Bad joke a day -thread
- Thread starter ahjteam
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FULLMETALSPEEDO
Member
EerieVon
Member
There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.
She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.
When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.
She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.
The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."
Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.
As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"
Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."
She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.
When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.
She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.
The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."
Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.
As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"
Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."
Chryst Krispies
Vanilla Gorilla
uke:
Chris_P_Critter
Freeze Tag Assassin
Chris_P_Critter
Freeze Tag Assassin
Daffy Duck gets himself a Hotel Room, and is about to fuck this really hot chick. He calls the reception desk and asks for a condom, and the receptionist asks, "Should I put it on your bill". Daffy says...
"Don't be thucking thupid, I'd thuficate".
HARDY HAR HAR!
"Don't be thucking thupid, I'd thuficate".
HARDY HAR HAR!
EerieVon
Member
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."
Chryst Krispies
Vanilla Gorilla
Hey David Carradine, you wanna go grab some dinner?
Naw, I'm just going to go to my room and HANG AROUND for a bit.
TOO SOON?????
Naw, I'm just going to go to my room and HANG AROUND for a bit.
TOO SOON?????
Metal Overload
Member
- Sep 8, 2005
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Hey David Carradine, you wanna go grab some dinner?
Naw, I'm just going to go to my room and choke my penis and throat with some ropes, just for fun.
in a serious way, RIP David.
Naw, I'm just going to go to my room and choke my penis and throat with some ropes, just for fun.
in a serious way, RIP David.
jrt12
Member
ah man, you guys should seen my post yesterday in the "deaden a closet, suggestions needed" thread...
Metal Overload
Member
- Sep 8, 2005
- 1,778
- 0
- 36
Mike Albert from megadeth is coming out with a album. I can't wait. It's going to be badd ass. I've seen him perform live twice and loved every song. june 16th
MT01
Member
Uladyne
Greg
I just read an article on "The Dangers of Heavy Drinking". Scared the shit out of me. So that's it, after today, no more fucking reading.
My Personal nerdy fave:
Q: How many ears does Spock have?
A: Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
My Personal nerdy fave:
Q: How many ears does Spock have?
A: Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
scorpio01169
Member
A boy is doing his homework in the kitchen, and he comes across a problem he cant solve. so he goes to his dad who is reading a newspaper in the living room and asks his dad " dad, whats the difference between potentially and reality?" his dad thinks for a few seconds, looks at his son and says "son i want you run upstairs and ask your mother if she would sleep with the mailman for a million dollars. so the boy runs upstairs and asks his mom and his mom says "hell yes i would sleep with the mailman for a million dollars". he goes back downstairs and tells his dad mom says yes she would sleep with the mailman for a million dollars. his father then says." i want you run back upstairs and ask your big sister if she would sleep with the mailman for a million dollars. so the boy runs upstairs and asks his sister and his sister says "hell yes i would sleep with the mailman for a million dollars". he goes back downstairs and tells his dad sis says yes she would sleep with the mailman for a million dollars. his father then says. you see son....potentially we are millionaires....but in reality we live with two hos
Chris_P_Critter
Freeze Tag Assassin
Chris_P_Critter
Freeze Tag Assassin
This is from an email I recieved the other day, but it's fucking hysterical, especially if you have kids. 
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight heavy metal clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight heavy metal clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home
