Awkward Situation thread

Another awkward moment is after you've told a girl that you were gonna rock her world and then proceed to give her 2 minutes of jack-rabbit lovin'.

That's why I don't put out. I play the girl role. Turn down 3/4 of all women who want you, then put it off when you decide to bang a chic. Then by the time she gets you, she's too happy to have you to notice your half flacid, 4 inch penis lasting 12 seconds. Word.
 
That's why I don't put out. I play the girl role. Turn down 3/4 of all women who want you, then put it off when you decide to bang a chic. Then by the time she gets you, she's too happy to have you to notice your half flacid, 4 inch penis lasting 12 seconds. Word.
Either that or flip her a $20, slap her ass, wink, shoot her pointy-gun-finger and say, "Don't say I never gave ya nuthin'."

That should smooth things over...
 
My phone went off once in a huge school assembly last week...with Torsofuck's Raped by Elephants as my tone.

Those who've heard the intro should be able to imagine the disturbed look on everyone's faces as they looked at me.
 
One time in Hong Kong me and my friends were hanging out and we decided to watch a porn film (no whacking off) and my friend with questionable sexuality said "this is my favorite part of porn" when the chick was sucking the dudes cock. Everyone in the room simultaneously turned around slowly and gave him the "o_O" look.
 
It's his extremely gay voice that made us automatically associate it with gayness in our heads.
 
That's why I don't put out. I play the girl role. Turn down 3/4 of all women who want you, then put it off when you decide to bang a chic. Then by the time she gets you, she's too happy to have you to notice your half flacid, 4 inch penis lasting 12 seconds. Word.

I am going to try this sir. You are brilliant.
 
So I was on a really crowded bus back from college. There was a very pretty girl sat opposite me (but not next to me). Anyway I glanced at her a bit and she seemed to smile a bit. Anyway she put her feet up on the seat and shook them for some reason. I looked and she noticed and she did it more. The thing is she was wearing those jesus sandles that girls wear now and I (sadly) quite like girls feet. Anyway her friend mumbled ugh he likes feet.
 
One time in Hong Kong me and my friends were hanging out and we decided to watch a porn film (no whacking off) and my friend with questionable sexuality said "this is my favorite part of porn" when the chick was sucking the dudes cock. Everyone in the room simultaneously turned around slowly and gave him the "o_O" look.
that is definitely gay because the dude's cock is the organ in focus during bj scenes. i always fast forward to the humping myself.
 
i hate when someone compliments you and say shit like, oh your such a great person , or i like you, and after you say yeah i liek you too and they say, you dont have to just say it because i did you know... fuck off man TAKE THE COMPLIMENT OR DIE IN A HOLE.
 
Years back, an ex-ex-ex-ex of mine and I were hard at it. This was in the bedroom of her flat, and the next unit is directly next door, so I'd imagine some sound carries. Let's just say we werent very quiet. AT ALL. In fact, we made a fucking HELL of a racket.

She's a head turner, no doubt about it, a real stunner, and as luck would have it, her neighbour had a huge crush on her, she'd told me.

So the next morning, as we walked out to get some brekkie at a local cafe, we were leaving her unit, and as she closed the door behind her, the neighbour and his family came out, and he was staring her, wide eyed in amazement with a massive smile on his face.

I didn't know whether to have an ego the size of the Grand Canyon or run like hell in embarrassment because the look on his family's faces weren't quite as approving :lol:
 
This

Schwärzung;8300816 said:
I've had a police car drive past me while I was shitting on the side of a country road. Just gave me an awkward stare, which is surprising because I'm pretty sure public defecation is illegal here.

= pic one, any one. Or fuck it, TWO.

Academy_Award_Oscar.jpg
 
Once at a bar some slut said she would give me a blow job and stuff, and she made it sound really good. The awkward thing is she didn't even follow through with it! Awkward? I think so.

:lol: I was wondering if he would! You could tell how much he liked her from the look on his face. This dude was in lurve.

How do you figure that. You think he really likes the idea of someone fucking the girl he's in love with? lol