Yeah I am the same way. Moshing isn't looked down upon because the guys in the pit get hurt. They will take their lumps and deal with it. It is because of the few dickheads out there that bother or slam into the people that aren't involved in the pit. As I have said many times, I love to mosh when the atmosphere calls for it, but I am considerate to those that do not want to be involved.
As far as "stooping to their level" I disagree. The way I see it, if you take that guy out, you are getting rid of a problem and doing people a favor. People like that don't listen to reason (though like you I would give them the benefit of the doubt first and try) and usually it ends up as the best way to deal with them is beat them at their own game.
And btw I am a tough guy, but I am not a bully nor do I like violence. I do excel at violence on the very rare times when I feel it is necessary to use it, but I use it as a last resort. I'm not going to be a tough guy forever as I am 35 years old, so I am looking into other alternatives.
Bryant