Bad joke a day -thread
- Thread starter ahjteam
- Start date
MT01
Member
Why does the statistics say that 12% of the women get domestic abuse?
- Because the 12% wouldn't keep their mouth shut
- Because the 12% wouldn't keep their mouth shut
MT01
Member
Timmy, a young Downs Syndrome kid, was waiting patiently in line at the ice cream van.
Eventually it was his turn so he stepped up to the window where the smiley ice cream man said “What would you like sonny ?”
“A ice cream please” replied Timmy
Ice cream man says “Would you like nuts on it”
“Ooooh yes please” came the excited reply.
The ice cream man sprinkled the nuts then said “And would you like sauce on it too?”
“Ooooh sauce yes please” blurted Timmy.
The ice cream man then said “and which colour sauce would you like, red or green”
Timmy thought a moment then said “It doesn’t really matter Mister, I’m going to drop it in a minute”
Eventually it was his turn so he stepped up to the window where the smiley ice cream man said “What would you like sonny ?”
“A ice cream please” replied Timmy
Ice cream man says “Would you like nuts on it”
“Ooooh yes please” came the excited reply.
The ice cream man sprinkled the nuts then said “And would you like sauce on it too?”
“Ooooh sauce yes please” blurted Timmy.
The ice cream man then said “and which colour sauce would you like, red or green”
Timmy thought a moment then said “It doesn’t really matter Mister, I’m going to drop it in a minute”
What do you get when you put a donkey steak on a pan?
- Hot ass
MT01: Eventho the "armless deaf dumb blind kid gets cancer for xmas" is funny because it was so over the top because it is most likely not going to happen, making fun of disabled people in general isn't cool.
- Hot ass
MT01: Eventho the "armless deaf dumb blind kid gets cancer for xmas" is funny because it was so over the top because it is most likely not going to happen, making fun of disabled people in general isn't cool.
MT01
Member
My Mother was severely mentally and physically disabled after an accident before she died last year. I had to feed her and change her diapers (as our American brothers would call them).That doesn't mean that I can't enjoy a joke about disability involving a fictional character though or call some one a retard when they are acting foolish. One thing is one thing, another is another. Also I'd like to point out that I don't think that making fun of disability is cool I just have a very broad and robust sense of humour and this is a "Bad Joke a day" thread afterall.
digitaldeath
Member
Chris_P_Critter
Freeze Tag Assassin
What's the difference between an asshole and a refrigerator...
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out of it.
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out of it.
Hahahahahaahahaha, very nice dude 
And I think this thread has somewhat lost its way, cuz the original idea as I understand it was for BAD jokes, and man oh man, I have the ultimate stinker! It's my dad's favorite (of course, Dad's always tell the worst 
):
So there's a communist couple living deep behind the Iron Curtain back during the Cold War days. Their names are Rudolph and Olga. Rudolph comes home from work on the communal farm one day.
"Rudolph, where have you been? I had dinner ready an hour ago, and now it's stone cold"
"I'm sorry Olga, but it's pouring rain out there, I couldn't see 2 feet in front of me!"
Olga looked out the window, and declared "Rudolph, you schlaka, it's definitely not raining, that's snow"
To which Rudolph replies..."Look Olga - Rudolph the red knows rain, dear!"
And I think this thread has somewhat lost its way, cuz the original idea as I understand it was for BAD jokes, and man oh man, I have the ultimate stinker!
It's my dad's favorite (of course, Dad's always tell the worst ):So there's a communist couple living deep behind the Iron Curtain back during the Cold War days. Their names are Rudolph and Olga. Rudolph comes home from work on the communal farm one day.
"Rudolph, where have you been? I had dinner ready an hour ago, and now it's stone cold"
"I'm sorry Olga, but it's pouring rain out there, I couldn't see 2 feet in front of me!"
Olga looked out the window, and declared "Rudolph, you schlaka, it's definitely not raining, that's snow"
To which Rudolph replies..."Look Olga - Rudolph the red knows rain, dear!"
MT01
Member
My horse businees has had a bad patch recently, but it's getting better
In fact you could now say it's stable.
In fact you could now say it's stable.
Chris_P_Critter
Freeze Tag Assassin
So, this guy is in the bathroom blow-drying his cock. His wife comes home from work, finds him with the blow-dryer and asks "Hi honey, what are you doing"? He says.....
"Oh nothing, I'm just warming up your dinner".
"Oh nothing, I'm just warming up your dinner".
spioraid
Fancy a pint? Or two?
So this explorer goes to the Amazon to document a rare and strange bird that has recently shown itself along the waterside. It kills at seemingly random times, with never a clear explanation as to how, the person just ends up dead. So he hires a few locals to help guide him down the river to look for this bird.
After a few days of going the Amazon, one the guides points and shouts, "Foo! Foo!" Right then, a bird flew overhead nearly hitting the explorer, but then vanished before he could catch a good glimpse. This happened 2 more times that, each time with a guide shooting, "Foo!" whenever he saw one.
Right before dark one the guides points and shouts again, "Foo! Foo!" This time the explorer is able to see the bird, take a quick few pictures of it before it flies away. Unfortunately, right when the 'foo' bird was overhead, it took a dump on the explorers shoulder.
Suddenly all the guides were shouting at the explorer, "No! No! No!" and pointing to the dump on his shoulder. Without taking heed of the guide's advice, he brushes the crap off his shoulder, but then suddenly dies.
One guide looks at the other and says, "Well you know what they say. If the foo sh*ts..."
After a few days of going the Amazon, one the guides points and shouts, "Foo! Foo!" Right then, a bird flew overhead nearly hitting the explorer, but then vanished before he could catch a good glimpse. This happened 2 more times that, each time with a guide shooting, "Foo!" whenever he saw one.
Right before dark one the guides points and shouts again, "Foo! Foo!" This time the explorer is able to see the bird, take a quick few pictures of it before it flies away. Unfortunately, right when the 'foo' bird was overhead, it took a dump on the explorers shoulder.
Suddenly all the guides were shouting at the explorer, "No! No! No!" and pointing to the dump on his shoulder. Without taking heed of the guide's advice, he brushes the crap off his shoulder, but then suddenly dies.
One guide looks at the other and says, "Well you know what they say. If the foo sh*ts..."
Chryst Krispies
Vanilla Gorilla
Chris_P_Critter
Freeze Tag Assassin
Chris_P_Critter
Freeze Tag Assassin
An ugly bitch walks into the store with her two kids. A man stops and asks, "Hey, are your kids twins". The ugly bitch says, "No...Why"? The man replies...
"I thought they were twins. I couldn't imagine anyone fucking you twice".
"I thought they were twins. I couldn't imagine anyone fucking you twice".
Fox Mulder
The Truth Is Out There
The Unavoidable
jättebög
How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Three to change it, one to write his Ph.D. thesis, and three-quarters to renormalize the wave function.
Jeff
FULLMETALSPEEDO
Member
Another way Helen Keller's parents punished her......
They left a plunger in the toilet.
What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff?
...Nothing, she had her mittens on.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
...You would too if your name was (in deaf kid speak) "smaosdfmasdmmfafbah"!
They left a plunger in the toilet.
What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff?
...Nothing, she had her mittens on.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
...You would too if your name was (in deaf kid speak) "smaosdfmasdmmfafbah"!
