Own Pictures

[waif]

it goes for candy as well!

good boy

Sorry to bounce this back up but this is probably one of the most ignorant internet "fads" out there.. and its not surprising i only see this kind of remark from either americans or english.
The only reason why it exists is because of WW2... a war in which england got ass kicked just as much as France (not to mention Poland and Norway).
France was at least 3 times in history the most powerfull military nation in Europe (hence perhaps the world), and since the country existed it has always been among the military powers of the world. this is something very few countries can claim.
Go study history, or dare debate that with me.

Okay...
1. I was being sarcastic, I don't hate France
2. You guys definitely got pwned in WW2 way harder than England
3. 3 times...let's see...Napoleon. How long did that last?
Missing out on the other 2, please enlighten me.
4. You guys have had your asses handed to you all through history.

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

 

[Beave]

French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

Hahahahaha .... funny shit. Wasn't that from Jon Stewart's "America"?


I dunno, when it's put like that, maybe France's acheivements are indeed more cultural than military (they're lovers not fighters) But to be fair, Charles Martel's victory at the Battle of Tours was a pretty pivotal event in European history, and Charlemagne was certainly no slouch in the military department. Also, the Brits totally would have been steamrolled in WWII had it not been for the channel. Consider how Rommel's tiny Afrika Korp. kicked their greatly numerically superior asses all over N. Africa until he ran out of supplies.

TBH, I think the French reputation for haughtiness is at the root of their unpopularity. However from what i've heard most of this attitude emanates from Parisians, but outside of Paris they're supposedly pretty cool, at least in N. France..

 

[Erzebeth.Rouge]

Quote:
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

Who wrote that!? Woa! that guy that wrote this bullshit about France's losses clearly looks only at the results! Wasnt Roman empire the best and strongest of all? What about Chinese empire that ruled the world for 1000/2000 years more or less when Europe was still trying to reorganize itself from the dismembering of Rome? Oh yea, back then, what would become France was clearly dominating europe, if not influencing it greatly. France was the principal heir of Roman empire, thanks to Clovis(although screw you for conversion.. ), III-IVth century, then what about Charlemagne 768-814 who expand the frontiers. Wouldnt that be a victory? It started to give clear definition of the actual country anyway!

From 1826 to 1913, France was in control of the vastest colony empire, after Great Britain of course, expending from 100 000km² to 10 500 000 km² territory between these years. They controled most of Africa and a nice chunk of Thailand and suroundings. When USA, between these years, controled... hum.. nothing! until 1913 (310 000km²). Wouldnt you consider that a victory?

Would have USA really have won they independance war if it was for the help of other nations? maybe! why not, i cant tell myself, but instead of being disdainful of the help the country got, why not be thankful instead? USA could still be english for all i care!

What about the influence France got in the world's culture? im not gonna start on that, even if its already started. But to have had that great influence, France needed to be recognized as having an importance, what ever battlefield they gained one day and lost the other in history, war is what it is. Culture is something else. If you want to consider France as a looser reguarding warfare, i think we should better consider what victorious France is in term of cultural influence.

And anyway if you consider France is still around after 2000 years, she must have won a few fights. because she started as a small island (Lutèce, ile de France, Paris) and is one of the largest unified country in europe, is one of the founding members of the united states of Europe, has never believe in american propaganda without a soupçon de méfiance, especially towards the american economic imperialism, it might be one of the many reasons US is not admire of an enduring superior culture.

...especially if we consider all empire comes to an ends....someday...

 

[waif]

Hahahahaha .... funny shit. Wasn't that from Jon Stewart's "America"?

No. It's from the internet.

I dunno, when it's put like that, maybe France's acheivements are indeed more cultural than military (they're lovers not fighters) But to be fair, Charles Martel's victory at the Battle of Tours was a pretty pivotal event in European history, and Charlemagne was certainly no slouch in the military department. Also, the Brits totally would have been steamrolled in WWII had it not been for the channel. Consider how Rommel's tiny Afrika Korp. kicked their greatly numerically superior asses all over N. Africa until he ran out of supplies.

True. The British suck too. America, on the other hand, has never needed to be saved by a French guy.

Who wrote that!? Woa! that guy that wrote this bullshit about France's losses clearly looks only at the results!

Which is the part where it says who won and who lost. Making it a rational place to look to see who lost.

Wasnt Roman empire the best and strongest of all?

Yes. And they pwned France.

What about Chinese empire that ruled the world for 1000/2000 years more or less when Europe was still trying to reorganize itself from the dismembering of Rome?

Uh...what about it?

Oh yea, back then, what would become France was clearly dominating europe

What would become France geographically. I'm not sure if it was the same people, but I don't think it was.

France was the principal heir of Roman empire

See? Italy did it all for you!

what about Charlemagne 768-814 who expand the frontiers. Wouldnt that be a victory?

Yes. Of course, his empire held together nicely after he died, didn't it?

From 1826 to 1913, France was in control of the vastest colony empire

You sure you want to claim imperialism as an accomplishment? One thing I'm proud of America for is not oppressing black people. Oh, wait...
But anyhow, Imperialism is something to be ashamed of, if you ask me. The shit those guys did was pretty nasty. Besides which, the British were better at it.

When USA, between these years, controled... hum.. nothing! until 1913 (310 000km²)

We had the US. Which is superior to shitty African wasteland.

Wouldnt you consider that a victory?

Not at all, actually. You weren't fighting anyone except a couple natives with spears (if this makes you feel manly maybe you should go to a preschool and start kicking ass).

Would have USA really have won they independance war if it was for the help of other nations?

Yes, actually. The aid of the French mostly helped in bringing Europe into it, which gave the British more to worry about. There was some French military aid at the Battle Of Yorktown, but we would have won that without them. The war was over sooner because of French aid, but we would have won it.

maybe! why not, i cant tell myself, but instead of being disdainful of the help the country got, why not be thankful instead? USA could still be english for all i care!

Okay, thanks. But I would point out that it wasn't until the American victory at the Battle of Saratoga that the French stepped in. They waited till they knew they would win to actually help. And French aid was not as significant as the French would like to think.

What about the influence France got in the world's culture?

Well, let's see...1 in 5 American soldiers returning from France after WWI had an STI. So there's that.

If you want to consider France as a looser reguarding warfare,

I do.

i think we should better consider what victorious France is in term of cultural influence.

Well...let's see. You watch our movies...you eat our food. You speak our language.

And anyway if you consider France is still around after 2000 years, she must have won a few fights.

Um....how many times can I point out that France would be part of the German Empire without the aid of Britain, Russia, and the US?

I don't hate France. And I don't think they're wimps. But there is a case to be made for the French being a bunch of pussies.

 

[Aurvandils tá]

Uhm...

"Charlemagne", how you call it, was ruled by Germans (Franken - Frankenreich) ...
And it's not Charle martel, but "Karl der Hammer" That's the greatest loss because a single Germanic tribe conquered all of Gaul in a couple of years (and other tribes conquered the rest of western Europe)


Even before Viking Era the Germanics pwnd!!!

Bærserkergang

Remember the battle of Caesar against Ariovist where 5000 gallic riders were routed by 800 suebi horsemen notworthy

 

[waif]

And it's not Charle martel, but "Karl der Hammer" That's the greatest loss because a single Germanic tribe conquered all of Gaul in a couple of years (and other tribes conquered the rest of western Europe)

This is what I was trying to remember. Those Dark Ages "French" people who kicked ass? Germans.

 

[Trashhead]

True. The British suck too. America, on the other hand, has never needed to be saved by a French guy.

That's because nobody actually wants to help/clean up after America. Plus, they've done a damn good job of getting their asses kicked on their own.

 

[SilentRealm]

I have no beef against WeAreInFlames - but there's not much I hate more than the whole 'America is the best' bullshit.. that's usually the attitude of white middle class society who has never experienced anything else. If you step outside the box at some time in your life you may find that America is not as great as you might have been led to believe..

 

[S.U.A.D.]

I have no beef against WeAreInFlames - but there's not much I hate more than the whole 'America is the best' bullshit.. that's usually the attitude of white middle class society who has never experienced anything else. If you step outside the box at some time in your life you may find that America is not as great as you might have been led to believe..

Out of curiosity (and this is not me trying to come off as obnoxious or misinformed in the slightest), have you lived in the U.S. before? As a citizen my whole life, I have to say that there are awesome parts and shitty parts to living in the States. I want to visit other countries, but at this point, have no desire to live in them. Of course, the only direct reference point WE have is Canada or Mexico, and I for sure know that I'm not totally wild about Mexico, even if it is fun for short periods of time.

 

[Celtik Militia]

ok, I didn't even bother to read that american's dude copy/paste answer about the "defeats of france"... i know those lines all too much.
While skipping through your post I accidently saw a remark on the napoleonic era... thats one prime example indeed.. I didn't read what you copy/pasted but I'm guessing its in the lines of : french revolution.. the french fought against the french hence they were bound to win, and under napoleon they ended up losing after a short moment of victories...
Historically speaking, the french revolution was : french revolutionaries vs french royalists AND the british AND the austrians, AND the spanish, AND the portugese...ET fucking cetera... and the result was.... invading countries got ass kicked so much that france invaded belgium and annexed it... although france was in the middle of a civil war...
Secondly... if you think germany kicked ass in world war 2, the napoleonic wars lasted about 25 years... 23 years of France dominating... Germany in ww2 dominated for 4 years... and they had superior weaponry... france in napoleonic wars didn't.
Also, I always find it funny that thing about making a list of all the defeats... just so you know, France exists since the 6ths century or so which makes it one of the oldest countries in Europe which still exists today... hence you are bound to find a number of military defeats... what I'd like your hypocrite ass to do is a list of military victories and then compare them with the military victories and accomplishments of other european countries. You'll find out France has a pretty good "score" there...
I said france was the number one european military power at least 3 times, i'll tell you when : Charlemagne, Louis XIV, Napoleon. Those are the eras.. with that we may add Clovis and, sorry to say.. WW1. Yes.. after WW1 France was considered invincible which is why its defeat in WW2 was such a shock. Such a shock that it even got to shock little american minds.. which is why you only focalise on France when 95% of all european countries (hence 99% of the world) have always been militarilly inferior to France. (let me add to other europeans that, unlike some americans, I don't base my hatred against other countries on their military defeats. I respect all nations and cultures).

Thanks Erzebeth.Rouge for helping. Vive le Quebec!

Edit : Weareinflames : I read what you actually posted.. and I see I was right.. you really did overuse the copy/paste thing! Honestly man, your sources are truly wrong and come from some ignorant french hating american website which started because France had the courage to not submit to american imperialism about the war in Iraq... you're trying to pass for some guy who knows about history but honestly.. you know fuck all.. you're just another ignorant american shithead.
Let me tell you this : I have the american nationality. Yes. I'm french and american. And as a double national I'm fucking less biased than you are.. and as a pastionate in history I can tell that you don't know shit and I serve dumbasses like you for breakfast. Get your own opinion dipshit, stop getting it from dumb simple minded "haters".. you'll look less of an idiot that way and this debate will actually be more interesting.

 

[Erzebeth.Rouge]

Well...let's see. You watch our movies...you eat our food. You speak our language.

I will only bother answering this one....
I watch movies from all over the world - the original language if possible - so i can understand the different cultures and point of views.
I eat what I cook, my way, much more asian and european inspired than anything else. I havent ate a burger for a good 12 years. And THATS because I know HOW TO COOK.
And just so you know, if you havent noticed QUEBEC under my avatar, or wondered what it meant or what/where it refered too, youd know that my first language is french. If you knew about geography, youd notice that Québec is part of Canada. If you knew as much history, or actuallity even, as you claim, youd know that Quebec is the sole french-speaking territory in north America, and this since colonization(1600); so no, im not speaking your language, i learned it. And im not stoping at it either.
Oh... US didnt created english, so 'your' language isnt much 'yours' anyway.

 

[False Joe]

But in their defense, American's have butchered and simplified the English language so much it is pretty much their own.

Aloo-me-numb?!

 

[BurningCreation]

Reminder: This is the "Own Pictures" thread!!!

 

[False Joe]

Bah. Fussy.

Here's some drunk picture I took after coming home from a party on Sunday.

Sweaty, public-school-boy hair FTW.

 

[Aurvandils tá]

Bah. Fussy.

Here's some drunk picture I took after coming home from a party on Sunday.

Sweaty, public-school-boy hair FTW.

http://a851.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/44/l_94de827d095efdd1226f3a63606e6cf2.jpg

Oh damn it! YOU really look like a welsh fucker!!!



I apolehoweveritswritten for giving the start of this flame war But war is my business, sorry for that!

Peace brothers!

 

[False Joe]

Shit that's not good

I'm an English fucker

 

[Vilewoman]

I know I am going to sound like a hippy here, but so be it...
Anyone here thinking about the HUMAN factor here. EVERY country has been sacked or ruled by another since the dawn of time. Not many countries have not been ruled by a stronger empire. Romans, Egyptian...the list goes on.
We could even debate gods! Romans stole em from the Greek, blah blah...not in truth. Greeks stole em from the Ectrucians...who probably stole some from the Minioans, who was greatly influenced by the Babylonians...(anyone getting my point here?) Humans spread ideas, beliefs and knowledge.
Yes I will agree that France has been caught with their hands in the cookie jar a few times, but..so has AMERICA!
No one person is right. All countries has something to offer, every human on the planet could learn and grow by leaving their country and going to another. (Not just american's)

A lot of countries speak english for two reasons, America and England. (Hello commerce) Who cares what "version" you speak you still speak it. I am an American who has dabbled in Latin, French, Thai and sometimes English. Does that make me the only american thinking outside the box, hell no. I am probably the only white person in New Mexico that doesn't care to learn Spanish. Why? Blame it on the Inquisition. I just don't care to learn Spanish.

Now that I have babbled, my point here is, humans are effected by one another. Your friend tells you a good joke, your tell five other friends...well good stories are that way too...and how better tell the story, then to learn it in the language it was taught to in? If not, then you run around sounding like....All your base are belong to us. (Ya my nerd moment)

 

[GmT-Curwen]

Sorry to get in, but I just wanted to say something: It's not bad if you love your country (actually, it's great to be proud of the land were you live if you can call it home), but if there's something that pisses me of, it's when people talk like if they had anything to do with the defeats or victories of the country. Your country was asskicked by the evil conquerors from across the giant's blood? It wasn't your fault, you don't have to be ashamed of that, but also, don't speak of the victories like if it was you the one who kicked the other's countries asses, you probably didn't even exist. And don't say shit about places you don't know, that's a very retarded asshole attitude, if you want to criticize someone, do it for what he or she is, not from were he/she comes, nobody chooses were to born.

A lot of countries speak english for two reasons, America and England. (Hello commerce) Who cares what "version" you speak you still speak it. I am an American who has dabbled in Latin, French, Thai and sometimes English. Does that make me the only american thinking outside the box, hell no. I am probably the only white person in New Mexico that doesn't care to learn Spanish. Why? Blame it on the Inquisition. I just don't care to learn Spanish.

Es una lástima, yo lo considero uno de los idiomas más ricos y hermosos que existen

 

[Vilewoman]

Es una lástima, yo lo considero uno de los idiomas más ricos y hermosos que existen

See, I feel that way about sign. Beautiful to watch and not a word spoken

 

[Aurvandils tá]

Well I think to be proud of your country is not really conclusive... You should be proud of your folk and blood or something like that. For me a black man f.e. born and living in London and beeing an English citizen is not an English. English is a son of English parents. Same goes for Germany. 22% of the German citizens aren't German. It's stupid to arrange people in order referring where they were born. It's not the place that makes you but the genetics.