IN FLAMES new album being released by the end of 2016

Yeah, Anders has to have one of the worst singing voices ever combined with poor range.

Our friend Slave Jesterinovich Hungarov is coming back...riding on Peter the Great nuclear cruiser, holding big flag with V.V. Putins face while Red army choir sings in the background and two squadrons of migs and sukhois are flying over the whole scene.
 
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Since last September I am a gin tonic enthusiast, but I did make amends with vodka (+ Fanta) in the expense of whiskey. Fuck whiskey; nearly killed me numerous times and it tastes like shit.

I abandoned the will to clean my laptop, as a Win reinstall has been due date anyway for some time, so I don't want to suffer with hunting Russian spies. Honestly, I got used to the empty pages that pop up, and the occasional "THESE GIRLS WANNA FUCK YOU/IS YOUR PENIS BIG ENOUGH?" stuff. The only un-fucking-bearable thing is having to use Bing. I thought shitting on Bing is nothing more than a circlejerk, you know, like hating Internet Explorer. Sure, the latter might be still not as great as the alternatives, but I doubt it's as terrible as one would think.
But don't fucking let me start on Bing... what kind of fucking retard programmed it? I write "In Flames WIkipedia" in the search bar and the first result is the wiki article about flame. Unbelievable.

How is no one talking about the tour? Did you see the fucking setlist? I mean, the setlist itself would be fine for a shortened, opening act, but what the fuck, Battles was released 3 months ago, and we only heard 2 songs live (not counting Anders raping In My Room in their promo performance)?! Hooooooly shit. Okay, hear me about. Please, do spare me from the effortless bullshit you want to come up with like "hurr-durr, maybe they realized Battles suck XDXDXD", haha, funny and original, FUCK OFF. No.
- You release a new record
- You go on tour
- YOU PLAY THE GODDAMN NEW MUSIC

Random 2014 setlist from Texas had these SC songs: IPV, EG, Paralyzed, TO, Rusted Nail. That's five. In their Forged In Fire tour they played 2 Battles songs and 2 SC songs. What?! Inexcusable.

At least try them out, like they did with Monsters. If you feel it's not clicking enough with the audience, you switch it up, understandable. But no, The End, The Truth, bye. I bet they had the fucking audacity to sell Battles in these venues. "Hey, are you interested in IF's latest record, from which you won't hear shit tonight???"

Now, don't get me wrong, I think TE is a very okay live song, and I really like TT, but basically every other song (except Wallflower) is between these two, so if they can and willing to perform these live, then nothing should be off limits from Battles.

In other news, after 2,5 years I finally bought a proper headphone. I asked around here as well, did some online research, but I was too hesitant to order anything without trying it first. Eventually I found a shop where I could do so, but there was only like... I don't know, like 30-35 headphones? I was heavily influenced toward the ATH-M50x since the very beginning, even my third ever bookmark on this computer is about a head-fi thread where people are arguing over the m50. Still, I tried a few others as well (like the m40), but in the end I landed on it anyway. One of my test songs was Vacuum, and most of the headphones fucked it up, which was a no-no.
I wanted to buy a white one, but my friend reminded me that I'm a lazy slob, and I would never ever clean them and they'd be black within half a year, which convinced me to go with the lame black edition. I am a little heartbroken over it. White is so fucking pretty!!

(Side note: I really wanted to try out a Beats headphone. No, I would never buy one but I hard so much about them that it was a pity they had none)

Obiously, I listened to a bunch of IF (among others) again with these. My biggest surprise was probably with Where The Dead Ships Dwell. I really don't care about bass stuff, but Peter does really good on that song, I never heard it before. My second surprise was how okay SC sounds. I thought this will shatter my disillusions with SC, but nah, it stood this test as a champ! And I don't get the complaints about the drums. They might be a bit watery, but they still have a punch.

Battles on the other hand... hah! I don't know man. Someone compared Like Sand to Satellites, and I initially wanted to defend Like Sand, because I never rated Satellites highly. Like, it has a bunch of great stuff, and a bunch of needless ones as well. But still, the comparison is really good, because (to me) IF always gained something from leaving behind their archaic stuff. Now, to others, it was their farewell, and that is totally understandable, by R2R everyone had to know that a shift has already happened. Still, I admired almost everything they released as this new In Flames, and in a way, they did a favor to their older stuff too. IF wanted to abandon some of their defining sounds before Clayman as well, but they were practically forced to do it one last time. Now, I highly doubt they could've released anything great in the style of their first few records after that, because they were already sick and tired with it. However, with shifting towards their new sound, they gained more popularity than ever, and these people probably checked out their earlier works as well. I know I did.

Anyway, Battles has no... charm, EHEHEHEHE. No, really. Like Sand is a great fucking example. I like the never ending crying on All For Me, still not tired of it, because you can take that song seriously. Like Sand is weightless; good verses but everything else is fucking awful.

Anders: “It's about insecurity. You want to have everything – and that could be difficult. Even though I've done a lot of things and get all these praises and meet people who love what we're doing... that should be like, 'I'm done, I feel great, I don't need to do anything now, no one else has to tell me I'm good'. But I'm still fighting at some points with these insecurities; 'Is what I'm doing good enough?' I should just say, 'Fuck it', and most of the time that's how I think, but sometimes I'm drifting into this world of insecurity and I think that's very common. Sometimes you feel like Superman, sometimes the dog from Garfield.

Do you get this vibe from that song? I don't like (oh, yes I do!) to bring up NIN all the time, but since I know them the best and there is basically a song their own which matches Anders' description perfectly, I have to show it.



While I don't expect anyone to listen through it, you can at least jump to 4:18, where he starts repeating his mantra. While the record this song is on (The Downward Spiral) is walking us through a man's breakdown which ends in suicide (spoiler alert, I guess), it is very much comparable to Like Sand and Anders explanation of it. Insecurity is a sort of mental weakness(/illness), right? You sell a bunch of records, you fill arenas and you have a loving family, yet time to time you ask yourself whether you amounted to something. That's not healthy, nor the knee-jerk response of wanting to do even more, wanting to do everything, because if you did everything, then no one can tell you that you are not worthy.

That's a great premise, especially because this song could be for everyone, really, as both being successful and unsuccessful can put such thoughts in one's mind, you don't have to be an angsty 16 years old to "get it". You kept saying how this record is for teenagers, but there are many adult themes there as well, it's just they are executed in a very autistic way. "I want the whoooooooleeee woooOooorrllld, the whooOoooOole wooooooooorldddddaaaaaa" - see, if you are feelings insecure, the only good thing this song might do to you, is make you feel a bit better knowing some motherfucker thought this chorus was a good idea, so worst case scenario you are only the 2nd most useless human being on Earth. (which might make you hang yourself, when you realize you can't even be first in that, haha).

You see, this song could've been done many ways. Could've been angry, irritated and desperate like I Do Not Want This, could've followed the trails of All For Me where he sounded desperate and faithless, or alternatively, he could've done something like The Attic. Instead we got this shit. A real pity, because those verses are good.

And back to the drums. I hear them better now, and they are not 1/10, more than 3/10, but I don't understand why they chose this sound. We can argue about whether SC's watery, muffled drums are cool or not, but at least it has weight. Battles has no weight. While Battles fading more and more into obscurity as days pass, Korn's latest record still sounds fucking fresh. Just listen to those drums mmmmmmm



Love it! And while Metallica's new record has a bunch of shit songs, credits where it's due, Spit Out The Bone is pretty rad.



I gotta admit, I almost downloaded Atoma, but for now put it on hold. I mean, I will never like DT for obvious reasons, but that first song someone linked in was not so bad, even listened to it two more times I think. Still, it just made me remember Soilwork (don't worry, I have a couple of songs on my playlist from them, and ever since I had my carriable media player, Nerve is like among the 3 songs that I always had on them) so I will re-listen them, except The Living Infinite double-record, which is annoying as fuck. I really don't get that record. It has some great songs, but the rest are meh. The EP after it was amazing though.

Also guys, I think it's time for you to reconsider dipping your feet into NIN-water! After 3 years of slumber, not only they are back, but a bunch of older records are being released as Definitive editions (so, basically remastered, plus a few extra songs here and there), new LP is expected sometime this year, and a tour date (USA, of course...) has already been announced.

I will return with another post later today where I give you ideas (which you never asked for, but that's why I am here) where to start, but frankly, I have no fucking idea and I'm hungry. Yes, Hungary and hungry sounds almost the same, very funny, FUCK OFF.
 
So after two months the only songs from battles that I'm still listening are drained,the end,in my room and before i fall for some reason. I think I can see now what's the problem with In Flames. Their new music is easy to listen, I got excited at first but I lost interest quickly. Their songs are good and catchy, but the lack of complexity can make them boring easily. It is just a good album and that's all, nothing special. On the contrary, new Metallica album is a masterpiece. You can hear that they put a lot of efford on the record and their songs require time to explore and fully understand them, unlike In Flames who maybe should have spend more time writting and recording the album ( I am not comparing the two bands, I'm just saying the difference between a good and an excellent record )
 
Also, guys which are your top-5 albums of 2016?
Mine:
1. Hardwired...to self-destruct - Metallica
2. Magma - Gojira
3. Feathers & Flesh - Avatar
4. The North Corridor - Chevelle
5. Incarnate - Killswitch Engage

Serenity Of Suffering ( Korn ) and The Stage ( Avenged Sevenfold ) could be on the list
 
Since last September I am a gin tonic enthusiast, but I did make amends with vodka (+ Fanta) in the expense of whiskey. Fuck whiskey; nearly killed me numerous times and it tastes like shit.

I abandoned the will to clean my laptop, as a Win reinstall has been due date anyway for some time, so I don't want to suffer with hunting Russian spies. Honestly, I got used to the empty pages that pop up, and the occasional "THESE GIRLS WANNA FUCK YOU/IS YOUR PENIS BIG ENOUGH?" stuff. The only un-fucking-bearable thing is having to use Bing. I thought shitting on Bing is nothing more than a circlejerk, you know, like hating Internet Explorer. Sure, the latter might be still not as great as the alternatives, but I doubt it's as terrible as one would think.
But don't fucking let me start on Bing... what kind of fucking retard programmed it? I write "In Flames WIkipedia" in the search bar and the first result is the wiki article about flame. Unbelievable.

How is no one talking about the tour? Did you see the fucking setlist? I mean, the setlist itself would be fine for a shortened, opening act, but what the fuck, Battles was released 3 months ago, and we only heard 2 songs live (not counting Anders raping In My Room in their promo performance)?! Hooooooly shit. Okay, hear me about. Please, do spare me from the effortless bullshit you want to come up with like "hurr-durr, maybe they realized Battles suck XDXDXD", haha, funny and original, FUCK OFF. No.
- You release a new record
- You go on tour
- YOU PLAY THE GODDAMN NEW MUSIC

Random 2014 setlist from Texas had these SC songs: IPV, EG, Paralyzed, TO, Rusted Nail. That's five. In their Forged In Fire tour they played 2 Battles songs and 2 SC songs. What?! Inexcusable.

At least try them out, like they did with Monsters. If you feel it's not clicking enough with the audience, you switch it up, understandable. But no, The End, The Truth, bye. I bet they had the fucking audacity to sell Battles in these venues. "Hey, are you interested in IF's latest record, from which you won't hear shit tonight???"

Now, don't get me wrong, I think TE is a very okay live song, and I really like TT, but basically every other song (except Wallflower) is between these two, so if they can and willing to perform these live, then nothing should be off limits from Battles.

In other news, after 2,5 years I finally bought a proper headphone. I asked around here as well, did some online research, but I was too hesitant to order anything without trying it first. Eventually I found a shop where I could do so, but there was only like... I don't know, like 30-35 headphones? I was heavily influenced toward the ATH-M50x since the very beginning, even my third ever bookmark on this computer is about a head-fi thread where people are arguing over the m50. Still, I tried a few others as well (like the m40), but in the end I landed on it anyway. One of my test songs was Vacuum, and most of the headphones fucked it up, which was a no-no.
I wanted to buy a white one, but my friend reminded me that I'm a lazy slob, and I would never ever clean them and they'd be black within half a year, which convinced me to go with the lame black edition. I am a little heartbroken over it. White is so fucking pretty!!

(Side note: I really wanted to try out a Beats headphone. No, I would never buy one but I hard so much about them that it was a pity they had none)

Obiously, I listened to a bunch of IF (among others) again with these. My biggest surprise was probably with Where The Dead Ships Dwell. I really don't care about bass stuff, but Peter does really good on that song, I never heard it before. My second surprise was how okay SC sounds. I thought this will shatter my disillusions with SC, but nah, it stood this test as a champ! And I don't get the complaints about the drums. They might be a bit watery, but they still have a punch.

Battles on the other hand... hah! I don't know man. Someone compared Like Sand to Satellites, and I initially wanted to defend Like Sand, because I never rated Satellites highly. Like, it has a bunch of great stuff, and a bunch of needless ones as well. But still, the comparison is really good, because (to me) IF always gained something from leaving behind their archaic stuff. Now, to others, it was their farewell, and that is totally understandable, by R2R everyone had to know that a shift has already happened. Still, I admired almost everything they released as this new In Flames, and in a way, they did a favor to their older stuff too. IF wanted to abandon some of their defining sounds before Clayman as well, but they were practically forced to do it one last time. Now, I highly doubt they could've released anything great in the style of their first few records after that, because they were already sick and tired with it. However, with shifting towards their new sound, they gained more popularity than ever, and these people probably checked out their earlier works as well. I know I did.

Anyway, Battles has no... charm, EHEHEHEHE. No, really. Like Sand is a great fucking example. I like the never ending crying on All For Me, still not tired of it, because you can take that song seriously. Like Sand is weightless; good verses but everything else is fucking awful.

Anders: “It's about insecurity. You want to have everything – and that could be difficult. Even though I've done a lot of things and get all these praises and meet people who love what we're doing... that should be like, 'I'm done, I feel great, I don't need to do anything now, no one else has to tell me I'm good'. But I'm still fighting at some points with these insecurities; 'Is what I'm doing good enough?' I should just say, 'Fuck it', and most of the time that's how I think, but sometimes I'm drifting into this world of insecurity and I think that's very common. Sometimes you feel like Superman, sometimes the dog from Garfield.

Do you get this vibe from that song? I don't like (oh, yes I do!) to bring up NIN all the time, but since I know them the best and there is basically a song their own which matches Anders' description perfectly, I have to show it.



While I don't expect anyone to listen through it, you can at least jump to 4:18, where he starts repeating his mantra. While the record this song is on (The Downward Spiral) is walking us through a man's breakdown which ends in suicide (spoiler alert, I guess), it is very much comparable to Like Sand and Anders explanation of it. Insecurity is a sort of mental weakness(/illness), right? You sell a bunch of records, you fill arenas and you have a loving family, yet time to time you ask yourself whether you amounted to something. That's not healthy, nor the knee-jerk response of wanting to do even more, wanting to do everything, because if you did everything, then no one can tell you that you are not worthy.

That's a great premise, especially because this song could be for everyone, really, as both being successful and unsuccessful can put such thoughts in one's mind, you don't have to be an angsty 16 years old to "get it". You kept saying how this record is for teenagers, but there are many adult themes there as well, it's just they are executed in a very autistic way. "I want the whoooooooleeee woooOooorrllld, the whooOoooOole wooooooooorldddddaaaaaa" - see, if you are feelings insecure, the only good thing this song might do to you, is make you feel a bit better knowing some motherfucker thought this chorus was a good idea, so worst case scenario you are only the 2nd most useless human being on Earth. (which might make you hang yourself, when you realize you can't even be first in that, haha).

You see, this song could've been done many ways. Could've been angry, irritated and desperate like I Do Not Want This, could've followed the trails of All For Me where he sounded desperate and faithless, or alternatively, he could've done something like The Attic. Instead we got this shit. A real pity, because those verses are good.

And back to the drums. I hear them better now, and they are not 1/10, more than 3/10, but I don't understand why they chose this sound. We can argue about whether SC's watery, muffled drums are cool or not, but at least it has weight. Battles has no weight. While Battles fading more and more into obscurity as days pass, Korn's latest record still sounds fucking fresh. Just listen to those drums mmmmmmm



Love it! And while Metallica's new record has a bunch of shit songs, credits where it's due, Spit Out The Bone is pretty rad.



I gotta admit, I almost downloaded Atoma, but for now put it on hold. I mean, I will never like DT for obvious reasons, but that first song someone linked in was not so bad, even listened to it two more times I think. Still, it just made me remember Soilwork (don't worry, I have a couple of songs on my playlist from them, and ever since I had my carriable media player, Nerve is like among the 3 songs that I always had on them) so I will re-listen them, except The Living Infinite double-record, which is annoying as fuck. I really don't get that record. It has some great songs, but the rest are meh. The EP after it was amazing though.

Also guys, I think it's time for you to reconsider dipping your feet into NIN-water! After 3 years of slumber, not only they are back, but a bunch of older records are being released as Definitive editions (so, basically remastered, plus a few extra songs here and there), new LP is expected sometime this year, and a tour date (USA, of course...) has already been announced.

I will return with another post later today where I give you ideas (which you never asked for, but that's why I am here) where to start, but frankly, I have no fucking idea and I'm hungry. Yes, Hungary and hungry sounds almost the same, very funny, FUCK OFF.


Maybe they realised Battles sucks, hurrr hurrr.

Welcome back though. Only you could write a post on here that's 1800 words long. Fucking impressive bro. And yes, Bing fucking sucks.

So after two months the only songs from battles that I'm still listening are drained,the end,in my room and before i fall for some reason. I think I can see now what's the problem with In Flames. Their new music is easy to listen, I got excited at first but I lost interest quickly. Their songs are good and catchy, but the lack of complexity can make them boring easily. It is just a good album and that's all, nothing special. On the contrary, new Metallica album is a masterpiece. You can hear that they put a lot of efford on the record and their songs require time to explore and fully understand them, unlike In Flames who maybe should have spend more time writting and recording the album ( I am not comparing the two bands, I'm just saying the difference between a good and an excellent record )

Battles is definitely one of those casual albums that you don't mind having on, but wouldn't actively seek out. It just kind of exists. It's not offensive like SC, but at the same time lacks the punch of SOAPF. It's modern In Flames with all the right ingredients but no balls.
 
Alright I'm back from the bathroom

Looking massively forward to Amorphis' first North America tour in several years in March

And then Sabaton in April
Just wish they still played Rise of Evil live : (
 
Battles is definitely one of those casual albums that you don't mind having on, but wouldn't actively seek out. It just kind of exists. It's not offensive like SC, but at the same time lacks the punch of SOAPF. It's modern In Flames with all the right ingredients but no balls.
I think it's the other way around. I think that about SC and I think Battles is the offensive album.
 
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This thread should be flagged for gay porn, because my brojob counter went off limits. Sometimes it's like your sole existence in life to be as ordinary and dull as possible.
 
Haha^ Same old

People agree and discuss an opinion that another human being happens to share, but it's DIFFERENT than Slave's...

So, he must insult those that speak outwardly of their differing opinion than his and he has to try to put them below him because of his weak egotism hahahaha

We get it dude, you know everything and everything you like is the law set in stone and no one should violate that or else they'll be hearing about it
 
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What about the people that agree that SC is better than Battles Slave?

How come when you had people post that they agreed with you, no one called the conversation you would have with them a "brojob", "circle jerk" or called you boring/dull for sharing the same opinion with some people?

Haha such a lack of self awareness.

Now say I'm obssessed with attacking you or something to remove the focus of the conversation off your narcissism
 
And lastly, before you try to use it in your rebuttal, I agree. After having time to digest Battles, I actually find Siren Charms both heavier and more complex than Battles funny enough.

But, do I feel the need to call the people posting above^ to be brojob'ing each other because they happened to agree? No.
 
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I don't think anyone takes Slave seriously any more, so it's alright :D

SC is just one of those albums I will never like. It's repellent to me in every way. Battles is banal, but it's inoffensive enough that it doesn't anger me. It's just there.
 
Now say I'm obssessed with attacking you or something to remove the focus of the conversation off your narcissism
The thing I adore the most in our superhero vs villain encounters (who is whom is secondary now :D) is that just like in every great story based on this plot, the superhero and the villain are always similar!

While you might never admit it, you are just like me. Okay, this is a rather vague thing to state, but hear me out!

First and foremost, you have that passion which makes you from time to time just as retarded (or to be serious, vulnerable) as it makes me. You genuinely care, and that makes you burst out in the middle of things, because shit needs to be goddamn put in their place. See, for a long time, no one else but you entertain my ideas and opinions, because you are relentless! Have you 420 noscoped this motherfucker Jester Slave for 20 times already? Yes, you did, but it's something you have to do, because you know exactly what's right and what's wrong, and if you have to lecture this fag a million times, you will do it. If you think about it, it makes zero sense. You have already realized a long time ago that I'm that stubborn kinda person, whom the more you push, the steadier he stands his ground; sure, certain things might work, but you use the same approach every time, which fails/succeeds (from my/your perspective) every time.

I do the same! Mind my words, in the next six months some fucker with +1 chromosome will say "IF should really change their name, it's not IF anymore", and I will mentally start shaking, paint my face white with a strong, red rogue and go Gestapo on his ass. Then the same old circle of bullshit begins with "well, I didn't mean it like that" and I will absolutely want to tear that person out of existence. I just can't stand that level of mental deterioration, and a primal instinct tells me to correct him.

You also do the "cover your bases" method, which means you answer to made up replies to your post before people could even think about those questions. I rarely see this, and I overall consider it a weakness, and the reason I try to avoid it, because I tell myself that if I have to answer to made up posts, doesn't it mean my post is badly phrased, so it's up to misinterpretation? Still, old habits die hard.
It's quite fascinating how you use more variants of this method in your post-trieftecta.
- There's the seemingly reasonable "before you say I hate SC, let me tell you I think it's more complex than Battles". It's basically the "I have black friends" of racial arguments.
- Then there's the perfect example of you knowing exactly what's going on, but ridiculing my not even made the argument, so if I were to use it, I would look like a tool. "Now say I'm obsessed with attacking you or something to remove the focus of the conversation off your narcissism". I am saying it unironically that it is fucking beautiful. I tend to use this myself a lot. I.e., I am already halfway done with my NIN promo post, and I start it with a paragraph where I explain such post is fine in this thread, because of this and that. No one fucking asked and it's not even fucking true, but I felt the burden of being on the wrong side, so I tried to balance it out.

If you think I'm pulling these out of my ass, just go back to any of my long-winded posts. I assure you I used these fancy, but bullshit ways to cover my bases. As a sidenote, I am not saying it's wrong to answer to made up responses or questions like if you were doing some kind of a FAQ, but that's different.

Now, while to a certain extent it is true for everyone, I think we two especially like to think for sure that we are right. I am an extremely punchable person, but you carry the same mindset, and the only difference we have different opinions on stuff. If you step not one, but two steps back, you could see that you are the same arrogant and entitled bumhole as me. You obviously won't, because that's the whole point. (Also, note how I put words into your mouth, so if you say I am wrong, then I told you you will say that, so that makes me right; or you can say I am right, which again, makes me right.)

Some people are on the edge of their keyboard to call me out on the fact that I write long ass posts like these, while only4theweak is like a golden fish, bombarding with short winded post combos. Well, he thinks if he presses enter a million times and tries so hard to get to the point that he needs 3 fucking posts to actually get there, than he is more intelligent, while I believe in one long post which talks about everything clearly and in depth. Needless to say, I am right. :D

In light of this, you can understand how funny it is when he tries to frame me of a certain mental state, as he is talking to a reflection. Everything he lists against me, could be me saying it about him. I feel especially offended due to the fact, that we have psychiatric evaluation every three years in our workplace with the biggest fucking nazi you've ever seen. That woman is not human on the job.

As a more boring fact, when he acts normal, I totally agree with him, and he's among us few folks who would and still goes to IF shows, and that's respectable!

Honestly, only4theweak has almost all the boxes ticked in what I am looking for in a girl (= I want to love myself = I'm a narcissist, CHECK MATE!!4444!!!). I absolutely adore anyone who goes to ridiculous length to prove their point. I haven't fallen in love too many times in my life, but when I did, it was always when I was listening to a girl being adamant to hold on to the most idiotic things one could imagine. A part of me wanted to suffocate them, but I couldn't, because I was already in love. True story guys, true story.

That's how I feel about my homie, only4theweak too. I bet his fucking name is Justin, I am willing to bet on it, but I don't care, still love him. Do I think he is a fucking idiot at certain times, like now? Yes, I do. But that makes people interesting to me! If he was living here, I'd be more than thrilled to go out and grab a few beers with him! Unless he's fat. No, I'm serious. A surplus of weight is okay, but if he is like Ameri-fat, then NO. I lose all my respect to people who weigh 400 kgs. You can be gay, trans, small, tall, handicapped, anything (other than smelly, I mean, dude...), but no fucking Michelin Man!!!

And I almost forgot to actually reply to the man and his accusations! No, I am not running from the blame, I just deliberately did not want to spoil it in the beginning, because I have an extremely lackluster answer for you: I was just deliberately over the top for fun's sake. You know, nagging my "I'm a literature major who lacks the mental capacity to shorten his fucking signature picture" @DE4life and "I'm just another unoriginal fuck with Jester in his nametag" @Jester313 buddies. Yes, I do realize my own nickname here, that's called self-deprecative humor - just putting it out there, before Justin fucking hammers me to the ground for thinking the irony was lost on me.
 
Now I'm actually interested: what is your real name, guys?

I know mr. @eochaid is Hugo, which is fucking funny in my opinion, like how more Spanish can you be? Fucking Hugo, jesus....

I'm Peter (and my surname is actually Smith, haha), but if I were to be a girl, I would've been Barbara. Man, I a so sad I never had a sister of my age (well, no brothers or sisters to begin with). She would've been a colossal cunt and we would've wrecked havoc everywhere!
 
Nice try, Russian spy.
Your nickname is one that a 10 year old would've chosen 15 years ago, while you have a crossed out Bottle in your signature, plus a 100% homosexual quote from one of your gay friend. No way your irl name tops all of these off.

You seriously need to show something for yourself, because the only good thing you've got going for you is your avatar, which I admit, is top notch.