Males and Females

[Dak]

Being selfish isn't an absolute condition. Hell, we are all selfish at times. But particular reasons for not having children are selfish reasons. Kids are a challenge, but I wouldn't trade mine for anything, especially not for more party possibilities.

 

[CiG]

This is all a bit redundant, we have to say that because kids can't be returned.

It's like the dude with a circumcision going on and on about how it's better etc, because it can't be undone so he has to accept it.

Having a kid is a lifetime project, I never wanted a kid but it just happened because I was an irresponsible teen, I have nothing critical to say to anyone that decides to not do that shit in their life, I really don't see it as selfish either, at least not in the sense that it's anymore selfish than anything else we do.
In fact, you could say that having kids is selfish because it's the only way to preserve the self in any real way.

Meh.
I especially can't fault a woman for not wanting kids, fuck that shit.

 

[The Butt]

I still want to live the rest of my party life, especially since I didn't get to throughout high school.

If that makes me "selfish" in Dak's eyes (I don't think it does, it's my life and I'll live it how I please without judgment), so be it.

 

[tagradh]

Not having kids is not having kids.

Fuck the 'it's selfish' bullshit. Some people don't want kids, and regardless of the reasons for this, it's fine.


Those that argue that it's selfish always seem to ignore that one of the major reasons for people not having kids is that they can't, and it's pretty fucking cunty to preach to or around them about how selfish and immoral being childless is.

When there are so many people, and so many kids without parents, having a kid because you want one, for whatever reason, is just as selfish as not having one.

 

[CiG]

I don't think anybody here is talking down to people unable to have kids.

 

[Dak]

In fact, you could say that having kids is selfish because it's the only way to preserve the self in any real way.

It doesn't though. Having kids is the original "paying it forward". You could adopt if you would prefer that, but I don't see many foregoing having kids because they plan to adopt instead. That would cut into party time.

Meh.
I especially can't fault a woman for not wanting kids, fuck that shit.

Now that's the damn truth. I was present for the whole ordeal for both of mine, including a red light running dash for the hospital with one. On the flip side, between pregnancy and breastfeeding, no period for well over a year, so a small silver lining.

Who said anything about people who can't? I'll even file people who legitimately can't afford to under "can't". I'm in the boat now - it would be irresponsible to have any more children atm. But it certainly isn't because it's going to cut into muh beer money.

 

[CiG]

You know you sound very bitter.

 

[Dak]

You know you sound very bitter.

Clearly have to be bitter to have a negative position on something.

 

[0Marty]

In fact, you could say that having kids is selfish because it's the only way to preserve the self in any real way.

This x1000. Every decision we make, we make because we want to feel better/more valued/proud etc. Whether you want or don't want kids, your decision is based on what do you think is best for you, thus you can say everything we do is selfish.

 

[arg]

i'll choose beer and whores over kids any day

but if i did have one by accident i'm pretty sure i'll end up loving him/her and cut down on my vices

 

[damnromulans]

I dunno. I think "partying" and "hedonism" are not the reason a lot of us don't want children. I think it's more to do with the fact that so many young adults feel burnt out about humanity. Growing into adulthood and realizing you can't raise a kid in the world you want to raise them in, exactly how you want to raise them (too many rules, stupid other parents, strangers are potential enemies not friends, etc), is a big bummer. Potentially another "selfish" hump to get over? Maybe. Adulthood is a slow process. For a lot of people from upper-middle class backgrounds, full adulthood happens at like 30.

Still not having a kid until I've sat on it for at least a year straight and still think it's a great idea.

 

[SentinelSlain]

I'd want to raise a kid in a way that I think would be pretty hard without relocating. I don't like the culture of the people who are here.

 

[Dak]

I dunno. I think "partying" and "hedonism" are not the reason a lot of us don't want children. I think it's more to do with the fact that so many young adults feel burnt out about humanity. Growing into adulthood and realizing you can't raise a kid in the world you want to raise them in, exactly how you want to raise them (too many rules, stupid other parents, strangers are potential enemies not friends, etc), is a big bummer. Potentially another "selfish" hump to get over? Maybe. Adulthood is a slow process. For a lot of people from upper-middle class backgrounds, full adulthood happens at like 30.

Still not having a kid until I've sat on it for at least a year straight and still think it's a great idea.

I know this is all true for many, and I totally sympathize about the concern regarding social pressures on how to raise kids. I just don't think it's true for most. There's never a great time to have kids, on a meta view - always some craziness in the world to be concerned about.

Like I said, I'm not advocating for people to run out and start procreating; the kid thing is just a symptom of bigger cultural problems ("burnt out about humanity"). But it got brought up, so I added the minority viewpoint.

I'll refer this matter to Plato: some people give birth to children, others give birth to ideas.

Pretty sexist.

Edit: lol deleted.

 

[CiG]

Clearly have to be bitter to have a negative position on something.

I'm not trying to be a cunt, it's just there's this beer/partying thing running through your comments.

 

[The Butt]

It doesn't though. Having kids is the original "paying it forward". You could adopt if you would prefer that, but I don't see many foregoing having kids because they plan to adopt instead. That would cut into party time.



Now that's the damn truth. I was present for the whole ordeal for both of mine, including a red light running dash for the hospital with one. On the flip side, between pregnancy and breastfeeding, no period for well over a year, so a small silver lining.

Who said anything about people who can't? I'll even file people who legitimately can't afford to under "can't". I'm in the boat now - it would be irresponsible to have any more children atm. But it certainly isn't because it's going to cut into muh beer money.

Why does it matter though if someone chooses the party life over having a child? It is their life, should they not be able to live as they choose without being called "selfish"?

Having a child is not the end-all be-all.

 

[Carpe Mortem]

At the risk of sounding like the biggest cunt here, I agree with Zeph's deleted comment. To each their own for sure, but I'm a mathematics study and every formula I crack is my baby. My ultimate happy ever after is being able to solve the impossible equations of lore, sipping a bloody mary in a bathrobe before a blackboard.

Call me bright eyed and bushy tailed but that's the dream.

 

[Dak]

I'm not trying to be a cunt, it's just there's this beer/partying thing running through your comments.

Beer and partying run through the majority of comments on this forum.

 

[CiG]

Yeah and you seem to resent it.

Or something.

 

[CiG]

Many of the most satisfying moments in my life have been letting my son rummage through my music collection and seeing him get psyched over songs and bands, so don't get me wrong, I think having children is pretty awesome in the long run.

 

[Dak]

Many of the most satisfying moments in my life have been letting my son rummage through my music collection and seeing him get psyched over songs and bands, so don't get me wrong, I think having children is pretty awesome in the long run.

Yeah, my son is getting old enough to start teaching him simple games like checkers etc and it's pretty awesome watching the gears turn as he learns not just the rules but what works and what doesn't. Also get reminded about how big the world looks from those ages.