story game

[RampageSword]

Michael Moore jumped off a chopper with a camera and started asking question about animal cruelty to Siren. Surprised, she said "What the heck are ya doing here?" "I'm doing a documentary on animal cruelty!" said Moore. "Oh are you pro or con?" asked Rampy. "Pro, every species except humans should die cause we're so great!" said the journalist. "Die you shall then. Good I see not in you fatboy." said Yoda and he strangled him with his Jedi powers and then went berserk and begun cutting through the mountains with his lightsaber. Dark Jester, with a demented look on his face, said :

 

[marduk1507]

"Murder one, murder one!" and then...

 

[RampageSword]

He reached for is Acme-built "inflatable superior court" and started busting his lungs off at it. "How many more Assholes do we have here?" said Undo, completely stunned by Dark Jester's performance. Then

 

[marduk1507]

marduk turned to Undo and said: "Assholes, you have many more assholes, how many more assholes do you have, assholes?" and went back to the glass mountain. As he was cutting the glass he saw something blue inside. Then the beautiful plummage appeared, then the whole bird. A parrot. A dead parrot to be precise. "Polly!!!" marduk screamed and fainted. Undo went and said:

 

[Magrathean]

"My ex-girlfriend's parrot! No wonder she broke up with me when i made that joke about dead parrots.." Siren and Rampage just stared at him.

So they cut through three mountains and half of the last, but just then QRV said: "Hey, guys, i seriously need to get a piss." So he pissed strawberry milkshake, which instantly froze and made up for what the others had cut of the mountain. So everyone stared at QRV with :Smug: face, and Dark_Jeser began saying something about something being illegal and whatnot, but nobody was actually listening to him, because at that moment a man clad in grey armor (kind of looking like the Master Chief from the Halo games) walked up to them and raised a hand at mardy as a greeting.

"Master rahvin!" mardy screamed before turning towards Siren and saying: "See? I told you he was real!" Siren rolled her eyes at this, but rahvin...

 

[RampageSword]

Who was fond of strawberry milkshake, took off his helmet, sheated his sword and...

 

[Magrathean]

Started caressing what milkshake QRV had pissed. Undo began to say something, but then Dark_Jester interrupted him:

 

[QRV]

"I think the rivers of sand are just past that small glass hill with the grumpy-looking Skeletor-like figure on top of it."

Then marduk, who was very fond of the old He-Man episodes, started to shake from toes to head and his eyes opened wide enough for his eyeballs to slip out of their sockets. Actually, they did slip out of their sockets and fell into the milkshake piss. Rhavin did not want to taste it anymore after that, yet marduk...

 

[Magrathean]

...didn't seem to notice and just picked up his eyes again. But, before he could put them on, Undo said "look, the Master Chief has ingested the last mountain!". mardy turned towards where he thought Undo was and corrected him: "He's not the Master Chief, he's Master rahvin." "Whatever," Undo replied, not paying attention, and they all moved on to the seven rivers of sand.

"Rivers!" Siren cried, jumping into one but hitting herself hard in the head, as they weren't made of water. The rest made :Smug: faces, except mardy, who was still trying to put his eyes back in their holes...

 

[RampageSword]

and realized he was screwing them in backwards "Shit dudes, you're all upside-down!" he said, confused. "Oh just quit it now and put on your eyes the right way around" said Rampy, who, at the same time tried to taste the river's sand. "This sand is not sand" he said, "it's brown sugar mixed with peanut shells."
"So, what are we gonna do?" asked Undies. Instantly, a light bulb appeared over Siren head and she shouted :

 

[Siren]

"I'm hungry, give me those eyeballs!"

But then everyone's hair was lifted 2 cms in the air and they froze in the thought that all the rumours about eating human flesh could actually be true..

So QRV who was not in such a grave danger, seeing as he indeed was a walking milkshake can, had a brilliant thought and said to Siren:

 

[RampageSword]

"Why don't ya eat my eyes instead?" Then, everybody watched QRV....

 

[Siren]

in shock, while he broke laughing and said "haha i was kidding! how about trying to eat the rivers instead? that should open our way"

Siren, even though terribly hungry, thought about her silhouette and suggested they find another way to pass the sand rivers..

 

[QRV]

So Master Rhavin looked at marduk and said: "Pass me thy wombat", but marduk just looked away and hughed his wombat tightly. They had to promise him 10 free hamburgers, 12 pizzas and 36 bags of gumdrops (courtesy of Undies) before he finally gave the wombat to rhavin. Then rhavin uttered some words in old italian, after which the wombat suddenly started growing til it reached the size of a small sailing boat.

"There", said rhavin. "Everybody get on top of the wombat. We're sailing away."

 

[RampageSword]

"What if someone activates the wombat and sets it to detonate?" asked Siren frightfully. "Oh, you mean like this" answered mardy and he activated the wombat. rahvin, being the first to react, grabbed undie and threw him off the sailing wombat. Then he grabbed Dark Jester, who said something like "I'll see you in court, pederast" but rahvin didn't care and threw him off too. Then he reached for Rampy, followed by Siren and QRV and finally he took mardy, but...

 

[QRV]

...the wombat just made a weird sound and didn't explode. "Mmmh. There must be a problem with the wombat's gas chamber. The sparks are coming out, but without gas it just doesn't work", said rhavin. marduk, however, farted loudly, and next thing everyone knew they were high on the air, miles above the surface...

 

[Magrathean]

So Siren, QRV, Rampy, Dark_Jester and Undo looked up at the air, trying to stay under rahvin and mardy so they could catch them when they came back down, but then Rampy got hungry and started eating all the sugar (he left the peanut shells alone), and with the moving ground and all the other three slipped and tripped, and so rahvin and mardy hit the ground hard.

"Hmmm," Undo said, thoughtfully, "we'll have to think of another way through the rivers." But no ideas seemed to come to his mind. Just then, rahvin said, with :Smug: face, "why don't we just walk? I mean, it's just sugar..." "And peanut shells," mardy added with eyes, running back towards where his ex-wombat had fallen...

 

[RampageSword]

but then Rampy got hungry and started eating all the sugar (she left the peanut shells alone)

Is it just me that's not reading you right or are you implying that I am a woman? Cause I'm not.

 

[Magrathean]

I know you're not. My most sincere apologies; i was replying to seventeen posts at once while answering cell phone messages from my girlfriend and thinking about how slow my computer was being. I'll just edit my post.

 

[RampageSword]

i was replying to seventeen posts at once while answering cell phone messages from my girlfriend and thinking about how slow my computer was being.

Drop some of your needs. Doing so many things at once, you're worse than women...