Funniest thrash lyrics...

Larf03

Larf03

Like a rock
Jun 5, 2003
2,261
16
38
Right Next Door to Hell
www.fredlaroche.com
Just for laughs... I thought we could share what lyrics made us laugh by wich band...

I'm a sucker for Anthrax lyrics myself... "Get your head out of your ass" over a big and heavy palm-mutted riff ;)

or

What about "I drink three six packs just so I could look at your face... Finale!"

what about you??
 
"Fatal If Swallowed," Overkill. No question there. Here's the lyrics:

Lust is the fire which warms you in the night.
Scorching the edge of your soul.
I am desire, your eyes are filled with light.
Pleasing the master your goal.
Like a fly! to a spider, against my web you fight.
My poison dousing your flame.
Call on the liar, to fill the hole with light.
Your feelings went as I came.

CHORUS:
Fatal if swallowed, my love's too much to hold.
A deadly poison, a hot and heavy load.
Fatal if swallowed, a love you can't resist.
Another believer, sealed, with a kiss.

Animal attraction, the numbing of your flesh,
No reason to let this action wait.
Your physical convultions, the quiver of your lips,
Open up, ahh! take the bait.
You taste it, revolting, wishing you were dead,
The effect you'll never grow old.
Oozing slime, foaming at the mouth,
So dizzy! the poison takes its toll.

CHORUS

No protection. forced injection.
Feel the bite. feel the sting...
No detection. slow infection.
Now you know what good lovin' brings.

Are you a believer, or are you just a corpse,
A worm eaten mass of disgust.
Yeah I'm a deceiver, the reaper a letch,
The reason your driven by lust.
But your not the first, you won't be the last.
I lead, others will follow.
No mercy, forgiveness, no begging for repreive,
My venom, fatal if swallowed!!!

CHORUS

Ooo with a kiss.
Fatal. Kiss this.

Open up wide, I'm cummin' inside.
 
pest666 said:
pupyrus, you convince me more and more each day that you aren't particularly bright. FIS is a very clever song about fellatio. If you're so good at writing lyrics BETTER then Blitz, let's see what you have......
Click to expand...

...Well I though the lyrics to fatal if swallowed were funny too... Anyway, the topic is funny lyrics so if Pyrus though that was funy... that's fine!!

The song IS brilliant though... Overkill did a clever song about this subject ... On the other hand, Cannibal Corpse did a song with good music but lyrics were so pathetic I laugh my ass off!

I cum blood!!!!!!!

As far as funny lyrics go... Carcass have their bits too :)
 
oops, my apologies..... I thought the topic was about lyrics that were dumb for some reason. I was wrong, Bltz actually writes some clever stuff if you read it. He's kinda like Steven Tyler with a twist. I like Head First too....
 
Blitz is one of my favorite lyricists; especially since W.F.O. (but the early stuff rocks too). And I really like the lyrics to Fatal If Swallowed; they're just intensely cheesy and amusing. That's why I like them.

Pest, I actually do have a bunch of lyrics I can post; let me know if you wanna see them once you're done prying your foot out of your mouth. ;)
 
I spend a lot of time on the Anthrax board, but I was checking out some of the other bands I like, such as Testament, and I chanced upon this. As much as i love the band and the song--Exodus's The Toxic Waltz is hilarious. My wife watched the video with me a few weeks ago and cracked up.

Here's some:
Used to do the monkey, but now it's not cool
The twist and mash potato are no exception to the rule
So don't be a dunce and dance like a runt
Just throw your elbows with good friendly violent fun
Don't start to cry
If you get a black eye
Just dive back in
And give another try
But too much action
May leave you in traction
So you better get insurance
No matter your endurance!

Flailing round and round
And you're injury bound
Waltz it up!
The pit is it!
You can take your chance
On this rough new dance
If you dare!
To dive in!
There are some that try
But they won't survive
They don't hit!
'Cause they're wimps!
And this exercise
Helps you brutalize
With us!
Exodus!

Everybody's doin' the toxic waltz
Kick your friend in the head and have a ball
Come on and do the toxic waltz
And slam your partner against the wall
Everybody's doin' the toxic waltz
Good friendly violent fun in store for all
Get up off your ass and toxic waltz
If you hit the floor you can always crawl!
 
hmm here ya go...funny as hell...

Vibrator
by Motorhead

Larger than life, sharper than a knife,
Ever ready for the time,
Slick and smooth I'm bound to improve your mood,
And make you feel fine,
Reach for me, I'm ready and how
I'm really starting to buzz,
Your feeling comes, I'm starting to hum,
I can do it like nothing else does,

You're never alone when I'm around
You can always rely on me,
I'm a friend, my love won't bend,
And that I can guarantee,
Straight and true and all for you,
I'm so eager to please,
Stick with me and I'll keep you free,
From any nasty disease,
'Cos I'm a Vibrator,
Pleased to make a start,
Vibrator, with a powerpack for a heart

Check my heart before you start,
I don't wanna blow no fuse,
New battery, is that for me?
That's something I could really use,
Power surge I get the urge,
To do my legendary thing,
The stars in your eyes don't tell no lies,
I know your bells are starting to ring,
'Cos I'm a Vibrator,
Pleased to make a start,
Vibrator, with a powerpack for a heart

Vibrator! Vibrator!

Wasn't that good, now wasn't that nice?
Now see we get along real fine,
I knew I was the boy for you,
When you came for the second time,
Clean me up, put me away,
You know you need the rest,
I'll be here when next you need me,
I've never ever failed the test,
'Cos I'm a Vibrator,
Pleased to make a start,
Vibrator, with a powerpack for a heart
I'm a Vibrator,
Pleased to make a start,
I'm a Vibrator,
And I'll never ever break your heart
 
I think that any Tankard lyric would fit in this thread.....its all about beer and stuff......
Check out this one, sorry for the long post :rolleyes:

Tankard - Hot Dog Inferno

3. Hot Dog Inferno

Appetite and hunger come
No matter where you're from
Either near or far
Come to my snack bar
Have some fries or have some meat
No matter what you eat
You will never know
At "Hot Dog Inferno"

Welcome to the best burger in your whole life
Order, fool, or you'll miss all the fun
Hey there, lady, suck my sausage for the whole night
Come on, baby, I'll serve you all night long

No way! Eat it up!
Sit down again, it's a
Long day! Bad luck!
See this gun, mister?

Look into mu frying pan
And I will cook your brain
Swallow faster
This sandwich disaster
Have some fries or have some meat
No matter what you eat
You will never know
At "Hot Dog Inferno"

Ain't that good? It's an age old mayonnaise cream
Ketchup rules, so please drink up your cup
Greasy sauce, I bet you'd die to try my tongue quiche
Boiling pasta is heating up your blood

No way! Eat it up!
Sit down again, it's a
Long day! Bad luck!
See this gun, mister?

Your tombstones my wooden spoon
Your order seals your doom
Die of mustard
You god damned bastard
Have some fries or have some meat
No matter what you eat
You will never know
At "Hot Dog Inferno"

Fidding you with black pudding to your last breath
Onions raw will make you fart til death
Finalli I'm gonna cut you into pieces
Steaks on my grill, you smell so good at last

No way! Eat it up!
Sit down again, it's a
Long day! Bad luck!
See this gun, mister?
 
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