not fitting into concerts

bball_1523

bball_1523

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Nov 23, 2003
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I have been to two metal concerts and both of them I have felt that I just did not fit in. I see people wearing their metal shirts and black outfits , some trash talking about certain bands, some people doing drugs, others just having fun and moshing, others headbanging, and most hanging out with other metalheads. I know these are just small generalization and I'm sure some of you do not fit into any concert stereotype, but I feel differently.

For me I went to both concerts by myself because I don't really have any close friends here that are into the same music I am into. While I was at both concerts, I felt as if I just wasn't part of the festivities other than the music that was being played. Rather than taking part of the metal activities I listed above, I just sat back and listened to the music, and tried to enjoy it. But I still felt like I was an outcast because I wasn't wearing all black, or had metalhead friends, or whatever. I feel so out of place when I go to concerts. At least the music is good!

Does anyone else feel the same way as me?
 
The concerts I've gone to were packed full of band wagoners and *core idiots who do that fucking kick boxing crap in mosh pits. Don't get me wrong... I don't like moshers either but a kickboxing idiot is a degenerate among degenerates. So you aren't alone in this. I'm the sole guy wearing a Sy X shirt to a Gwar concert. (I only went because of the show. I hate the music. I probably won't go another one.)
 
Thraxz said:
The concerts I've gone to were packed full of band wagoners and *core idiots who do that fucking kick boxing crap in mosh pits. Don't get me wrong... I don't like moshers either but a kickboxing idiot is a degenerate among degenerates. So you aren't alone in this. I'm the sole guy wearing a Sy X shirt to a Gwar concert. (I only went because of the show. I hate the music. I probably won't go another one.)
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well it's not attending concerts of other bands, it's attending concerts of bands I really like. I went to Gigantour to watch SX and Nevermore, and I felt very isolated when I was there. Of course I went by myself, but I just didn't feel comfortable talking to people because everyone seemed like they knew how to handle concerts. I guess it's because that was my first real and big metal concert. I went to see Opeth in october and I still felt isolated.
 
That is one of the concerts I was talking about. I don't want to seem retardedly elitist but I think the general metalhead/*core bandwagon cretins are an order of magnitude less... cultured... than the prog rock/metal guys and girls.
 
bball_1523 said:
I have been to two metal concerts and both of them I have felt that I just did not fit in. I see people wearing their metal shirts and black outfits , some trash talking about certain bands, some people doing drugs, others just having fun and moshing, others headbanging, and most hanging out with other metalheads. I know these are just small generalization and I'm sure some of you do not fit into any concert stereotype, but I feel differently.

For me I went to both concerts by myself because I don't really have any close friends here that are into the same music I am into. While I was at both concerts, I felt as if I just wasn't part of the festivities other than the music that was being played. Rather than taking part of the metal activities I listed above, I just sat back and listened to the music, and tried to enjoy it. But I still felt like I was an outcast because I wasn't wearing all black, or had metalhead friends, or whatever. I feel so out of place when I go to concerts. At least the music is good!

Does anyone else feel the same way as me?
Click to expand...

I have never been a metal-head, and never will be. YOu're not alone about attending concerts and feeling outcast. I greatly enjoy attending good metal concerts, but don't attend stupid moshing activities. Once, i beated a guy, who hit me ahrd thrice, while moshing. I had warned him twice :D

As for wearing black suits, yes i like black but that's not related to my listening to metal music.

However, if i am watching a great concert, and feel the energy flooding inside me, i may headbang, or applause the band with great enthusiasm. But i am a little perfectionist, and like very few metal bands. I mostly prefer going to classical music concerts instead, and if ever i feel the energy, i don't mosh or headbang in these ones... :D

Finally, most of my friends are like me: who listen to -apart from some other types of music- high quality metal music, but not a metal head...
 
I mean, I love metal music, I am a big prog-metal fan, have enjoyed thrash and some death metal and power metal, but I still don't feel like I am part of the metal community. I guess I feel ok with it, but when I attend concerts I feel so out of place, lol.
 
bball_1523 said:
For me I went to both concerts by myself because I don't really have any close friends here that are into the same music I am into.
Click to expand...

I totally know how you feel. I've had to get used to going to shows alone, and it sucks sometimes, but I'm there for the music and still headbang and sing and whatever. Move to Chicago and we'll go to shows together ;)
 
bball_1523 said:
I have been to two metal concerts and both of them I have felt that I just did not fit in. I see people wearing their metal shirts and black outfits , some trash talking about certain bands, some people doing drugs, others just having fun and moshing, others headbanging, and most hanging out with other metalheads. I know these are just small generalization and I'm sure some of you do not fit into any concert stereotype, but I feel differently.

For me I went to both concerts by myself because I don't really have any close friends here that are into the same music I am into. While I was at both concerts, I felt as if I just wasn't part of the festivities other than the music that was being played. Rather than taking part of the metal activities I listed above, I just sat back and listened to the music, and tried to enjoy it. But I still felt like I was an outcast because I wasn't wearing all black, or had metalhead friends, or whatever. I feel so out of place when I go to concerts. At least the music is good!

Does anyone else feel the same way as me?
Click to expand...
There are plenty of people who go solely for the muisc... I don't see what the big deal is here, man. I've never been drunk or high at a concert, and I've gone to plenty without wearing black, and I've enjoyed them just fine. You're going to the concert to hear music, right?
 
I feel sorry for you. Then again, besides not fitting in at concerts, I personally don't fit in anywhere so don't worry! The only group I fit in is in a group of somewhat fat guitarists.... I would still go to a concert just for the hell of it. Oh, and I do have an insane prog metal guitar playing brother who's favorite band is Symphony X, so if you can, you only really need to find one other person that acts like you to enjoy it!
 
I've never really had that problem with concerts, because it's become a tradition between my bassist and I to always go to shows together. Also, I usually end up meeting up with other people.
For me, concerts have always been about either 1 of 2 things, or both of those 2 things:

1. The Music
2. Rocking the Fuck Out

If I don't know the band too well, then I just rock out, without caring what anybody else says. If I know the band, then I'll enjoy the music.

Having gone to 11 shows by my age of 16, I can safely say that going to a show isn't about fiiting in with any kind of stereotype of show-goer. Then again, Metal itself isn't about fitting in either. It's all a matter of tastes, and how you like to see concerts.

EDIT: I forgot about my drugs and alcohol policy at shows.... Wait. Do I really need one yet? I hate drugs, and I'm still too young to drink legally at shows, so yeah.
 
I usually go to shows with the one friend that I have, which is good because I'm VERY shy and I would never talk to anyone at shows if it weren't for my friend being there with me. However, I still feel a bit outcast sometimes because, although I wear black, I don't do drugs or drink, so it's odd for me to be surrounded by people who are doing just that. I can't see the point in getting drunk or high at a show and not being able to remember anything the next day...
 
ptah knemu said:
Having gone to 11 shows by my age of 16, I can safely say that going to a show isn't about fiiting in with any kind of stereotype of show-goer. Then again, Metal itself isn't about fitting in either. It's all a matter of tastes, and how you like to see concerts.
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He's been to 11 concerts in 16 years guys, watch out, he's pro.

I'll take my 100+ shows in 16 years and put in my 2 percent of a dollar.

I agree the metal shows are fairly close knit, group oriented festivities. Going to a show is all about sharing an experience with fellow mates who dig the same music. Use that and small talk some guys around you. You hear someone talking about X band, maybe pop into the convo, theres no harm in it. When I go to shows, I go to WATCH the people perform, and pick up tricks/tools of the trade. If I wanted to get drunk/high and mosh, I would listen to the cd, hit up some Bacardi, and call a hooker. Thats not the case. I pay my money to watch the show, I don't care about the kids around me, whatever. I have fun at shows, and going to so many, you see familiar faces all the time, its almost like a community, at least in CT.
 
urinalcakemix said:
He's been to 11 concerts in 16 years guys, watch out, he's pro.

I'll take my 100+ shows in 16 years and put in my 2 percent of a dollar.
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Well how long have you been into the music that you go to see? I never really completely established my musical standpoint until about 2 years ago. I also forgot to mention that my first show was a year and a half ago. 11 shows in 1 1/2 years is still kindof alot. Enough to be able to try and help someone.
 
I've never been a metal-head and never be.
I feel always the same sensation whenever I go to a concert (by the way, just a few in my 22yo): it's just me and the group. Everyone else disappears, I reach a trance-like state and then headbang, sing and whatever. I come and go from this state, when a song finishes for example, or when any retarded teen hits me while moshing...
I used to go with my ex-girlfriend and some ex-friends (too), now I'm on my own... so @TMC yeah I know what u mean.
 
I love moshers, they give me something to laugh at.

The main thing I don't like about shows is the abundance of crappy pseudo-goth/kvltier-than-thou opening bands that I'm not interested in seeing, nor will I ever think about ever again once I leave the venue. What makes me feel out of place at concerts is when I see people getting all into bands I don't like or never heard of. Plus, getting totally shitfaced isn't my top priority in life so I don't hang out by the bar. I'm usually the one in the corner or in the back watching from a distance because I don't want to get mauled by moshers. Being isolated isn't always a bad thing; I was standing in a corner doing nothing and I turned around and met the guys from Sabbat that way. :)
 
I've never really seen a problem fitting in at gigs, but then I always go with friends. Since I'm poor, and generally the one venue most bands play in the UK is likely to be in London (which isn't that far, but tickets and trains are expensive) we tend to make gigs an occasion.

The exception, and most disturbing of shows, is at Dragonforce gigs. Full of kids. Children. Some must be about 14 or 15. I'm sure I've mentioned this before but one kid was stuck at the door with HIS MOTHER trying to convince the bouncers he was 12...
 
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