He's not dead... yet.
- Thread starter MFJ
- Start date
Evil?
omghaxlol!1
Best of luck Max. Heroin is a monster. My biological father was a heroin addict. When I was two months old, while my Mother and I were away, he sold all of our possessions and left a note admitting he was a heroin addict and that he was HIV+ (the HIV part was a lie) and that she should her and myself tested. He had kept it a secret until then. He hit rock bottom and could no longer hold up the charade. The drug had cost him his family and his material possessions.
From the letters we have received from his mother, my biological grandmother, he managed to clean up and began living a healthier, drug free life. He had gone as low as you can go and managed to pull himself back out. He died of cancer a few years ago, and left me, the son he never met, what little money he had. I used to hate him for what he had done to my mother and I, but I have come to think recently that deep down he wasn't a bad person. He was a person that had made a mistake. A terrible mistake, but a mistake none the less.
Keep working on your recovery Max. There is hope for everyone.
From the letters we have received from his mother, my biological grandmother, he managed to clean up and began living a healthier, drug free life. He had gone as low as you can go and managed to pull himself back out. He died of cancer a few years ago, and left me, the son he never met, what little money he had. I used to hate him for what he had done to my mother and I, but I have come to think recently that deep down he wasn't a bad person. He was a person that had made a mistake. A terrible mistake, but a mistake none the less.
Keep working on your recovery Max. There is hope for everyone.
Dead_Lioness
Godless
Yeah Jerry... wow, that story about your mom sounds very tough...
I agree with Dem, you should be proud of yourself for stepping OUT of that world instead of INTO it... good for you
you don't (and anyone for that matter ) world of drugs and crime...
I lolled
Krilons Resa
Jerry's married?!
Yeah, when I was young, one of my mother's live-in boyfriends was a heroin addict, amongst other shit. Im not gonna be as open as Jerry about it, but there was a lot of horrors that went down. He's dead now, of AIDS.
Susperia
Member
Jerry I'd like to say I hope you have someone to talk to about what happened to you.. I'm not saying you need counseling or anything, but it might help, unless you have someone. Basically I'm just saying it's important to have someone to spill all your shit onto lest it drive you insane.
And by all means, a messageboard with your mates can be a good idea too. If you ever feel like you need to talk about that stuff, i'm sure we're all open to listening. I think it's too bad a lot of you guys think it is so uncool to talk about personal things that bother you (other than black people) on this board. It could help.
And Max--- I'm sorry I am so tough on people, especially drug addicts, alcoholics, liars etc. I didn't mean to cause such a riot I just can't believe how long some people stay involved in this shit.....let alone get into it at all. Just try your hardest not to relapse again. I don't know what else to say, since it's so clear with what everyone's said here that it would be the worst thing you could do to do that shit again. Go wherever you need to if you think it will keep you clean, Amsterdam, wherever.
And by all means, a messageboard with your mates can be a good idea too. If you ever feel like you need to talk about that stuff, i'm sure we're all open to listening. I think it's too bad a lot of you guys think it is so uncool to talk about personal things that bother you (other than black people) on this board. It could help.
And Max--- I'm sorry I am so tough on people, especially drug addicts, alcoholics, liars etc. I didn't mean to cause such a riot I just can't believe how long some people stay involved in this shit.....let alone get into it at all. Just try your hardest not to relapse again. I don't know what else to say, since it's so clear with what everyone's said here that it would be the worst thing you could do to do that shit again. Go wherever you need to if you think it will keep you clean, Amsterdam, wherever.
Demilich
Remember
I've talked about enough personal shit on this board (not that I have much anyway compared to some of you nut jobs) but I don't really anymore since it probably isn't all that exciting.
Susperia makes a good point though. Talking about shit > bottling it all up. This is why I'll tell my problems to even the most random of people that I barely know. Maybe not always in the utmost detail, but it does make me feel better to be able to let people know what's on my mind. Still waiting for it to inevitably come back and bite me in the ass.
Susperia makes a good point though. Talking about shit > bottling it all up. This is why I'll tell my problems to even the most random of people that I barely know. Maybe not always in the utmost detail, but it does make me feel better to be able to let people know what's on my mind. Still waiting for it to inevitably come back and bite me in the ass.
Thanatopsis123
ç½é¬¼
I must be reading a different board because I see a bunch of people treating this place like a year round Festivus Airing of Grievances.
Chromatose
Squid pro quo
Alright everyone, thanks for the kind words. It really means a lot to me... I haven't seen this much support anywhere else. I'm doing fine. The rehab I went to, Mountainside in Canaan, CT) is a fantastic and loving place. Tell your friends- if anyone has a problem then I highly recommend this place. They don't take insurance, and it costs 7,000+ for a month, but it is WORTH it. Unlike any other facility, the staff legitimately gives a fuck for you. My counselor (a heroin addict for 19 years, been clean for 17) would simply not let me discharge without having a plan set up that would lead me to success. I signed a contract with both my parents and counselor that basically keeps me in check. Living back in Middle Haddam, CT with my folks... I willingly adhere to a reasonable curfew, random drug testing, etc, PLUS I am doing a 90/90 which means I attend a Narcotics Anonymous meeting every day for three months. If I fail a drug test, the contract states that I must return for Mountainside for 2 months and then live in a sober house (Portland, ME) for a minimum of six. I have too many excellent things to compromise. Mainly, recording and releasing my EP and going back to Amsterdam for college in September (it is actually happening this time). I miss all of the friends that I fucked over and lost (all of you guys), and I'm perfectly content with smoking my cheeb and earning back the trust of my friends and family. You don't realize what a fucking scum bag you are/were until your head clears up. After the completely hellish and indescribable misery of detox ends, you don't sleep for about 10-15 days- not for a WINK- and then your head starts to slowly metabolize back to a pre-heroin state (which scientifically never goes back more than about 50%) after your body literally collapses and falls into sleep for about three days. So I'm rambling, but I just wanted to let you all know where I'm at. I miss you all and please know that I am writing, writing, writing. Hope all is well, take care.
Posed little time- so I'll say "goodnight".
-Max
Posed little time- so I'll say "goodnight".
-Max
AsModEe
also known as ass-mode
glad to hear you're doing better. I wish you the best of luck in the future and can't wait to hear your new stuff 
College is, btw, the best thing on Earth. You'll have a blast.
College is, btw, the best thing on Earth. You'll have a blast.
dill_the_devil
OneMetal.com Music Editor
Conspicuously Absent
Linguistically Confused
Good on you Max, when you make it over to amsterdam lemme know, I'll make a pilgrimage and we can have some beers together.
Demilich
Remember
So fucking impressive & commendable that Max can be so open about this stuff on here, knowing that only a select few will make light / go too far with it. Best of luck in this recovery process, sounds like you're on the right track!
dorian gray
Returning videotapes
- Apr 8, 2004
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NAD
What A Horrible Night To Have A Curse
There's a whole lot of noise in this thread. Fuck all that.
Max. Dude. Much love. Best of luck with that nasty, nasty beast of burden. Stay alive brother, your work here isn't yet complete.
Max. Dude. Much love. Best of luck with that nasty, nasty beast of burden. Stay alive brother, your work here isn't yet complete.
