Okay, odd story.
Suppose for a second that you date this girl for four days and then it doesn't work out. You still hang around her, though, because she's bonkers enough to make sense of you and it's somewhat entertaining. She's always going off about her best friend from her sick, twisted small-town-of-origin in the middle of assfuckingnowhere, for reasons not clear to anyone in the picture, and somewhere slips in your introduction along the lines of "He's a genius, you have to let him rape you." Seems normal, right?
So one day you're hanging around her dorm at the start of the winter break, and you meet this best friend, who's cute as hell and actually interesting to have around. And her whale of a 'little sister', and some random scrawny assfuck with no sense of good taste at all. Now, this 'little sister', who could probably eat two of you, has few redeeming qualities. One is that you never feel that she has any redeeming qualities, which saves a TON of work in the future. Actually... scratch that, that's the only one. But, being somewhat of a poorly-shaven cow that somehow cursed us all by learning how to speak and has to justify her ego somehow, she decides that, since guys like large blorghphbs of fat on women's chests and she has BLORGHPHBS of fat with BLORGHPHBS of fat of their own on hers, she's hot shit and everyone wants to feel her up.
So now you have the thing that could beat Roseanne in several straight sumo bouts and you need her to shut the fuck up, right? Now, you're on fairly-well-monitored property, so you can't kill anyone very easily - and there are witnesses, complicating things further, so you must, in fact, rule murder out altogether. Despite being a small-town Baptist Hindenberg, comments about weight and religion have had no effect. The only remaining option... shock. Somehow she steers the conversation to her BLORGHPHBS once more and slips in the sentence "[Random scrawny assfuck] has been trying to grab at them all night," and somehow 'trying to grab at them' seems completely implausible. It's not like they're hiding or well-armoured. So you grab one to make a point. Of course, you have to wash your hand off for about an hour, but you've effectively shut her the fuck up, right? Mission accomplished, we're all safe now, right?
Wrongo.
A month later you're dating the hot sister, and Shamu is not amused. But you can pretty much ignore her until a few months later, when she hijacks the girlfriend's computer and tries to insult you with the stunning combo of 'homosexual, suicidal idiot' for an hour. And then you find out you've been introduced to their whole family as the guy who felt her up. So you've just spent an hour making a joke of some twit who thinks she's not only God, but God's gift to God as well, but can't actually figure out how to have a stab at someone or understand half of what you just said, so she'll be a pain in the ass for a while to come, and if you meet more of the girlfriend's family there will be hell to pay.
What the fuck do you do?
Jeff
Suppose for a second that you date this girl for four days and then it doesn't work out. You still hang around her, though, because she's bonkers enough to make sense of you and it's somewhat entertaining. She's always going off about her best friend from her sick, twisted small-town-of-origin in the middle of assfuckingnowhere, for reasons not clear to anyone in the picture, and somewhere slips in your introduction along the lines of "He's a genius, you have to let him rape you." Seems normal, right?
So one day you're hanging around her dorm at the start of the winter break, and you meet this best friend, who's cute as hell and actually interesting to have around. And her whale of a 'little sister', and some random scrawny assfuck with no sense of good taste at all. Now, this 'little sister', who could probably eat two of you, has few redeeming qualities. One is that you never feel that she has any redeeming qualities, which saves a TON of work in the future. Actually... scratch that, that's the only one. But, being somewhat of a poorly-shaven cow that somehow cursed us all by learning how to speak and has to justify her ego somehow, she decides that, since guys like large blorghphbs of fat on women's chests and she has BLORGHPHBS of fat with BLORGHPHBS of fat of their own on hers, she's hot shit and everyone wants to feel her up.
So now you have the thing that could beat Roseanne in several straight sumo bouts and you need her to shut the fuck up, right? Now, you're on fairly-well-monitored property, so you can't kill anyone very easily - and there are witnesses, complicating things further, so you must, in fact, rule murder out altogether. Despite being a small-town Baptist Hindenberg, comments about weight and religion have had no effect. The only remaining option... shock. Somehow she steers the conversation to her BLORGHPHBS once more and slips in the sentence "[Random scrawny assfuck] has been trying to grab at them all night," and somehow 'trying to grab at them' seems completely implausible. It's not like they're hiding or well-armoured. So you grab one to make a point. Of course, you have to wash your hand off for about an hour, but you've effectively shut her the fuck up, right? Mission accomplished, we're all safe now, right?
Wrongo.
A month later you're dating the hot sister, and Shamu is not amused. But you can pretty much ignore her until a few months later, when she hijacks the girlfriend's computer and tries to insult you with the stunning combo of 'homosexual, suicidal idiot' for an hour. And then you find out you've been introduced to their whole family as the guy who felt her up. So you've just spent an hour making a joke of some twit who thinks she's not only God, but God's gift to God as well, but can't actually figure out how to have a stab at someone or understand half of what you just said, so she'll be a pain in the ass for a while to come, and if you meet more of the girlfriend's family there will be hell to pay.
What the fuck do you do?
Jeff
