The most common band shirts for retards (actual retarded people, not "retards") I've seen must be Metallica shirts with the logo dating from the Load/Reload days. Don't ask me why that is.
Ooh ooh! I have what must be the gayest Metallica shirt ever. Load tour shirt with a photo of the band all wearing wifebeaters on the back. And it's white.
I have a ride the lightning shirt that I've had since I was 12. It kind of fell into pieces when I turned 15 though due to the fact that I wore it every other day for a year straight.