teh joke thread omg
- Thread starter Malaclypse
- Start date
RampageSword
AWARE! BEWARE! WAR!
Ok. I mean, personnaly the best joke you can tell or be told when you're drunk or when your brain is running low on batteries is:
Two eggs in frying pan. The first one says :
"Damn it's hot!"
and the other replies :
"Holy shit, a talking egg!"
Two eggs in frying pan. The first one says :
"Damn it's hot!"
and the other replies :
"Holy shit, a talking egg!"
Magrathean
worldbuilder
It is funny.
Okay, another egg joke.
Q: What happens when you put an egg into a microwave oven?
A: You squash your other one when you try to close the microwave's door.
(Okay, it's better in spanish.)
Okay, another egg joke.
Q: What happens when you put an egg into a microwave oven?
A: You squash your other one when you try to close the microwave's door.
(Okay, it's better in spanish.)
RampageSword
AWARE! BEWARE! WAR!
Magrathean
worldbuilder
RampageSword
AWARE! BEWARE! WAR!
Q : Why do you a put a baby feet first in a blender?
A :To see his many facial expressions.
(I have a dozen more jokes of this kind
)
A :To see his many facial expressions.
(I have a dozen more jokes of this kind
)
Magrathean
worldbuilder
Please do tell. Anything that is excessively cruel with babies and the likes is to my extreme enjoyment.
RampageSword
AWARE! BEWARE! WAR!
Crap, I just said I was going to sleep.....Oh whatever.
Q : How do you stop a child from running in circles in the living room?
A : You nail his other foot to the ground.
Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
A : Just one. If you throw him hard enough.
Q : What's more horrible than ten dead babies in one garbage can?
A : One dead baby in ten garbage cans.
Q : How do you stop a baby from crying when giving him his bath?
A : Raise the water's temperature over 100 celcius.
Q : What the difference between a regular baby and a difformed baby?
A : 10 minutes in the microwave.
That's it for now. I'll try and remember the others tomorrow.
Q : How do you stop a child from running in circles in the living room?
A : You nail his other foot to the ground.
Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
A : Just one. If you throw him hard enough.
Q : What's more horrible than ten dead babies in one garbage can?
A : One dead baby in ten garbage cans.
Q : How do you stop a baby from crying when giving him his bath?
A : Raise the water's temperature over 100 celcius.
Q : What the difference between a regular baby and a difformed baby?
A : 10 minutes in the microwave.
That's it for now. I'll try and remember the others tomorrow.
marduk1507
Member
Whats the difference between a pile of babies and a pile of snow?
You cannot throw snow with a dung-fork.
You cannot throw snow with a dung-fork.
Nitronium Blood
UM BOARDS' JESTER
marduk1507
Member
Nitronium Blood
UM BOARDS' JESTER
marduk1507 said:
i know this version :
Whats the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of sand?
You can't unload the sand with a dung-fork
marduk1507
Member
I know a similar "egg" one:
A policeman is watching 2 planes at a show and suddenly the planes fly each in other direction, so one eye of the cop goes left and one eye right. He cant get them back, so his colleagues take him to the doctor. The doc looks at the cop and says: "Just put an egg on his nose and his eyes will return to the right position". After a week the cops return, their colleague totally devastated and the doctor asks: "My goodness, what have you done to him!??" and the cops reply: "Well, we have tried as hard as we could, but we couldnt make it up to the nose".
A policeman is watching 2 planes at a show and suddenly the planes fly each in other direction, so one eye of the cop goes left and one eye right. He cant get them back, so his colleagues take him to the doctor. The doc looks at the cop and says: "Just put an egg on his nose and his eyes will return to the right position". After a week the cops return, their colleague totally devastated and the doctor asks: "My goodness, what have you done to him!??" and the cops reply: "Well, we have tried as hard as we could, but we couldnt make it up to the nose".
Magrathean
worldbuilder
marduk: 
Nitro: Um... how about this one?
Q: In what way are a frying pan and men's underwear related?
A: They both keep eggs hot/warm.
Nitro: Um... how about this one?
Q: In what way are a frying pan and men's underwear related?
A: They both keep eggs hot/warm.
Magrathean
worldbuilder
Cuthalion: I liked the chaos-lightning quote better. Oh, well, all things must come to an end, i suppose.
marduk1507
Member
I think Ive posted this one, but what the....
Whats the difference between sex on the beach and US (wanted to write American, but since there are so many Americans here who arent American ) beer?
There isnt any. Both are damn close to water!
Whats the difference between sex on the beach and US (wanted to write American, but since there are so many Americans here who arent American
) beer?There isnt any. Both are damn close to water!
UndoControl said:Cuthalion: I liked the chaos-lightning quote better. Oh, well, all things must come to an end, i suppose.
maybe you will like this one better
