Sex and Opeth

[Blackwinged]

You know the old saying "You have jacked off so many times in the shower you get a hard-on when it rains"????

Well I have made love to Opeth so many times, I find myself...well..uh...how should I say this...getting a little "excited" (did I just quote myself? Someone shoot me now!) when I listen to Opeth.

This can really be a problem folks. When driving by myself, I can no longer listen to Opeth in the car, or I might find myself a bit on the tight-side of the force.

Is there anything I can do? I have tried the rubber-band trick that many use to quit smoking, but find my swollen penis, though actually larger then before, to be ugly as hell and sore (my wife on the other hand seems to be encouraging this rubber band thing, to the point where I am getting a bit suspicious of her real motive)


HELP ME OPETH FORUM, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!

Your an idiot. Cut your nuts off and shut the fuck up.

 

[Demilich]

Your an idiot. Cut your nuts off and shut the fuck up.

Can't handle people making serious, non-derivative posts that don't involve "what's your favourite album?" or "mikael is a genius" or "i love opeth"?
why not get off the board and save us all the trouble?

 

[Lina]

Wow, foxdvd, blast from the past, eh?

 

[hibernal_dream]

Just .

 

[Vehemens]

This is random and kinda sick...but hilarious nonetheless!

Except for Apocalyptic's post...that's just wrong and a waste of space.

 

[jaykeegan]

One time i was listening to Opeth and there was this 12 year old girl sitting across the street, and me being the silly dude i am, i walked over there and sarcastically asked if she would like to fuck hard. she said "no", but me being the silly dude i am i grabbed her by her hair and dragged her to my bed and fucked her while listening to Serentity Painted Death. It was really fucking sick and disturbing. I threw up all over her. Then she told me she wasnt 12, but she was 13, but she was born on a leap year so she was actually in her late 40's/early 50's, and then i puked all over her again and fucked her harder while listening to Black Rose Immortal. She then told me she was never born in the first place and i was fucking an image of myself as a 12/late 40's/early 50's girl the whole time. It was really fucking sick and disturbing. but after all; i am the silly dude i am.

That was my new poem i wrote. sorry if i offended anyone born on a leap year.

thats fucked up.

 

[Judas Pissed]

no, that's just not funny.

at this topic though

 

[foxdvd]

Your an idiot. Cut your nuts off and shut the fuck up.

LOL...I don't think I want to you join YOUR "little" nut-free club if you know what I mean. I will just stay an Almond Joy for now thank you .


HEY LINA!

 

[Ermz]

Oh such laughs.

 

[Angelus]

Hahahaha I can't stop lauging at the stuff people write in hear, it's hilarious!

 

[AndICried]

One time i was listening to Opeth and there was this 12 year old girl sitting across the street, and me being the silly dude i am, i walked over there and sarcastically asked if she would like to fuck hard. she said "no", but me being the silly dude i am i grabbed her by her hair and dragged her to my bed and fucked her while listening to Serentity Painted Death. It was really fucking sick and disturbing. I threw up all over her. Then she told me she wasnt 12, but she was 13, but she was born on a leap year so she was actually in her late 40's/early 50's, and then i puked all over her again and fucked her harder while listening to Black Rose Immortal. She then told me she was never born in the first place and i was fucking an image of myself as a 12/late 40's/early 50's girl the whole time. It was really fucking sick and disturbing. but after all; i am the silly dude i am.

That was my new poem i wrote. sorry if i offended anyone born on a leap year.

best post ever

 

[wish to die in summer rains..]

ı think that's not funny too..and foxdvd ı wish u a speedy recovery for that fuckin problem of yours-no solution found except if u are a REAL idiot

 

[Brian]

Try banging to the end of Deliverance. Theres a workout if I ever had one.

 

[Destroyer Of Orden]

That.Is.The.Funniest.Thing.I.Have.Ever.Read.

 

[Apocalyptic]

one time i had mushrooms while eating opeth and listening to sex. was it awesome. move the "it" in "was it awesome" to the beginning of the sentence, replacing "was" with "it". so the sentence would read "it was awesome". I puked all over sex and ate it again. awesome it was. i can keep that sentence how it is; because however awkward it may sound, it is still correct english.


*Signature*
http://www.freevibe.com/Drug_Facts/scenarios.asp Please go to this site. Learn the facts and dangers of smoking marijuana. These flash videos are what one should do in case some loser pothead asks one to smoke. The videos are both informative and have a very real feel to it. Everyone should find their Anti-Drug. What's my Anti-Drug? Regression of the mind bra..... regression.

 

[Episteme]

This is hilarious

 

[Darkness_Claimed_my_Flesh...]

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
omfg apocalyptic is the funniest person in the world!!!!
marry me!!!!!!!