Funniest thrash lyrics...

[BornOfFire]

This...

Payback
You need to take a closer look at me
Cause I was born to be the thorn in your side
No matter what you think you're gonna see
You never wanted this barrage of fucking pride
You don't want none of me You've got a fucking catheter in your brain
Pissing your common sense away
When you draw first blood you can't stop this fight
For my own peace of mind - I'm going to
Tear your fucking eyes out
Rip your fucking flesh off
Beat you till you're just a fucking lifeless carcass
Fuck you and your progress
Watch me fucking regress
You were made to take the fall - now you're nothing
Payback's a bitch motherfucker You only live to be a parasite
Your life must suck when nothing's going your way
Everything melts away before your eyes
You're just a punk that doesn't have the sense to get away
Get the fuck away You've got a fucking catheter in your brain
Pissing your common sense away
When you draw first blood you can't stop this fight
For my own peace of mind - I'm going to
Tear your fucking eyes out
Rip your fucking flesh off
Beat you till you're just a fucking lifeless carcass
Fuck you and your progress
Watch me fucking regress
You were made to take the fall - now you're nothing
Payback's a bitch motherfucker I will never become your fucking scapegoat
I don't know how it feels to come up short
I only want vengeance
To come shining down on me
I don't want you to die
Before I get the chance to kill you myself You've got a fucking catheter in your brain
Pissing your common sense away
This is for the mindfuck
This is for the hell of it
This is for me- I'm going to
Tear your fucking eyes out
Rip your fucking flesh off
Beat you till you're just a fucking lifeless carcass
Fuck you and your progress
Watch me fucking regress
You were made to take the fall - now you're nothing
Tear your fucking eyes out
Rip your fucking flesh off
Beat you till you're just a fucking lifeless carcass
Fuck you and your progress
Watch me fucking regress
You were made to take the fall - now you're nothing
Now you're nothing

Or this...

Exile
I'm suicidal, maniacal, self-destructive
You leave me no hope, no life
Nothing worth living for
I've taken it, can't take it anymore
My worst nightmare
You make me want to slit my own fucking throat
Just so I'll be rid of you
Just to get rid of you You self-righteous fuck
Give me a reason not to rip your fucking face off
Why don't you take a good look in these eyes
Cause I'm the one that's gonna tear your fucking heart
out
My hate is contagious; you've got no one to run to
EXILE Just tell me fucking why everything becomes an issue
Your opinion is always senseless - fuck this
You make my fucking skin crawl
I've lived with it - can't stand anymore
My worst nightmare
I want to take a bullet in the fucking head
Every time I think of you, every time I think of you You self-righteous fuck
Give me a reason not to rip your fucking face off
Why don't you take a good look in these eyes
Cause I'm the one that's gonna tear your fucking heart
out
My hate is contagious
Anyone else need to vent?
You've tried my tolerance; I just want you to die There's nothing more for me to say
There's nothing more for you to say
There's nothing more for us to say
I fucking hate you anyway
EXILE Can't count the ways that you light my fuckin fuse
I can't tolerate the sight of you, the thought of you or
anything about you
You know what I want to see?
How many ways can a loser fucking lose
I know you'll find a way
The humility awakening the idiot inside
You spineless fucking maggot - you're just wasting my
time
Get out of my face - Get out of my life
Out of my fucking way - Just die

 

[Ayeka]

Anyone know a band called Gehennah? They have the coolest funniest lyrics ever!

"We're lying everywhere with vomit in our hair
We're undrer the table again - TONIGHT!"

 

[MindInsane]

Fuck you and your progress, watch me fucking regress...I love that line...some of these songs don't have funny lyrics guys...John Doe?

 

[Stun]

Hmm whoops... I thought it was kinda of a 'stupid lyrics' kinda thing...

 

[Deadly Embrace]

Anyone ever neard of The Mentor's...................

 

[Stun]

Children of Bodom aren't really a thrash band... but this is a 'thrash-y' song, with pretty funny lyrics. :Spin:

Hate Crew Deathroll

Hey! Don't tell us what you want, cause we don't give a fuck about you and your kind
You! You better take a step back wherever the fuck you came from
No! You ain't one of us and to be a tag-along you're too ugly and blunt
Why is it too hard to get that we don't need you, you stupid cunt!?

If you don't know how to resent one another, to gain the new wave of power
It'll get into the point where noone gives a fuck what you may think of us or what you may not

Stop! Are you ever gonna stop tryin' to be on the way that we wanna go?
Fuck! It's pissin' the fuck out of us when you don't understand the word no
Now you're tellin' me you'll win the war that's only battled cause you're too dumb to die
That's right! You can take your war and shove it up your ass then close your eyes and say goodbye

(repeat prechorus)

We're the hate crew! We stand and we won't fall
We're all for none! and none for all
Fuck you, we'll fight till the last hit
And we sure as hell ain't taking no shit!
-- Solo -- Laiho

(repeat prechorus)

(repeat chorus)

- Fuck you!

 

[SAZZ]

suicidal tendencies has some funny lyrics "you wouldnt know what crazy was if charles manson was eating fruit loops on your front porch" & "jack be nimble,jack be quick
fuck you jack,im a lunatic" & there was a line from souls at zero that made me laugh when i 1st heard this song"dont
stand in the way of my convictions,dont piss on my
back & tell me its raining"

 

[Disciple of the Watch]

Anthrax: MILK
That one is a killer... It goes somethimg like this:

I voke up,
want something to eat,
opened the fidge,
there was no milk,
my mother will pay!

I WANT SOME MILK!!!!
etc.

 

[Larf03]

Damn... these are all classics!!! I have to admitt that Children of Bodom are the masters of immature "try-to-be-tough-with-aggressive-sentences-and-big-words" lyrics! Those guys crack me up everytime!!

Well... Let's see... We have :
Anthrax
Overkill
Suicidal Tendencies
Motorhead
Exodus

...Still nothing funny or ridicule about good ol' Testament though

I know it's not thrash but Helloween have their share of funny lyrics!

 

[Stun]

lol I agree about CoB except that they very rarely use big words...

I can't believe I forgot about this song!

Chokehold (Cocked n Loaded)

Minefield is called the place I'm living in
Carefully watching each and every step I take
Bright, white straight jacket chokes me off
MY EYES ARE TIED!
I! feel the cold steel on my forehead
Like! binding pleasure of being dead
Downward future! I descend
Counterblast! and a chokehold till the end
I'm flushed like the booze I hammer down
Like a piece of trash to be kicked all around
When would be the time for a better day?
My cocked and loaded soul-mate leads the way!
-- Solo -- Laiho
-- Solo -- Warman
I! feel the cold steel on my forehead
Like! binding pleasure of being dead
Downward future! I descend
Counterblast! and a chokehold till the end
- Chokehold till the end!

 

[MindInsane]

Speakin of Souls At Zero...here's some funny lyrics by Wrathchild America

Surrounded By Idiots

Desperate groupie makin a pass
the little slut didn't just want my ass
she said, "I'm gonna be cool and have a rockstar's kid
But will the novelty of the bastard last?

I don't know what to think
but I know what I see
I think I'll have another drink
Wanna join me?

Surrounded Surrounded Surrounded
clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right
here I am surrounded
surrounded, I'm surrounded surrounded by IDIOTS!

The TV gods and the Jesus freaks and the flag burners
and the rapists and the murderers...wouldja check out all the geeks...
I can't believe what walks the streets
From hollywood to DC!

You banned Little Red Riding Hood
censored Mr Rogers Neighborhood
I go to jail if they find a seed
but meanwhile the mayor runs free!

Now I know what I think
And I know what I see
I say everything sucks!
You agree!!!

 

[DepthCharge]

I know its no thrash but on Type O Negative's new one there is a great song called I like Goils.


Forget the jar of vasaline
Hey rich bitch boy I'm not gonna be your queen
and yeah
you can drool beg me and hope
but theres no way im playin drop the soap
ok
I know I'mstrange but I ain't no queer
so take your rage and disappear
but I'm proud not to be PC
'cause
I like goils
bad goils all over the world
Now I don't know who's ass you've licked
no shit tongued boy will ever taste my dick
he says:
"how bout no sex-we'll just be friends?"
hey no thanks pal i'll stick to lesbians
You're right
a sexist pig i guess it's true
i hate all men including you
i dont care what you think of me
cause
I like goils
I'm quite flattered that you think I'm cute
but I don't deal well with compacted poop
so look
if my views make you annoyed
you're just jealous I don't have hemorrhoids
so now
to make it clear that you cant bone me
my tattooed ass reads exit only
I don't care much for sodomy

 

[Mammoth]

ONE WORD... GWAR

 

[Reverand Joint Smoker]

Six pack. Dead Kennedy's " I kill children" is a classic too."God told me to skin you aive!"

 

[Emperor Nakoo Hiryuu]

Artillery - Decapitation of Deviants takes the cake...

"When shit turns to gold, the poor will be born without ass!"

 

[Wicked Child]

I always thought Overkill had some prety amusing lyrics. Like take, for example, the chorus for "Use Your Head": "YOU got alot to learn...your head's up your ass, YOU got alot to learn...you got no class, no class!"

and also some of the lyrics for the song, "Elimination":

"terminal, what disease !?
told me too late
what's this cough and wheeze ?
fatal!?, you're shittin' me!!!
a second opinion
is what I need
laughin' in a windstorm
blowin' all the cornstalks down
cryin' in a funeral home
forward my mail, six feet underground

contagious, say why not
not just me
waitin' to rot
painful, yeah I know
it couldn't be easy
when I had to go
i'm yankin' on my plug
and I can't seem to get it loose
pullin' all the stops
your ideals change. when you got
nothing to loose.

hopeless there's no doubt
set on a slow burn
from the inside out
carefully say what for
last one out
closes the coffin door
spendin' all you saved
and wishin' for a little more
if i'm lookin' at the ceilin'
then I must be layin' on the floor.

Not only are they amusing, but they're damn fun to sing along to!

 

[AgentsofBrutality]

...Well I though the lyrics to fatal if swallowed were funny too... Anyway, the topic is funny lyrics so if Pyrus though that was funy... that's fine!!

The song IS brilliant though... Overkill did a clever song about this subject ... On the other hand, Cannibal Corpse did a song with good music but lyrics were so pathetic I laugh my ass off!

I cum blood!!!!!!!

As far as funny lyrics go... Carcass have their bits too

How about the some of the lyrics to Kreators song Endless Pain?

"Red and green monsters torment your mind"

Thats hilarious!!!

 

[AgentsofBrutality]

Anthrax: MILK
That one is a killer... It goes somethimg like this:

I voke up,
want something to eat,
opened the fidge,
there was no milk,
my mother will pay!

I WANT SOME MILK!!!!
etc.

Milk is an old SOD song

 

[MindInsane]

Milk is an old SOD song

Anthrax also did it...

 

[HemiGTX]

I vote for FORCED ENTRY..."We're a bunch a dicks". Long out of print, but here's the funniest song I ever heard.

Who's the man? Who's the might... kick your fucking ass tonight, gonna prove you wrong, you call me a dick, (he's yelling too fast)....

....Cause we're a buncha dicks! Cause we tell it like it is...I know it makes you pissed! Cause we're a buncha dicks!

Fuck off or I'll kill you!!!

Repeat...who's the man, who's the might kick your fucking ass tonight...

Cause I'm a fucking a DICK! we tell it like it is, I know it makes you pissed!! Cause I'm a fucking DICK! We're dicks! We tell it like it is, I know it makes you pissed! Cause were a buncha dicks!

Fuck off or I'll kill you!!!

Total Anthem.

I just had to listen to that, while typing it. And it still makes me laugh....one of the best live bands I've ever, ever seen. "How we spent our Summer vacation" was pretty hilarious too.