The definite, new "How Do You Feel" Thread

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Yes. I feel like this because i have failed myself (and other people, but i don't care about them, so that doesn't count). I have failed to live up to my standards, to prove to myself that i can be the best at what i do, to be what i used to be and what i've always wanted to continue to be.

But i doubt you want to listen to my complaints.
 
UndoControl said:
But i doubt you want to listen to my complaints.
Click to expand...


that´s what this thread is for ;)
I just tried to find out more precisely, because this "failure"-feeling is familiar to many here one time or another, including myself.

If your standards are your own inherent dream, then I wish you strength to continue. It will be much worse to give up the aim and always have sorrow about that, than to reach it maybe 80%. I think that by setting yourself some goals that makes you go in the right direction (but usually people set themselves higher goals than they can reach, just for motivation), but there may not be one perfect way to go. Maybe there are alternative routes?
It´s something else when the standards you refer to were maybe set by the family or surrounding, from your influences. Then not reaching them can mean that this is not your foremost interest, just something you thought_you_should_do.


Last time I was feeling pretty blue, I kind of wrote that into the guestbook of Insomnium, one of my favourite bands. Their reply was "don´t let them get you down" and indeed I tell that to myself whenever the same problem keeps coming back :)

Anyways, your life is not ending now, from your failures you can also draw strength to keep going and maybe do better at the next chance. Surely you have already learned something from just trying, that´ll prepare you better for the next steps.
 
In this case (as should be in all cases), it's my own personal goal, not one set by someone else. Right now it seems as though i might not reach it, and that frustrates me almost beyond words. Indeed, when i'm frustrated i write stuff down in http://www.xanga.com/NotBuiltToLast (you're free to go there and read my senseless writings whenever you want :)), which makes me feel better. This time, though, the frustration just went too far because it was my doing and my own failure to live up to my standards rather than someone else's.

Thanks for the support. True, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. but sometimes i get sick of becoming stronger and stronger, of getting up just to fall down again. And yes, i did learn something: i learned that, as hard as i thought i was trying, it wasn't enough. Maybe next time i'll try harder, bust my brains out to accomplish this. Maybe it still won't be enough. In any case, thank you. =)
 
UndoControl said:
And yes, i did learn something: i learned that, as hard as i thought i was trying, it wasn't enough.
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this may be insensitive, but i can't help it:

demotivators_1862_1400185


and now seriously: sorry you're going through bad times. eventually it will get better. and then it wil get bad again. and so on and so on, that's life.
unless you're always down. but then at least you'll have stability, right?

NF: very fed up with the world. i think i should go on that spanish mountains spiritual trek.
 
Hitori said:
demotivators_1862_1400185
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Don't worry, i didn't take it badly. =)

Hitori said:
eventually it will get better. and then it wil get bad again. and so on and so on, that's life.
unless you're always down. but then at least you'll have stability, right?
Click to expand...
LOL. True.
Used to happen. About four years ago. Lasted about two years.
And now i'm unstable again. =P

Hitori said:
NF: very fed up with the world. i think i should go on that spanish mountains spiritual trek.
Click to expand...
Why are you fed up with the world? (I get fed up with it a lot, so i know how you feel.)
 
huh what happened to my picture?
anyway, fed up with schoolwork, with worrying about what to do after i graduate, etc. nothing too serious.
 
@Undo: what kind of a siren would i be if i were to say 'no'? ;)
i don't want a relationship right now, but this newfound shitload of attention is interesting and pleasant.. i guess i'll torture them a bit, i'm curious what number my victims will reach..

as for your feeling of failure, i've been there. i don't know your exact situation, so i can't really help you. just be careful not to lead yourself in a vicious circle of more failures because of your disappointment..
 
Siren said:
what kind of a siren would i be if i were to say 'no'? ;)
i don't want a relationship right now
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LOL. You mean you don't want a relationship right now besides the guy you're marrying. ;)

Siren said:
i don't want a relationship right now, but this newfound shitload of attention is interesting and pleasant..
Click to expand...
Been there. Believe me, when they become annoying and yet you don't want to hurt them it turns into a nightmare.

Siren said:
as for your feeling of failure, i've been there. i don't know your exact situation, so i can't really help you. just be careful not to lead yourself in a vicious circle of more failures because of your disappointment..
Click to expand...
I could tell you the whole story if you care to listen to it. Still, wise words. I'll try not to.. but usually frustration and obsession get ahold of me and it's really hard for me to break loose.
 
UndoControl said:
In this case (as should be in all cases), it's my own personal goal, not one set by someone else. Right now it seems as though i might not reach it, and that frustrates me almost beyond words. Indeed, when i'm frustrated i write stuff down in http://www.xanga.com/NotBuiltToLast (you're free to go there and read my senseless writings whenever you want :)), which makes me feel better. This time, though, the frustration just went too far because it was my doing and my own failure to live up to my standards rather than someone else's.

Thanks for the support. True, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. but sometimes i get sick of becoming stronger and stronger, of getting up just to fall down again. And yes, i did learn something: i learned that, as hard as i thought i was trying, it wasn't enough. Maybe next time i'll try harder, bust my brains out to accomplish this. Maybe it still won't be enough. In any case, thank you. =)
Click to expand...


I looked up the link, seems not so much some posting along, rather looks like lyrics or poems or "advanced writing" ;)

Concerning the easy dismissal of "other people´s expectations", that´s great if this is the case, but you say that so easily as if people couldn´t unintentionally and unawarely be influenced by their surroundings at all. It happens to many when they grow up and often it takes some time to distinguish between outer and inner expectations. Ultimately it can even be that you have the same goal for yourself than your friends/family/pals have, only you have different reasons for reaching it. Like you would like (some far fetched example) to become a painter because you just love doing this, and your surrounding would like you becoming it because you could get famous or fulfil their own unlived dreams, maybe when one parent was an artist, too, but unknown, or always wanted to become it, then decided for something "safe". I don´t mean this for you specifically, just against that "Of course it is my own goal, what else could it be".


I`m not sure if what doesn´t kill you makes you stronger, I haven´t meant it exactly with this popular saying ;) Just that it can help in some way or another. And then I find there is some really fine dignity in persons really battling with themselves, their wishes and their expectations and trying to reach something. I see too many people around who don´t live for anything anymore, just that they have a TV, a car, a stereo, an apartment and some computer games and can go out every weekend, that´s all they ask from life and it seems very sad to me.

btw, I had this idea that you might be interested to look into what other forumers went through, thought of or debated about, b/c this thread has at least two previous ones, which were locked as they grew too large. Here (2004-05) and here (2002-04 - I specially recommend this one) you find 3 years of sorrow and depression on the DT-board ;)
That one about dreams and hopes was also very nice. From both you can also see that most people did indeed overcome their bad times. :)



NP: Kent
 
UnDoControl, I think it would help you a great deal if you stopped listening to Entwine.

I feel a huge urge to slam myself on the forehead (symbolically, if you will) when I read writing like the one on your website...the 'complicated' style, the whole 'beautiful pain/beauty/darkness' thing, you know. I'm sure (well, fairly sure) there are 'proper' reasons for your sadness and depression, but I'm not very tolerant of the way you let them out.
Poor twisted elitist me.
 
firangel: It's advanced writing. ;) I've posted some lyrics a few times, but they're always in italics. Whatever isn't in italics is mine (except for one post made up of Lacuna Coil verses). And thanks for the links, i'll check them out. =) I always say that the great thing about experience is that you can learn not only from your own experience but also from others'.

FourthHorseman: Haha... you know, listening to depressive music when i'm depressed makes me feel better, not worse. Anyway, what about the way i write don't you like and why do you want to --symbolically-- slam yourself on the forehead?
 
UndoControl said:
Anyway, what about the way i write don't you like and why do you want to --symbolically-- slam yourself on the forehead?
Click to expand...

i don't know about him, but for me it's the melodramatic tones that tear it. they give the impression you take yourself very seriously, and therefore your writings. it's never a good idea to do this unless you're, like, shakespeare. concepts are easily obliterated by cliched definitions of feelings (well, mostly pain and underachievement, in your case): while you pen yet another comparison between your exquisite gloom and the contorted perfection of suffering, the prose has lost its focus, you're tying words together in an overdone stream of consciousness. read something (but not too much!) in the same style and you'll see it's been tried before with identical results.

but don't stop listening to entwine. i like entwine. just realize their lyrics are utter shit.
 
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