zabu of nΩd
Free Insultation
- Feb 9, 2007
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Yeah, it may just be a matter of getting over the initial shock and making some friends/contacts at Iowa that give you a sense of belonging there.It would normally be situational if it didn't occur within the context of the past month or so of me overreacting to some temporary maladjustment by trying to throw chemicals at my romantically high expectations of myself, failing to attain which has triggered a mental crisis of sorts. I don't give myself enough credit for what I achieve, and being thrown into a new program in which I am now lowest on the totem pole has been a major blow to an ego delusively nurtured by three years of being the flower of the Maine's public education system.
When i first started my programming job, i had major fucking anxiety and thought that everyone could see my incompetence as if it were stamped on my forehead. Fortunately my managers were lenient about my various noob fuckups, and over time i learned to fit into the culture and develop the kind of communication and problem solving skills they needed from me.