Drunktard Stories

dreams_of_eternal_hate said:
^then go on and finally tell it! :mad:
Click to expand...

ok, so sleeping space is limited and nobody likes to sleep on the floor. so me, my friend koren, and my friend zack all crash in this one bed in the spooning position in this order... Me<Koren<Zack.

so i'm layin behind koren and we're messin around some and i'm doin all my fore play moves if you get the point. so when i'm done down there, i move to the chest area naturally :p and korens moves her hand over but, i barely noticed and eventually we all fall asleep.

the next day me and zack were talking about the night before and he was like "dude, koren gave me a hand job, and i fingered her" so i was like "oh that's cool, hold on... when?" he replies,"when we were in the bed." so i tell him about my experience and we have a good laugh. then i call koren talk about the night before and she doesn't even mention my friend zack. and vice versa for when he called her :lol: not quite a threesome but, very weird :lol:
 
the funniest part is, is that she was wackin him off, while i was feelin her up, while he was fingering her :lol: just a big circle of "what the fuck is goin on?" :lol:
 
lol nihil I bet you all had fun! :lol:
I have one, we were in Spain and it was our last night in there, we were going to leave the next day. So, we go to a bar, drink a few beers, like 4, then we change the bar because we have these cupons for the other one. We go there and start drinking more, a whiskey shot, a few other shots, another beer etc. Then I rememeber I have a 2dl bottle of tequila in my pocket. I pull it out and open. The other bartender was right there drinking with us, wasted, just as we were, and the other one was just watching, but neither one took it away from me.
So that's about the point when I blacked out, and the next thing I remember was reaching out for my pocket and finding that my bottle of tequila was empty!! Then I vaquely remember tripping down in the women's bathroom floor puking... Then we left, I don't know how we made it back to the hotel but we did, I went to my room and puked for an hour or so in the bathroom (I took a bath actually, it was really fun, especially coz I managed not to puke in the bath tub where I was lying :lol: ) and went to bed.
Then next morning we had to wake up at 7:00 or something, and with a massive hungover to the bus and then 6 hours in a plane. I have to admit that the feeling was nowhere near nice.
 
Mystique1721 said:
Some bad shit is gonna happen, most likely someone you know will end up decapitated or grossly deformed due to some drunk driving accident and it will no longer be cool.
Click to expand...

True. That's how 3 guys I knew died couple of months ago, only 1 stayed alive.

I have no stories so I'll just get out of here...
 
a couple of years back my brother got pretty wasted, threw up in his back yard, passed out. Then his dog decided to eat his spew which was so full of alcohol the dog threw up on my brother then passed out on him.
 
Frankfert 2008,

It was a warm summers day and i was making my way to magic circle fest to see good old manowar, we decided to bum it in frankfert for a night, walking around blind drunk we decided to walk into a tittie bar, or at least i guessed it was a titty bar, i sit down in a small booth i am joined by a blonde bird and she started talking to me. i get my beer borght over and the bar maid said, do you wanna buy this girl a drink its 40 euros.

'40 euros' thats abit much, and thats when it hit me, i am in a fucking brothel / whorehouse. '40 euros and you can have the girl' the bar maid said, she rubs my leg and before i know it her hand is under my belt and in my pants (underwear for you yanks) anyway, in my mind i get a flash of AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS, i down my beer and look around the bar for my friend.

He is sat at the bar shiting his pants just like me and i say 'JACK LETS FUCKING MOVE' he leaves his beer on the bar and we both leave in fits of giggles.
Germany is Awesome.
 
i don't fuck around with drunk driving, ever. i check all my friends too, make sure they have a ride. It's a 5 minutes walk from my house to the bar, so i never drive.
 
Nick Brookes said:
Frankfert 2008,

It was a warm summers day and i was making my way to magic circle fest to see good old manowar, we decided to bum it in frankfert for a night, walking around blind drunk we decided to walk into a tittie bar, or at least i guessed it was a titty bar, i sit down in a small booth i am joined by a blonde bird and she started talking to me. i get my beer borght over and the bar maid said, do you wanna buy this girl a drink its 40 euros.

'40 euros' thats abit much, and thats when it hit me, i am in a fucking brothel / whorehouse. '40 euros and you can have the girl' the bar maid said, she rubs my leg and before i know it her hand is under my belt and in my pants (underwear for you yanks) anyway, in my mind i get a flash of AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS, i down my beer and look around the bar for my friend.

He is sat at the bar shiting his pants just like me and i say 'JACK LETS FUCKING MOVE' he leaves his beer on the bar and we both leave in fits of giggles.
Germany is Awesome.
Click to expand...

:lol:

What's so scary about a whorehouse though?
 
Nick Brookes said:
Frankfert 2008,

It was a warm summers day and i was making my way to magic circle fest to see good old manowar, we decided to bum it in frankfert for a night, walking around blind drunk we decided to walk into a tittie bar, or at least i guessed it was a titty bar, i sit down in a small booth i am joined by a blonde bird and she started talking to me. i get my beer borght over and the bar maid said, do you wanna buy this girl a drink its 40 euros.

'40 euros' thats abit much, and thats when it hit me, i am in a fucking brothel / whorehouse. '40 euros and you can have the girl' the bar maid said, she rubs my leg and before i know it her hand is under my belt and in my pants (underwear for you yanks) anyway, in my mind i get a flash of AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS, i down my beer and look around the bar for my friend.

He is sat at the bar shiting his pants just like me and i say 'JACK LETS FUCKING MOVE' he leaves his beer on the bar and we both leave in fits of giggles.
Germany is Awesome.
Click to expand...

:lol::lol: for being drunk, thinking of things like aids was pretty smart on your part.
 
One time, took a cab home from my friends place at about 3:30am, and the cab just happened to be a mini-van. On a four lane road driving home, we were in the 2nd lane to the right. I look over to my left, and see a car coming up besides us, Pontiac Grand pix with tinted windows and loud bass thumping.

So the Pontiac is passing us on the left, and we are coming up to a green intersection, and the Pontiac is just starting to pass the car (his nose, was about a foot past ours I'd say). The Pontiac then realizes the he needs to turn right, very suddenly, and very sharply, and slams into us. The cab goes off the road and JUST goes between a telephone pole, and traffic light with probably less than a foot of space for each side.

So I ask if the cabbie is alright, and instead of answering, begins to chase the Pontiac who is trying to flee the scene. The guy tires to lose us right away and ends up going into some small streets, and my cabbie is just ramming the back of his car while talking on his cellphone to the cops reading the license plate, going about 60km/h though small residential streets at 3:40am.

At one point, we even ended up beside the guy, and he side swiped us a second time, rocking the van off two of its wheels, felt like the whole thing was about to roll. Chase seemed like 5 minutes, was probably not even 90 seconds long, only did 4 right turns around a few blocks.

gave the cabbie my phone number and address in case he needed a statement, and ended up saving $15 on a cab.





EDIT:
See as non of this was me, I was just drunk has hell witnessing the thing, I guess its not a true drunktard story =/
Freebie, one time I tried to slide down a rail on some stairs at a park, fell on my back the second I jumped up, and rolled down 10 concrete stairs.=/
 
Alcohol makes me say things I wouldn't say when I'm sober. So once i had a party with my friends, and we all slept there because we didn't want anyone drunk driving. So I was sharing a matress with one of my best friend, and I had been in love with her for like 2 years, but I had never told her or anyone because she is a girl and so am I and even though I had came out as bi already, I didn't want to ruin my relationship with her. But anyway... she started cuddling me like we always do when we sleep next to friends since we thought it was more comfortable and eventually I ended up telling her I had feelings for her.

So she started kissing my neck and we ended up making out pretty much all night long. I thought she felt something because she started everything, I didnt dare kissing or touching her at all at first because I really didn't wanna freak her out... but when she started kissing me I started kissing back. But the next morning, when we woke up, she told me she wasn't into girls and that nothing could ever work out between us... we're not even friends anymore.

I'll never touch a girl again :lol:
 
^ sorry to hear that...about the friendship ending. but it would be hard for you to stay just friends with her anyway. maybe this happened for the best.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

R
In Memory of Fallen n00bs...
Replies
78
Views
2K
CoB Off-topic
Turbo
T
EvileOL
Question to Andy
Replies
31
Views
2K
Andy Sneap
EvileOL
E
Pharaoh
You Lucky Europeans
Replies
9
Views
485
Symphony X (Unofficial)
Velocity
V
S4R
I need help
Replies
1
Views
600
Opeth (Archived)
Mikael is God
M
Undefined
Most Heroic Thing You've Done
Replies
64
Views
2K
CoB Off-topic
MIMA
M
Top Bottom
Back