lack of care for her is to blame on my part too.

 

[tobz]

Well, here's a little pick me up for you. Don't know if any of you guys and gals have seen it already, but I just stumbled upon it, and thought it was pure brilliance.
Honestly;" He's called The Crawling Chaos, beause he hasn't learnt to walk yet" is probably the best line I've heared in years!

 

[NovembersDirge]

On other news, Colorado was great and I'm back in CR.

And besides that, I think that my girlfriend is going to break up with me tomorrow. There goes a five-year relationship.

And besides that, I just got fired from my job.

I feel weird.

Well shit. That fucking sucks, dude.

There doesn't seem to be much I can say to you, really. I mean, I think everyone else hit that on the head. But I know how you must feel right now and I really hope that shit turns around for you good and quick.

It's never bad to see a shrink btw. You maybe don't need meds or anything, but even just to talk about the issues, and analyze all the shit you've been through. Speaking from personal experience, I know that it's hard to not to take unemployment personally, and a counselor might help keep that shit in perspective.

Good luck with all that stuff.

 

[Defiance]

Well, here's a little pick me up for you. Don't know if any of you guys and gals have seen it already, but I just stumbled upon it, and thought it was pure brilliance.
Honestly;" He's called The Crawling Chaos, beause he hasn't learnt to walk yet" is probably the best line I've heared in years!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOHJUrcVdJk

hahahahaha brilliant! Haha yeah the "crawling" part was the best part hahaha.

I like the "music taken from the Shaman King OST (without permission)" part .

Well shit. That fucking sucks, dude.

There doesn't seem to be much I can say to you, really. I mean, I think everyone else hit that on the head. But I know how you must feel right now and I really hope that shit turns around for you good and quick.

It's never bad to see a shrink btw. You maybe don't need meds or anything, but even just to talk about the issues, and analyze all the shit you've been through. Speaking from personal experience, I know that it's hard to not to take unemployment personally, and a counselor might help keep that shit in perspective.

Good luck with all that stuff.

Thanks, means a lot. I'll probably call a psychiatrist tomorrow, let's see how it goes.

 

[Naglfar]

And now I do have to go to a f* psychologist to have all my Asperger and deliriums scientifically diagnosed (to see if they're real or if I'm just inventing them). Ahh bollocks, not nice.

Probably should see a psychologist / psychiatrist for that sort of thing... especially if you have some chronic sickness already, like diabetes. It's hard to appreciate as you're living your life as usual, but that sort of thing puts pressure on your brain in ways you're probably not aware of yourself. I only say this from experience, when you get ill, you're not the same person (even if you can't perceive it).

 

[lefay82]

Probably should see a psychologist / psychiatrist for that sort of thing... especially if you have some chronic sickness already, like diabetes. It's hard to appreciate as you're living your life as usual, but that sort of thing puts pressure on your brain in ways you're probably not aware of yourself. I only say this from experience, when you get ill, you're not the same person (even if you can't perceive it).

yeah that's true!!!
i've a cronical disease too (no not psychic ) and it changed my life in a heavy way... well we should rename this forum "vintersorg hospital" instead ...
and i assure it changes life and personality. i've changed a lot in the last years and i'm aware of it. don't know if i've changed in a better or worse way, just changed. i've changed my point of view towards a lot of things, i've changed my priorities, i've opened my eyes about a lot of relationships, about some so-called friends, and decided to keep alive only those relationships which i considered true. this made me move away from a lot of people, but at the same time get closer to some other and open up myself more (even i'm a very friendly person i have some problems to talk about too much personal facts), it's like i started to see the world through another pair of eyes, different from those eyes i was given at birth.
and yes it's very stressful to deal everyday with some kind of cronical problems, but i somehow think that we are able to appreciate life in a deepest way than 100% healthy persons, and also the little things that make life wonderful.

 

[Qu Appelle]

Support from me as well, and you're not alone in this.

I'm seeing my psychiatrist on Friday, so you're definitely not alone!

 

[Defiance]

We're all just a bunch of crazy Vintersorg fans . Thanks, everyone. Really.

 

[Elvina]

euhm... is visiting psychologist / psychiatrist that cheap or something? or is it covered by health insurance? because none of that is the case here. So i may be quite crazy, but not that crazy to pay 100 euro for an hour to talk to somebody... I did go when it was for free for the students of my college, but i don't think i want to pay that much for that kind of help now...

 

[Hitatshi]

I like to run when i´m feeling down. Just running until i almost collapse. Helps to sort out ones thoughts.

 

[Defiance]

euhm... is visiting psychologist / psychiatrist that cheap or something? or is it covered by health insurance? because none of that is the case here. So i may be quite crazy, but not that crazy to pay 100 euro for an hour to talk to somebody... I did go when it was for free for the students of my college, but i don't think i want to pay that much for that kind of help now...

Yeah it's pretty expensive here too, ca. 70€. Actually, the health/social insurance covers it, and I get "double" coverage because I work for the Uni, but I'm going to a private one. (I'd have to wait a lot if I used the public ones.)

I like to run when i´m feeling down. Just running until i almost collapse. Helps to sort out ones thoughts.

Welcome to the forum! Weird first post .

 

[lefay82]

but I'm going to a private one. (I'd have to wait a lot if I used the public ones.)

i see that everywhere it works the same, i don't know if to have my spirit lifted or not
if you pay for an exam or something you will have it booked for the next day, if you wait for the free public exams/visits you have to wait months.
i had some problems with my knee this summer. it hurted for more than one month, i took soft painkillers and heavier ones but nothing worked.
at the end i called to have a magnetic resonance, and i had my appointment booked for the end of november. i thought "whaaaat?" i could die if i had something really serious...
i have the fortune to know someone who works in the hospital, so i get my appointment for the week after, without passing throught the call-center, but paying the normal price of the public service (which isn't free for some kind of exams, but still have human rates, you pay something like 40 euro for the resonance using the public service and 300 euro as a private!!!! ) but if it wasn't like that i would be still here waiting for the exam, considering that it's the beginning of november right now

 

[Hitatshi]

Welcome to the forum! Weird first post .

Thank you! Well, i haven´t really had the urge of postning before, since i usually dont have anything important to say. But in times of depression, concrete protips are hard to come by so i felt obligated. : >