not fitting into concerts

[rockyracoon]

hey I didn't mean to create a "metalhead" stereotype, I was just saying what I have observed and most of people at the shows I went to wore black or at least band shirts and it seemed as if everyone else had buddies with them, and that's what really makes me feel out fo place. I tried to chat around at the shows I went to and it felt alright, but I still felt isolated and embarrassed. At least I got to see three of my fav bands (SX, nevermore, and opeth), although my nevermore experience was ruined because there were people next to me that had drugs and I absolutely HATE drugs.

I am a casual guy and if you were to see me walking around, it would probably be hard to say that I listen to heavy metal. I've had people be surprised that I listen to heavy music, lol, which I think is great!

another thing that bothers me is what people outside of the metal community think of us that listen to metal. I'm sure you guys know what they think.

What a load of crap. You're a casual guy, huh. WTF does that mean, anyway? Outside of shows I wear nice cloths, and black tshirts as well, am I a casual guy too??? Why don't you just quit making excuses for the fact that you clearly have some sort of social disability. Virtually EVERY element of a concert seems to be something you cant handle. And DRUGS!!! Are you that uptight. If you hate drugs, then you should probably hate quite a few of the bands you love too. Not saying they all do them, but drugs are gonna be around no matter where you go. So grow a dick and some balls and try ignoring the fact that someone is burning a joint next to you. Then try making friends with some people who you can enjoy the shows with. And then stop posting about your social inadequacies.

 

[Horus]

Just because you hate drugs, and your favorite band does drugs nonstop doesn't mean you shouldn't like the band.A good friend of mine happens to be the biggest Hendrix fan I know. He hates drugs. He hates almost everything having to do with drugs. That doesn't mean that he shouldn't like Hendrix.

 

[Pharaoh]

I think it all comes down to the reason why people go to metal concerts. From what I've seen, for the most part....prog metal fans go because they appreciate the music. My wife and I have been taking the kids for years, we dress however we feel like dressing. I'm glad we dressed warm for Kamelot, we had to stand outside in the bitter cold for hours. Fitting in? If you're there for the band and music, you fit in just being there. Too many people worry about what other people think about how they look. If somebody dresses goth, packs makeup, etc. it's just to say "look at me", so fine for them. If you don't have a need for attention, fine too. Everybody is unique in their own way. I think everyone should be easier on themselves and stop worrying so much.

 

[Thraxz]

What a load of crap. You're a casual guy, huh. WTF does that mean, anyway? Outside of shows I wear nice cloths, and black tshirts as well, am I a casual guy too??? Why don't you just quit making excuses for the fact that you clearly have some sort of social disability. Virtually EVERY element of a concert seems to be something you cant handle. And DRUGS!!! Are you that uptight. If you hate drugs, then you should probably hate quite a few of the bands you love too. Not saying they all do them, but drugs are gonna be around no matter where you go. So grow a dick and some balls and try ignoring the fact that someone is burning a joint next to you. Then try making friends with some people who you can enjoy the shows with. And then stop posting about your social inadequacies.

If this arguement wasn't so full of hypocrisy and double standards I'd agree.

 

[rockyracoon]

Just because you hate drugs, and your favorite band does drugs nonstop doesn't mean you shouldn't like the band.A good friend of mine happens to be the biggest Hendrix fan I know. He hates drugs. He hates almost everything having to do with drugs. That doesn't mean that he shouldn't like Hendrix.

Can you spell sarcasm? The point I am/was trying to make is that it's completely ridiculous to worry about people doing drugs at a concert. Why should it matter at all? I'm not speaking literally, claiming that someone who hate drugs shouldnt like a band who does them, simply that if drugs are something that bother you that much, then you are making yourself the outcast

It's not like the bulk of concert-goers are shooting up heroin right next to you. Its mostly someone with a joint, or maybe a little blow being done in the bathroom. I don't smoke, but I sure as hell don't care if someone next to me does, it just comes with the territory. And it's certainly no good reason to feel like an outcast.

 

[Jax]

Lay off the insults and name calling. If you have to attack anything, attack the idea, not the person..everyone's entitled to their own opinions & disagreeing with you doesn't make them wrong. Play nice or play elsewhere.

 

[bball_1523]

haha, I think some of you took my thoughts the wrong way.

I personally don't care if people want to do drugs at concerts, I just wish for them to be more polite and do it elsewhere. I do not want to be smelling smoke of any kind, it is personally offending and I have a hard time concentrating on the music. If you feel differently, then that is because you are ok with it, everyone treats things differently. I feel offended when there are people smoking near me at school so I move away. I can care less if the bands are druggies or not, I care for their music.

I do not have some horrible social disabilities, and I hope you were being sarcastic about that too because I honestly felt slightly offended when you said that about me. I am just telling you guys that I feel out of place at concerts. It could be the fact that I have bearly been to any concerts and am about to get used to everything.

I agree about some of the metal fans being nice enough to talk and I was conversing a little at the concerts I went to. I still do feel out of place though. Maybe if I went with friends I'd feel a little better.

 

[ThornsOfSorrow]

I think that you'll get used to the drugs as you go to more shows. I used to feel strange when people were smoking pot right next to me, but now I don't even think twice about it. As long as they're not forcing me to smoke with them, then I'm fine with it.

I think you'd definitely feel better if you brought friends. Even if your friends don't listen to the same music that you do, ask them if they want to go to a show just for fun. A lot of people go to shows just to talk to people and hang out with their friends, rather than really pay attention to the music (although I don't think it should be like that). And you never know: just talking to a random person at a show can cause you to become friends with that person. I'm shy too, but people talk to me all the time. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I'm female, but a lot of metal fans are just friendly anyway. I'd suggest just going to more shows; then you won't feel so out of place.

 

[Thraxz]

I don't seem strange when they do that... I hate them. Nothing but a bunch of morons with no consideration for others.

 

[Dustro25]

wow

 

[Horus]

It is pretty funny in the middle of songs that I dont care for as much, when I look at drunk people and see them doing something completely rediculous. At Ozzfest, there was this guy who wore a box on his head for shade. While Mudvayne and In Flames were on, he was headbanging or dancing (I've yet to determine which.) and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

But overall, ........ Umm..... Yeah...... I don't know where else to go with this. I just wanted to bring up Box Guy, while we were on the subject of drunk people at concerts.

 

[The Yngster]

Believe it or not, people will still talk to you at concerts if you're not wearing a black metal shirt. And if you go by yourself with no intentions of finding people to hang out with during the show of course you're going to feel left out, cause when you're by yourself theres nothing to do but awkwardly watch everyone else. My suggestion, either convince your friends to go with you or be willing to find people to hang out with at shows

 

[The Yngster]

And as far as the drugs go, instead of just sitting there sulking about how your entire experience is ruined, how about turning and politely asking if they mind blowing the smoke the other way?

 

[bball_1523]

And as far as the drugs go, instead of just sitting there sulking about how your entire experience is ruined, how about turning and politely asking if they mind blowing the smoke the other way?

that's something that I need to work on. I just feel afraid that they will find me very "unfriendly."

 

[Thraxz]

Dude, blowing the smoke the other way will keep me from having to smell it? Umm... no. Unless you subscribe to the way restaurants see physics.

 

[The Yngster]

He said that he didnt want to smell like it, not that he didnt want to smell it, although if he hates drugs im sure he doesnt want to smell it either, but either way if the smoke is blown the other way then it will prevent him from smelling like smoke. so yeah... and if the people get pissed about you asking that then they're just assholes, dont feel bad about alerting security

 

[Horus]

Well smelling like it is mostly inevitable at metal shows, since the venues usually get filled with the smoke. But then there's a difference between smelling like traces of it and reeking of it. Reeking of it sucks. Your clothes get all stanky, and the smell doesn't go away.

Luckily, that doesn't happen, unless you're actually doing the drugs. Or if the venue turns into a giant bong, but I've only heard of that happening once. Metallica @ Nassau Coliseum (Hempstead, New York) on 4/20/04. But that was just because it was 4/20.

My point: Smelling of drugs is inevitable. The thing you have to worry about is reeking of drugs after shows.

 

[OfSinsAndShred]

personally don't care if people want to do drugs at concerts, I just wish for them to be more polite and do it elsewhere. I do not want to be smelling smoke of any kind, it is personally offending and I have a hard time concentrating on the music.

Smelling smoke makes it hard to concentrate on music that's being blasted in your face at ear-damaging levels? Yeah, okay.

As RockyRaccoon said, it seems you have a problem with every aspect of metal concerts except the music... and supposedly, the concerts are about the music. But if you're going to hate the whole experience - just don't go. Seriously, if the fact that people are wearing black is an issue to you, what are you doing at a metal concert? What are you expecting it to be like?

 

[greenaxer]

bball,

I kinda used to feel the same way about not fitting in. I was pretty self conscious when I was younger (teen), but being older now, I realize priority number one should be the MUSIC! You go to concerts to enjoy a band that excites you, and at the end of the day, watching them play live for you is all that matters. So don't worry about feeling out of place because of the crowd. It's really no big deal. As long as you're happy seeing a band you like (and they play well), then it's all good. Yeah, it will help if you find a friend to go with.

One other thing, you might start talking to someone who dresses or looks different (the all black clothing, etc), and they may surprise you. They may have that look that makes you weary or uncomfortable, but like people said, if you just chat with them, they can turn out to be really cool. That's been my experience for the most part. But if you wish, go ahead and stay away from the drunks - they can really annoy people after a while.

 

[Thraxz]

You obviously have no idea what other people consider reeking of smoke.

I loved Gigantour because you cannot smoke at all in the Thomas and Mack Center. (Of course that wasn't the ONLY reason... or even the biggest...)